I have been married for a little over a year. I think my husband is nice-looking but he is very touchy. This turns me off. He always wants to hug me or hold my hand or kiss me. When I pull away he gets a little upset. I have tried talking with him about this numerous times. He always says he will quit "pulling on me" but then a week later he's doing it again. When we married he was a virgin and I was not. He is very inexperienced and I don't like to tell him what to do in the bedroom. We have not been intimate in about 5 months. Can someone please offer some advice?
******serious answers only. all others will be reported as abuse. thank you.*******
2007-02-02 23:49:21 · 13 answers · asked by MiMi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is very emotional too. Sometimes he makes me feel like I am with a woman. He is always crying or overly emotional. He's not a manly-man and I don't feel secure around him. I don't feel like he could protect me cause he's too busy worried about his emotions.
2007-02-03 00:32:33 · update #1
You need to either talk to him openly, but kindly or get some outside, objective, experienced help - that you both agree to. Maybe some sort of trusted counselor -- that knows what s/he is doing.
If you are newly married, your husband wants you, but you have being celibate for 5 months with no end in sight - the end of your marriage could come into view at any time.
If your husband is the touchy type and you rebuff his advances for MONTHS, you two are asking for serious problems.
2007-02-03 00:03:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband gets like that and I try to tell him he is smothering me but then he gets all upset about it. You should seek counseling... Its always easier to get the point across to eachother when there is a third person mediating. You havent had sex for 5 months? My husband would never go 5 months without. He will make my life miserable. I find when we are intimate he's either smothering more then before or he backs off some. I wonder if I were to smother him would he feel the same? The only problem with that is Im not that type of person so even if I try I cant do it long enough to make him feel smothered. Good luck.
2007-02-03 08:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by Jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very personal problem. You say when you married him, he was a virgin and you were not. First get this idea out of your mind. You say your husband is nice looking. Get this more into your head. You say you were married over a year and are not intimate for about five months. You also say he is inexperienced in the bedroom. Take advantage of this. Help him to satisfy you and also himself. Give yourself unto him completely, so that he is fully satisfied. This will help him to avoid pulling you. Sex satisfaction is very important in a married life. incomplete sex can ruin your life which has started on love. Have patience and take him with you and never neglect his feelings. VASUSESHA
2007-02-03 08:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by vasusesha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to break out of the cycle you're in.
Here's what's happening. This is a bit of a chicken and egg thing, in that I could make either point first:
Your husband acts like an emotional suck, trying to ease his way into sex with you rather then being manly about it.
You tell him to get away from you, because you find that repulsive.
He becomes more emotionally distressed, lower self esteem, tries hard to be gentle and romantic, like 80% or the women here would be telling him to if he posted.
You find him even less interesting, and reject him harder.
Etc.
You need to tell him that you need for him to act like a MAN. He needs to stop trying to ease you twoards sex. He needs to stop being all emotional. He needs to probably stop walking on eggshells around you. He needs to find his balls, and when he wants sex, he needs to grab you and bend you over.
And when he does, you need to go along with it.
I suspect he'd benefit from the book 'No more mr. nice guy.' Don't be put off by the name, though he'll probably love it. "No more spineless wuss who forgot how to be a man while trying to just please his wife so she'll sleep with him' might be a more accurate title.
This is going to be a journey, but both of you need to start being much, much more forthright about what you want from each other.
2007-02-04 00:48:15 · answer #4 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unbolt your knees and live with it. You better enjoy it now because once your older fatter and much less attractive, you will be begging for what he's giving you now. That's if you don't divorce him for cheating on you and that is exactly where this is heading. And by marrying a virgin, you took a tremendous risk. Pushing him away mixed with curiosity of other women will have disasterous effects.
2007-02-03 08:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be happy that your husband loves you so much and shows you all the time not many husbands do anymore, you sound like you don't like the attention that your husband gives you and i bet alot of women will tell you that they wish their husbands were more like yours.. If he was a virgin i am sure in time he will get more experience but in the meantime you will have to be his teacher..So be patient.
2007-02-03 07:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it a turn off when he touches you?Not being intimate for that long in a short marriage is definitely trouble.Figure out why you don't like him touching you before you ask him to stop doing it.Definitely take the lead in the bedroom-once he knows how to please you in there,maybe you will love the affection he lavishes upon you.
2007-02-03 08:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to talk to him. Communication is essential. It sounds like he loves you very much and is only trying to be affectionate with you. If you're both opposites about affection, it may pose problems. The best way to ensure pleasure in the bedroom is to tell him what you like- guide him. Men are turned on when you tell them what to do.
2007-02-03 07:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi dear
the problem is serious I wish to know more in order to understand the problem properly
pl answer some question U can also mail me in my id jaya_n_l@yahoo.com
tell me first do u have feeling for your husband
what is the region for your first problem i.e (he is very touchy)
u didn't like his touch or he is inexperience
it the only problem is he is unexperience .
reply to make me understand situation well
2007-02-03 08:09:42 · answer #9 · answered by jaya l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could make a game out of it, the bedroom part of it.
Become a Dom and have him do your bidding.
This way you could relieve your frustrations and maybe he will understand he needs to take charge in the bedroom.
Just a thought.
2007-02-03 08:00:38 · answer #10 · answered by eyes_of_iceblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋