My husband and I got in a arguement, he left, I had this weird feeling so I drove by the local strip club and there was his vehicle, I went inside and he was sitting there with his wedding rings off and even his father ring off, that his children bought him. I cant get passed this. Is this cheating? I just dont trust him anymore. Should the marriage be over?
2007-02-02 22:51:00 · 25 answers · asked by ladybug27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, Im a good mother/wife, I strive to keep my apperance up for him size 6 after 3 children. I have never stepped out of bounds.
2007-02-02 23:00:24 · update #1
I thought to look there, because of a atm withdrawl close by. My bank shows where money was withdrawn at, not far from the strip club.
2007-02-02 23:04:05 · update #2
No.
We men have a tough time dealing with emotions sometimes,
Especially strong ones like he would have experienced after a fight with you. Often this will cause us to do self destructive things. I've gone to strip joints for the same reason before. You see some pretty girls taking off their clothes and pretending that they like you and you have a few beers and cool down from the fight. No one I know has ever picked up a stripper and had sex with her. Most of them don't even like men.
Its just a way to blow off steam and you shouldn't take it seriously. The ring thing is just because he was mad and he wanted to do some pretending too. Pretend hes not married, pretend his wife wasn't just fighting with him and just get drunk.
If he was out cruising for hookers or drugs that would be something to worry about. This isn't most likely.
I wonder why you were fighting and if you were fighting fair......
Good luck
2007-02-02 23:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Doug 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are both being foolish.
Its obvious he does not go there often or he would know that
no one cares if you are wearing rings. They just want your cash.
You do not get to see **** for free in that world.
You on the other hand are jealous and posessive or you would not be following him. What prompted that?
It is not cheating unless he is having sex with another. Get that straight. Looking at naked women does not make you a cheater. Strip clubs are really not a place you find sex without paying for it.
That being asked what drove him out of the house for that? Why did he leave from this argument? You are not totally up front about what went on before this.
It sounds like you have been attempting to control him for a while and he has had enough.
You have managed to build this issue up into a marriage trust issue where he seems to be fighting your control.
I can't say for certain but I will bet that this is because you shut him off for something.
You both need to step back and take a good hard look at what you are doing here.
From this seat it looks like you have been playing some kind of martyr game which will result in a broken home for your children.
Both stupid and both foolish.
WAKE UP and GROW UP.
Follow Up:
Its hard to be gentle here. Did you really ask which kind of dog to get for your daughter just 7 minutes after this one? Where is your head at? Husband left due to argument and you are thinking about puppys? Your personality is becoming more clear. You are in a situation where your marriage is at risk and you are woondering about a puppy. And NO bull mastifs are NOT appropriate for children. Do you have a clue what is important?
2007-02-03 00:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you and your husband had an argument. He took off. Hmmm.
How did you figure he'd head for the local strip club? There's just one in your town? Must be a really small town.
Sounds like you had more than just a "premonition". Sounds like he's done it before. That's why you knew where to find him. That's was probably part of the reason for the argument. Just a logicall assumption on my part.
You know, just because a man takes off the rings doesn't mean he's going to cheat. Chicks do it all the time. It doesn't mean their going to cheat either.
It's kind of like the kid who wears all the gang stuff but couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag. But he still wants to dress like he could.
My guess is that you and he were really at each other's throat's and he was getting the worst of it this time. You probably have your time in the sun too... you know: the little "I'll show him" actions.
Why should the marriage be over just because of this. Women get with they're girlfriends, trash on their significant others (guys do the same thing) then sometimes they find it to be an excellent excuse to check out the Male Exotic Dance Review and end up stuffing $20 bills into the dancers crotch....
john michael
2007-02-02 23:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by phil m 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget about the strip club, that isn't the problem. Don't let that distract you from the real problems and the argument you had prior. The two of you need to discuss honestly and calmly what you are both feeling, emotions and daily stresses can really weigh on a marriage. You both need to understand and accept eachothers feelings. How can he make you happier if you don't tell him what you want or expect. And, How can you make him happier if you don't know what his needs are. Makes sense, right.
Do mention to him that you can understand the strip club thing,( in moderation ofcourse), But taking off the rings, that really hurt, and may take sometime to get over.
Best of Luck
2007-02-03 00:59:18 · answer #4 · answered by DancingDawn 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally ignore that pathetic excuse of an answer from (Florida Man)
What a jerk, he has no idea at all, wouldnt have a brain in his head.
This has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with him.
It wouldnt matter if you were Megan Gale (top Australian model), he would still go.
He took offf his rings cause he didnt want to be seen as someone who had a family, whether that be, he's embarrased that the rings symbolise marriage and thats why he took them off, or he wants people to see he's single in case he pickes up?
You should be angry, i would have a hard time coping with this aswell.
I believe this is cheating, as he is trying to satisfy his sexual needs from looking at another woman/women besides his wife.
Whether he done it out of anger or pleasure? either way its not on.
I would'nt be able to trust my husband if he done anything like that either, dosen't make for a strong marriage.
I hope things get better for you, IM me if you need to talk furthur.
I find it amazing how most of the answers are from men saying get over it, or thats just normal behaviour because thats the way we are. What a load of crap, i think there are alot of men out there that obviously dont give a toss about the feelings of their significant others. And when they get married and settle down, **** on their wives, then their wives leave them, these men cry, poor me.
But they bring it on themselves.
If you love the person your with, and if you still need sexual stimulation from another, whether that be watching, reading, touching etc, stay bloody single, do the world a favour
2007-02-03 01:12:53 · answer #5 · answered by jordancassandra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl RELAX. NO you should not end your marriage and this is not cheating. He is a healthy male with healthy sexual desires. I'd be angry about you following me. The tighter you try to control him the more he will want to rebel. Strip clubs are not brothels.
He isn't bring a STD home, he isn't spending every last cent on a hooker, he is just blowing off a little sexual tension or perhaps building up a little.
His sexual desire doesn't shut off once he gets married.
I am married with a daughter and I been to several strip clubs ( I also watch porn and occassionally masterbate to it like 90% of men). I am open about it with my wife and we have a happy, healthy marriage.
Have you NEVER look at another man's bum, read a romance novel, etc. Men are turned on by visual. He is just a normal guy.
If he is a good husband and father, give him and hug and realize you are over reacting.
2007-02-02 23:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No it's not cheating just because he went to a strip club. Most married guys at a club don't wear there rings either.
2007-02-03 13:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by n0s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would be pissed too, but then you gotta realize, he's a man. Thats just something some of them do. He couldn't tell you cause you'd freak out. His rings were off so that he wouldn't have to answer any questions or be made to feel guilty by the people around him. Just remember who he goes home to. Talk to him, let him know you don't like it and leave it alone. If he does it again, he did it with no regards to the feelings you expressed and is then an insensitive asshole.
2007-02-03 02:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by tiaantbyrd22 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be nuts. For just an argument and finding him in a strip club, you are ready to ruin a relationship which has been on smoothly(I suppose). I believe he took out the rings just to relax and not attract women. Moreover in strip club you are not supposed to touch anyone. He probably had nothing in mind after he fouhgt with you. In order to find some place to sit. He know about the club as you knew about it and went into .it. You are just making things worse for you. Just relax and talk to him. He is yours.
2007-02-02 23:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by Tony 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Girl, a strip club is one step down from watching porn. He is on his way out. He has made this decision not you! Don't go away feeling guilty for leaving him. Now the question is.... I really hate to ask this, are you over weight, frumpy? Have you let yourself go since the pregnancy? It might be he just wants to see beautiful women... but then you said he did so with his rings off.... NO..... He's cheating, time to leave. You have the moral upper hand here. If you leave now he will forever know it's because of his indiscretions, even if he never had an affair. Don't throw away the idea of getting back in shape though!
2007-02-02 22:58:21 · answer #10 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋