Does my wife love me an will my marriage survive? Or is she just confused about life?

Question

My wife kicked me out of the house two weeks ago. We have two small children. She sounds confused and depressed. She speaks of the past and the selfish things that I have done. She has gone to counseling once. When I ask her to serve me with divorce papers, she indicates that she does not know if she is making the right decision. She blames everything on me. We had our last child 1-1/2 years ago. She continues to send mix messages. She does not like the idea of custody. She indicates that if she would have full custody and I was to go away, would I atleast give her a telephone # for her to reach me at in case of an emergency or she is on her death bed. I'm going into surgery in two weeks to remove a small growth, She called me yesterday and asked at what time was the surgery. She also took care of all insurance issues. She came from a controlling family and we live on the second floor of her mothers house. Can this be an issue? Should I give up on the women that I love

Answer 1

Do you really love this woman? If so, don't give up. You mention the selfish things you have done in the past, but please don't expect her to just forget those issues. Take your time and work your way back into her life. It may not happen fast as you will now need to PROVE to her you love her and have changed. Having someone in your life to love and having her love in return is priceless. Please try and work it out.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Show her this question and perhaps some of the answers at least those that are positive. If I were her I would see the interest you have in saving this marriage. I notice especially you are loving and caring please consider your child having to deal with a broken family and the possibility that another person acting as a parent will certainly have different parenting skills and that seldom works out between the 3 adults. You mention living close to maternal grandmother . Could be but not necessarily a problem. Sometimes the mate your child chooses is just not good enough in your eyes. and attitudes and innuendo can cause problems for your marriage. It seems obvious you both care for each other ,so the hard work at marriage sure beats the alternative . No matter who our mate is relationships are always difficult.and the more of them we have the more difficult all become. Problems don't just add, they multiply!!!

Answer 4

Sounds like she might be confused and depressed. You guys need more than one counseling session, you probably need months of counseling. And moving away from family members that interfere is always a good idea. If you love her don't give up. And if there are things that you have done in the past, admit that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness. But also, do everything that you can to show her you have change. Relationships take work, so be prepared to do the work it takes. It will be worth it in the end for the sake of your children. Good luck to you

Answer 5

Hi, well first of all, you sound confused as well. You say you love yr wife, than ask if you should give up, and are asking her to serve you divorce papers? You mentioned “the selfish thing(S)” you have done, yet not indicate what they are. Yr wife sounds as though she loves you, yet cannot/does not know how to handle yr situation, hence yr interpretation of the confusion and mixed messages being sent. Was there a betrayal from yr part within yr marriage (no need to answer here, ask yrself), if so, this could definitely be the root cause of yr marital problems, and her trust will need to be regained and earned by you before embarking on other issues. In regards to your telephone number being given in case of sickness, insurances…why is this even being discussed??...this is secondary to a very import decision!! You have 2 very young children…keep them in mind, and at centre of yr hearts (BOTH OF YOU), before jumping the gun. Additionally by what you have posted here, another major prob within yr marriage is a communication break-down. Please consider attending marital communications seminar, or at least visit a therapist who is trained to give you good communication skills…Good luck to you and yr family…

Answer 6

First and foremost move out of that house. Sound like her family is filling her head with stuff and that's not good. Take her back to counseling and both of you go together. There is no marriage that doesn't have it's problems but if she really loves you she will try work things out. Don't give up. I did the same thing to my husband because I was confused and overwhelmed with everything but counseling helped us and now were doing good. So good luck to you.

Answer 7

My first wife and I once lived on the second floor of her parent's house; and it was then all the minor problems in our marriage became magnified.
Her constantly confiding in her mother, especially one that really doesn't care for you, could be a major contributor to your problems.
If you really want to salvage this marriage, one of the first things you have to do is find your family their own apartment, preferably as far away from her parents as possible. If your wife disagrees with this, then I don't see much of a future for you.
(I lasted only one month before leaving and eventually getting a divorce. Also, if it comes to this, demand joint legal custody of your children. I speak from experience.)

Answer 8

NO...get her back into counseling. It takes more than 1 session to sort thru things. Go to a marriage counselor with her. If she is depressed it will get worse before it gets better. Hang in there if you truly love her. AND YES, family has a big impact on people lots more times than you can imagine. Especially very opinionated families. May consider moving to somewhere else where they are not talking every day and offering advice.(Of course, there is always the phone...but, one can hope.)

Answer 9

What about you two going into therapy together. She's confused and doesn't know what she wants and you have not indicated what you have done that started all this, plus you were eager for her to get the papers ready. You two can't seem to resolve this on your own and really need a third party to see things from the outside...that's if you really want to work it out.

Answer 10

She sounds absolutely confused. Don't give up on your marriage. She is probably in fear of your surgery, you know how some people see everything so seriously and before people go under the knife,they think of things that they did with that person,or that person did to them,and remind you constantly of it,ever think she is trying to get you to admitt wrong,maybe to put you in a better place?
She cares for you,and if you love her,don't give up,and don't let her give up on you.