My huband and I have been going through some problems and arguing. Some hurtful things have been said from both sides. We sat down and talked about what has been going on. We both want for our marriage to workout for the rest of our lives. But, my husband is having a harder time than I in trying to forget all that has been said and done. He gets frusterated with me easily and is mad at me still. I asked him last night why is he being that way with me. He says that he just needs some time to get over what we have been going through. Then things will get back to how they used to be. What can I do, to help him get over being so angry with me. We both love each other, and are just getting through some things. We just want to be happy again. Should I just leave my husband to himself. Give him space so that way he can get over being so angry with me? Should I try and get him to do things with me? I dont know what to do. I have no one to talk to. Please, serious answers.
2007-02-03 02:02:36 · 20 answers · asked by What_if 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Men like to go into their caves. I the best thing to do is leave him alone. Be civil and try to act the way things were before all the crap started. If you both love each other he'll come around. I know it hurts and you fell isolated but it will pass. He'll respect you more believe me I've been through this.
2007-02-03 11:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by jjeano661 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definately leave him alone. If you are constantly there he is constantly reminded how you have hurt him. Don't take that as me taking his side, because I'm not. I'm sure he has said and done things that have hurt you as well. What I'm telling you now is what I would do based on the information you have provided.
Believe it or not words can sometimes cut deeper than something like infidelity. Words are a very powerful tool when cutting someone down. Always try to remember, you can never take them back once they have left your lips. Not saying that you should hold back on how you feel, but most definately DO NOT say them when angery. Many times the same point can be made in a polite way.
Believe me, I know how you feel. My husband and I are going through some tuff times ourselves. We have a very similar problem. I like to talk things out and work through the problem he doesn't. I would give him his space. Give him time to sift through his thoughts. Let him come to you. I have found that for some reason, when they are ready to talk about things the conversation will go so much smoother. Not to mention, then and only then are they ready to really listen and take in what you have to say. You want him to miss being close to you and have time to think on the good times that you two have had together.
It's funny how different we are from the male species. Women have a tendancy to want to talk things out, because it makes us feel better. Men need solitude to reflect on their thoughts before converstation. Not saying that either party is wrong...we are just different.
I hope this helps and please feel free to email me. Take care.
2007-02-03 10:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by mccmb02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much depends on the issues. If it's an issue of infidelity, marital counseling may be an option or just trying to discuss what happened. If it's fiinancial or other family crises which seem never ending, then it's a fiery determination to realize that you will get through these things. Somehow you always do and you have to keep believing in that. Each person needs to evaluate their role in the marriage and realize if your goals are still common. Are you both working toward the same thing, enjoying vacations. If not then ask why? Recapture those moments that first brought you together. Be sure to find something to laugh about everyday. My wife and I do. It is so important especially since we both have high stress jobs.
2007-02-03 10:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by kyghostchaser2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I went thought the same exact thing. She said the most hurtful thing you could imagine. All in frustration. For me, it didn't take me long at all to get over it. When she would try apologizing I would tell her I needed space and to leave me alone when in fact it was the absolute total opposite. I wanted her to say she was sorry and I wanted her to be by me and talk softly and I guess basically comfort me. I remember when I told her to give me space, so she would and I would get angry because she would actually do it. I guess when a guy is pissed off and he tells you to leave him alone and you do, than he gets even more angry, he's really asking for attention. It was selfish on my part but i love being comforted by the attention.
2007-02-03 10:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by jay b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your husband and tell him how and what you are feeling.... Since you both want this marriage to work seek counseling and help for the marriage and relationship. He may also need help and counseling for himself too and for his frustration that he is feeling... Give him some speace yes but do not leave the home. Go out for a while and let him have alone time to himself. Ask him what he wants and what he meant when he said he needed space.
2007-02-03 10:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man respond to ACTIONS, rather then WORDS.
DO things for him that make him feel happy:
Cook his favourite meals often
Don't ask him to help around the house too much, clean on your own and light scented candles everywhere (I love the ones from Glade).
If he likes sports, invite some of his guy friends over to watch a football game and you make sure there is enough beer and snakes for the boys.
Surprise him with a sexy lingerie ensemble and give him mind blowing sex.
Don't over-talk problems that are unresolved, try to put them out of your mind once in a while, so your brain re-charges and go do something FUN with him (Go out dancing, bawling, see a funny movie)
Good luck, and cheer up.
2007-02-03 10:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spending time together without mentioning the problems may help. Go out and do something fun together. Too much space can make you grow apart.
All you can do is apologize. Forgive and forget. If he is not willing to do this and go on, there may be an underlying problem. You may not be the cause of this problem. Men look for excuses when they want to stray.
2007-02-03 10:33:04 · answer #7 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you be more specific in what you did to make him so angry with you? But, I don't think leaving him to give him more space is the answer. But, really, I need more details of what happened to give you a better answer.
2007-02-03 10:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by Groovy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi What if,
I agree with Millie, you need to be honest and tell the whole story if you really want valid advice or comments. You seem to have left out the part as to why your husband is upset.
Good Luck.
Rod
2007-02-03 10:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by RodneyOZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him some space otherwise it you trying to talk to him it may sound like nagging and men dont like that. Give him space and then try bringing up the 'talking' at a slower pace and dont force him to do stuff that he doesnt want.
2007-02-03 10:25:08 · answer #10 · answered by Riderya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋