I know this is an emotive issue and deserves better than flippant answers-but,regardless of your views on abortion,I think there is a massive principle at stake here.
I have a mate who's girlfriend is pregnant with his child.It doesn't suit her career at the moment to have a baby so she has decided to terminate at 14 weeks.The poor guy is distraught as he has always wanted kids and ended a childless marriage because of that reason.He has even offered to give up work to watch the baby and let her go back to her job-which pays about half as much as his!!She won't have it tho!!-
Trouble is he's asked my advice and I'm tempted to tell him to leave her as he will resent her for the rest of his life-there are far better women out there for him,and she'll ultimately get out of life what she deserves.
He's a big good looking dude-that makes women light up in his company-but he can't see past this selfish b*itch who treats him like something she has scraped off the sole of her shoe!!
2007-02-02 22:20:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
IT IS A WOMANS RIGHT TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS WITH HER BODY.HOW DOES SHE KNOW HE WONT C*CK IT THEN WALK IT WHEN THE BABY IS BORN.SHE KNOWS HIM BETTER THAN YOU.
2007-02-03 00:44:47 · answer #1 · answered by juicyjuliet75 1 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Wow what a question! It takes 2 to make a baby. Was it intended? I could write screeds on this. No father wants to know that his child has been aborted. But at the end of the day - emotions aside - doesn't it boil down to this?
The female has to go through the pregnancy and birth. And doesn't she have the right to terminate that pregnancy if she doen't think it is in her, or the child's, interest to go ahead with it.
But then again, has the female the right to terminate - some say kill - a life which would have been the man's child?
It's an age-old problem. It depends on the indivuals concerned. I just hope it gets sorted mutually.
2007-02-02 22:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by Bunts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't specify where along in the process this mother is. If she is still in the early stages of pregnancy, then she could very easily change her mind. If the baby has already been born and has gone into state custody as abandoned, you may be too late. Please understand that your friend will bond with the baby before it is born, and the baby will bond with her. Severing that bond will be traumatic for both of them. I think an arrangement where you care for the child without creating the legal fiction of an adoption for a time would be in the interests of all concerned. The child will have a loving couple to care for it, it will have access to its natural mother, and can go back to her care if that option becomes viable. If, at come future time, rights of survivorship, issues of name, or other matters make a legal adoption necessary, the process can be done then. Otherwise, just love the baby without amputating it's bond with its mother.
2016-05-23 22:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by Ardis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer the first part of your question, which is what made me click on it, No a man shouldn't be able to make the mother of his child get an abortion or to not get an abortion. When it comes down to it, it is her body so it is her decision. I believe he should have the option to walk away from them(giving up his parental rights, and if later he decides to try and get back in the child's life, he should pay back-support, the same with women that decide to terminate their parental rights and try to get back in the child's life), but not to be able to make her get an abortion or to stay pregnant.
As to the rest of your question, your friend should have left her after asking her about her plans for children and they didn't jive with his. Her wanting to further her career more and not wanting kids right now doesn't make her a "selfish b*tch", just someone that isn't compatible for your friend. They should let each other go so that they can find what they both want.
2007-02-03 01:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How about *not* demonizing the woman for making a choice for her own body?
The problem is that they are on different wavelengths. She wants to concentrate on career and he wants to settle down. No crime was committed here. He absolutely should move on and find a more like-minded partner. He definitely will end up resenting her if he continues on with her. And she's going to resent him for trying to make her want something she doesn't want.
This is the same thing that happens when a woman get pregnant and the man ditches her. He doesn't want a child. She does. The only difference is that in your friend's case, there is no child paying the price.
2007-02-03 01:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by heathen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My personal feelings are that no, it is a woman's right to choose as it is her body. Pregnancy is very traumatic to the body physically and emotionally and I do not feel a man has any right to dictate her choice in this regard. I do feel any decent women will take her husband's/partner's feelings into consideration, but at the end of the day, the decision is ultimately hers.
However, I do believe that when it is the opposite situation and the man wishes his wife to have a termination, that if she keeps her child, then he should not be olbliged to pay any sort of child support or give any kind of fnancial assistance and will not have to be in any way involved in the child's life.
HTH.
2007-02-03 00:24:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no.
Yes, in the sense that I don't believe that the mother should have the unilateral right to terminate the pregnancy over the father's objection if, and only if, the father is prepared to take on all responsibility for the child's upbringing, financial, emotional, and otherwise, including the responsibility of making a home for the child, and absolve the mother of all such responsibility.
No, in the sense that I don't believe the law should permit the father to require the mother to terminate the pregnancy over her objection under any circumstances, if and only if the mother is prepared to take on all responsibility for the child's upbringing, including making a home for the child, with such financial help from the father as the court deems appropriate, and absolve the father of all other such responsibility.
2007-02-02 23:12:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ideally a guy's choice would hold as much weight as the women's but it is her body which pretty much tips the scale in her favor. I don't know how selfish she is because she's not ready to have a baby, maybe she just isn't there yet or maybe she just doesn't want to have a baby w/ your friend, if that's the case she should let him move on. More importantly I don't get why they didn't take the necessary precautions to avoid this situation.
2007-02-02 22:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jay K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think men get equal say on this issue.
if a female doesn't want an abortion and has one she must face the physical consequences and emotional problems. some commit suicide after a forced/coerced abortion and there can be serious physical complications
and
if she doesn't want one she must suffer through the phyisical pain and discomfort (a male can do nothing to help her) and she will be forced to care for a child after nine months. she must also curb her lifestyle (what you eat, drink, your activities, ect) and she'll have to take maternity leave- although it illegal to deny her her time off, she will be months behind other workers
its not a man's body and he doesn't have to face consequences like a woman does
2007-02-03 15:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. The pregnancy is a matter of her body exclusively, so nobody has a right to force her to terminate the pregnancy and to intervene in other person's body issues.
Anyway, I see this is not your friend's case. It does not mean she is ab*itch just because she decided to postpone her motherhood. From your letter I see she left the chance to have children in the future. Please, don't give the advices to anybody to leave his-her partner.
2007-02-03 01:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by Aurora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am blown away by the effort your friend is going through to try to have this child. He seems to so supportive, loving and really wants it and I think it is so unfair that she is going to have an abortion because of a career! I don't know what the laws are there, but here 14 weeks is too far along to abort a baby anyhow. If she goes through with it I don't think that their relationship will work out. She seems pretty selfish and I'm sure this will show your friend just how much!
2007-02-02 22:34:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋