My husband met a woman at work. Right after they met, they kissed while drunk at a bar. HE SAYS they decided it was a mistake, but then went on to become great friends. The kind that he shares info about our relationship with her (to have a woman's perspective). She lives in Austraillia, we live in US, they see each other when they both travel to work events. This has been going on almost a year. Oh, and there is this other woman he met in CA (where he travels quite often) that he's been friends with for 2 years. This has all just come to light and I'm trying to grapple with it all. He is so convincing about it all. And he absolutely does not understand why men can't have women friends when they are married. We've been together since college (20 years) and we're in marraige counceling. I just needed to do a check of the general population to see if he is the minority or majority in his opinion.
2007-02-03 00:52:48 · 16 answers · asked by dumbfounded 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So sorry that you are going through this. I know how you must feel . I am a 45 yr old male and from my perspective , it looks to me that he is doing more than just being friends. Don`t put up with it because you or anyone else out there does not deserve this. It is fine to be friends with women whom you know well and they socialize in your circles but not when on a business trip and to top it off add alcohol in the mix and you are not there. I know that we want to give our spouse the benefit of the doubt but ask him why can`t he find friends with people in your social circle and get their perspective especially with them knowing you. It is great that you are getting counceling...... You take care.
2007-02-03 01:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your spouse has no longer cheated on you. She go with you over inspite of adult adult males she knew contained in the previous. She admitted to a chum in an e-mail that she ever has some guilt over your previous habit. What do you want her to do the following? have you ever advised her how her comments made you sense? in case you won't be able to talk effectively you actually have an issue it truly is unrelated. the bigger challenge is that you do not have self belief her, you're saying you imagine she lied about the STD. women human beings get all styles of peculiar stuff of their woman backyard section even as they're pregnant. Your hormones are out of control, your body is busy transforming into someone. Deployment is demanding on all and multiple contained in the kinfolk, yet you already know that. Marriage counseling is accessible to you, at very least provide it a try.
2016-11-02 05:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel this way. So many times you hear someone say, it's what your not doing. I don't agree. Why does he need another woman's perspective on your relationship? Your in it with him. If he's confused about something , ask you. Someone else does not know you. I would not trust him or these other women. Next time he is going away, get a ticket, fly out and see what is going on. If things are on the up and up no one should mind.
2007-02-03 02:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by Chloe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have women friends that my wife does not know about. I like to chat with them from time to time to get another women's perspective on things. However, I have never met them in person and only chat with them online occasionally. I agree that there is nothing wrong with having women friends when you are married, but your husband seems to have pushed the boundary of these relationships. I am glad to see that you and your husband are in marriage counseling. I hope everything works out well for both of you.
2007-02-03 01:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Shauny B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is a BIG Cheater No matter how you look at it..He makes up excuses and you sound like you agree with him, i would dump him it seems that whereever he may go he probably will have another woman, and he probably has several you just know about the 2.. If it were my husband and he kissed another woman i would leave him a kiss leads to other things and you may not know about what else he has done because he has not told you and may never tell you.
2007-02-03 01:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys should watch "When Harry met Sally" together...Billy Crystal (or Harry) makes a lot of great points about plutonic relationships in this movie. Given that these two have kissed...I would highly doubt it's merely an innocent friends...
2007-02-03 01:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by blamb! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he is constantly making only female friends when he is gone, i would be worried. Are there male friends on these trips and if not maybe its not really work related. my girl dig up all you can to put ur mind at ease, there is obviously something you are not sure of otherwise you wouldnt need help to find out if he is true or not. If you feel it in you heart and gut then tell him to take you along and see for yourself and if not then let him go. Save your pride and dignity for someone who will respect you.
2007-02-03 01:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by tralw2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like red flags to me, especially if he's been keeping this info from you. Men should not have female friends that they spend time alone with. He's handing you reasons to be suspicious. I would ask him to end these "friendships" for the sake of your marraige.
2007-02-03 01:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph's Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men can have women friends. But, I find it really fishy that these women are out of state that he sees frequently when he travels. He's telling you about them in case something happens...meaning if he gets caught, he can thow out that "why can't guys have friends who are women?" Basically, turning the tables on you making you feel guilty about it. My guy has women friends, but generally hangs out with them with other friends who are guys or I get invited to hang out too. I have guy friends that I don't hang out with without my guy. It's a matter of respect for him. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's got women on the side for his travels.
2007-02-03 01:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by Groovy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they are just friends, I see no problem with it. If it is on the up and up, then you should know all about them. Does he have women friends where you live and do you know them ? If he only has women friends out of town, and he has kissed one of them, this sounds fishy. I would be suspicious.
2007-02-03 01:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋