i am my husbands second wife, there fore i do not live with him as he lives abroad with his wife and son.he sends me money regularly and calls me all through the day to say he loves me . yet i feel so unhappy .i will never leave him as i love him very much but how should i face the fights i have at home when my mom keeps telling me to go and live with my husband which is not possible. do you think my husband will continue to love me like this even if he never comes to see me .is it possible to remain husband and wife long distance even when u dont meet for years ? plus it is very embarassing and frustrating for me when i have to say that i am not with my husband because he already has a wife and a son
2007-02-02 22:23:35 · 7 answers · asked by miriam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What world do you live in? How can you be his second wife? Wake up girlfriend you are nothing to him. He is living a happy normal life with a wife and child and you are sitting around wasting yours waiting for someone else's man. You need to get on with your own life and have a man who can hold you and comfort you and give you children. Read you own question from a different prospective and you will see how ridiculous this situation is.
2007-02-02 22:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few years from now, you are going to look back and wonder how you could wreck your own happiness, and a family life, for a guy who is happily married and living with his wife and a son. I really dont get it when you say you are his second wife, did you mean that legally, or just as in a relationshiop. Cos if it is legally, you have every right to be with him. But legal or not, since you consider yourself as his second wife, please dont feel bad if I tell you taht you really arent his ''wife'', but only someone who could keep him company on his trips to wherever it is you are. If you really love him, and you are really cool about him living with his wife and son, a time will come when things would change, as in you being a woman, its hard for anyone to believe that you would not want a family of your own, like not just having a husband you love, but also his children. And where do you think you are in terms of his life, where do you stand ? Nowhere. Absolutley no where. You are just there, and he feeds you every now and then with money and with a telephone call saying he loves you. If thats all the shallow relationship it is, and you really dont expect anything more, then its okay, continue this way. The embarassment and frustration you face now, will slowly change into bitterness, and probably drain you emotionally.
Cut this now, tell him your terms....that you want a family, a normal family and its about time he took responsibility of this relationship...or else, just forget him and move on before you really really get old and no one would even give you a second look or thought, and you'd be left with nothing at the end of it all..
2007-02-03 06:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fidelity is being erased here along with your happiness and self respect. How can you say you love someone that makes you unhappy and you never get to live with. You can't live in a marriage that has more than one tie. Either he drops his wife or you drop him. And the lie of staying together for the benefit of the child is common with someone that has a good thing going and will not change. The lie comes in if the child saw mom and dad fight it will damage the child in later years with relationships. So my thoughts are either he's completely stupid, unthoughtful with your feelings or he's deceiving all of you. Get out now.
2007-02-03 06:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by drew2376 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is your place I assume when you come in second! It is like being perpetually on hold on a three way call and they never include you in the conversation.
How could you nto like yourself to the point ot accept some kind of arrangement like this?
Is this your culture?
Not trying to insult you, but I do not get it. My ex's must have had the same idea as your/her (husband?)
Never the less, I did not agree to the infidelity so it was good bye!
2007-02-03 06:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not married, and have no husband, but seeing as he sends you money I guess you could call yourself a concubine.
2007-02-03 12:27:33 · answer #5 · answered by oldokie1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....I hate to break it to you but he is not your husband if he is already married.....listen to your mom....she is right...It's time you got a life for yourself.....
2007-02-03 06:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope to God this is a sick joke.
2007-02-03 06:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋