We have one son, it seems that he relied on me all the time that he didn't look for a job to help me to give our son a good future, because of this i decide to work abroad for our son, until now he doesn't look for a job and i also experienced physical hurt from him. Now i met a guy, and he showed his love for me and he is wiling to accept my son. He is a harworking person and sincere. What am i going to do?Im confused, i like this guy so much, im afraid that my parents wouldn't understand me, because they wanted our family to be in tact, i don't feel the same thing now for my husband even before this guy came into my life. Im happy with this guy now and he is willing to marry me.Please help me to decide,considering the people around me especially my family.
2007-02-02 22:26:06 · 21 answers · asked by Angel Yrra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
confront your family about this.
your family maybe in tact, but the question is are you happy??
2007-02-02 22:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by GerMel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your family know he hurts you? Because they should understand why you would want out of a relationship if you were being hurting. No one deserves that and your son should not be in that type of situation...I know...my father hurt my mother when they were married and I will never forget that. If the other guy makes you happy...then you do what you think would be best for you and your son. Surely your family will understand why you want out...and if they don't then you should just make the right decision and hope for the best. But i think you should get away from your husband before he hurts your more than he has or even hurts your son. Good luck with everything..perhaps praying about the situation will help you make the right decision. :)
2007-02-02 22:33:59 · answer #2 · answered by MB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, don't leave your husband because of the new guy. If you want to leave him you should ONLY do it for yourself. The thingwith the new guy may not work out, so it's a gamble. However, from what you are describing, you haven't been happy in your marriage for quiet a while.
I stayed with my ex for 3 extra years because I was worried what other ppl especially my parents would say. My mom loved my ex and I had no support when I left him. It's been my best decision so far and I wish I wouldn't have wasted so much time b4 leaving him...
2007-02-02 22:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well now. You have to consider ht kind of guy that will date a married woman. Are you separated legally so that your husband can not accuse you of anything?
Tell the new guy to wait until you have cleared this current relationship.
If he really care for you, he will understand and respect you more
Hopefully sex has not occurred because that only complicates matters!
Know that since that husband of yours has not worked in four years and you supported him, depending on the state you are in , you will be supporting him for 1/2 the years married if under ten years.
So prepare yourself for this.
Not a good idea to jump form one man to the other. You seem to be able to take care of yourself and your child. That companionship is something you desire. Take a deep breath and figure out one at a time the things that need to be done o.k.
2007-02-02 22:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angel, I usually jump at statements like this pointing the finger and saying that women are so prone to cheating it's amazing that anyone can trust them anymore. However, you're in a position where you have a deadbeat husband. I wouldn't blame you for divorcing him. Even though, personally I only condone divorce for cheating. The problem is that marriage is not like an employment opportunity, where you look for another job while your working at the one you have. Good advice for employment, bad advice for marriage. You need to confront your husband with someone present, with the ultimatum....get a job or we are history! If there is actual fear of physical violence, make sure you have an understanding family member there. One that's as big as I, preferably. If your husband grows up and gets a job, then you owe it to your future to try to fix things there.
2007-02-02 22:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Angel: it's time to sit down and make a decision but, the big but, be ready to live with the decision you make.
You have to think about your son. He hasn't much of a father figure and, he's not much to follow, in growing up. You also have to think about your happiness too. You can't live all your life kowtowing to this person, that stopped being your husband years ago.
I'm sure in the last four years he's thought about it. Either he thinks your stupid and will support him all your life or, he has something sinister in mind like, grabbing the family jewels and leaving you. He's up to something or he's just plain lazy and boorish.
I would tell one of my four daughter to leave this person with no regrets and, good luck with the new man.
2007-02-02 22:35:23 · answer #6 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already made the decision the problem your having is how to execute the solution. No man needs to be out of work for four years I would lose respect for him and no piece of paper would prevent that. Life is short grab happiness where you can. Tell hubby first then the family and let the chips fall where they may. If they love you they will love you no matter who you love. Good Luck
2007-02-02 23:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by noddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what it takes to make you and your son happy, be with the one your supposed to be with, not the one you think you have to be with. Life is too short to be without love and happiness and no one deserves physical hurt. Get a divorce, marry the true love and move on in life!
2007-02-03 00:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by fman440 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for you falling out of love with your husband.. you made vows to him to love and care for him for the rest of your life. Him not working shouldn't be the reason why you don't love him anymore. As for him abusing you... if you want to try and make the marriage work, try talking it out with him, ask him if theirs other ways he can take his anger out, or if that don't work, try marriage counseling. If you don't want the marriage to work out anymore, consider hiring a lawyer and getting a divorce started. I wouldn't worry about what my family thought because it's your life and your marriage, not theirs. If it were my family, I think they would want me to get a divorce if my husband was abusing me.. do they know about the abuse? These are your options that I would highly consider but always follow what your heart tells you to. Good luck to you and I really hope you find someone that will love and respect you and your son for as long as you both shall live. Best Wishes,
*Courtney*
2007-02-02 22:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Courtney♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
expensive Sonal, i've got self assurance that it grew to become into not love yet a trifling allure. not needed that the allure ought to be bodily or sexually, it is even that, u initiate loving some one simply by fact he's being concerned you.!! yet did you pass checked whether you have issues in undemanding or will you be somewhat satisfied ? Now overlook the previous !! So now you will possibly desire to understand is that verbal substitute is the backbone of each courting. If it breaks, courting breaks. certainly you're proficient with a small infant boy, so for his destiny you will possibly want again jointly, share some factors, attempt to speak to one yet another and one extra element, save calm. adult adult males a while do unlike which you be attentive to folk intrude of their existence so which you will possibly desire to have "Sakshi -bhav" and likewise "Sahan-shilta" are not getting offended or panic if he tries to scold you out. attempt giving as much as love you aspects to him, do not overlook husband is quite like a infant, some cases offended, gruesome, undesirable yet nonetheless harmless and nonetheless loving. So do not permit flow the heady scent interior the relation and at some point for particular you would be a solid couple. and don't unfastened desire are not getting depressed , each morning you will possibly desire to have confidence in your self to boot as in divine. might god bless you all.
2016-09-28 08:51:15 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if your husband hurts you i think its time to move on... you dont need the physical or the financial pain...
You have no need to be confused... if you dont love your husband based on how he is treating you take control of your life and move on...... Your family must just understand... they are not the ones living with your hubby and do whats best for you and your son...
If you inlove with this new man go for it!!!!
2007-02-02 22:47:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋