My boyfriend thinks I'm lazy because all I do is go to school. But I'm taking 16 hours and my parents are paying for my education and told me I didn't have to work. I am financially dependent on them until I graduate. He doesn't understand that school is so hard because he dropped out and has also been working his whole life and put himself through what schooling in college he did take. He complains that I am lazy simply because I have more free time than he does, but if I got a job it would put a strain on my class work and I cannot afford to do bad in school because this is my last semester. How can I get him to stop thinking I am lazy?
2007-02-02 22:03:50 · 10 answers · asked by toratracker 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It isn't laziness. Your parents want you to devote your time to school, and if that's what you're doing you're giving yourself the best chance of doing as well as possible. You're right - people who take on too much often drop out.
Its nice that your parents can support you, and you shouldn't feel lazy.
Tell your boyfriend that this is how you and your parents have agreed you will deal with school. You don't want to hear about being "lazy" any more because by saying that he is 1) wrong, 2) insulting and 3) critical just because you are not doing things the way he has chosen to do them. Tell him you don't think its funny that he makes that remark and you don't want to hear it any more.
When parents put their children through college (which is the normal thing for parents to do when they are at all able to do it) they want their son or daughter to have a situation that is most likely to allow them to do well in school, stay in the school, and graduate (and maybe go to graduate school after that).
When you have parents who want more than anything for you to get that education and who believe that you will be working full-time soon enough after graduation you have parents who are doing what many wish they could do for their children.
If he's been working all his life bully for him; but he's the one who had to drop out of school, and you're the one who is about to graduate. So nicely explain to him that when he has some evidence to prove that your working just to make him feel better will make your school grades improve or otherwise make your life better in the long run you'll be willing to admit you're wrong; but until that happen, it looks pretty much like your way works better than his.
2007-02-02 22:18:18 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same exact issue with my boyfriend. I was a full time student and my parents supported me till the day I graduated.
My situations was worse because he had gone to school as well and worked on the side! So he never agreed with me...
Guess what? One year before I was about to graduate I dropped school for 2 semesters and got a job just to prove to him I'm not lazy... BIG MISTAKE! now he was on my a ss about the job I had taken (real estate) which he didn't approve of.
Anyway, long story short, I've learned to ignore him. If I am fortunate enough that my parents can support me through school and he wasn't, that's not my problem and I shouldn't have to prove myself to him.
Stick to school and don't let anything distract you. The money you'll be making as a college graduate beats all the little jobs you may get right now just to shut his mouth...
If he doesn't like the situation, he can either change himself or hit the road! NOTHING is worth getting distracted from school.
YOU ARE NOT LAZY!
2007-02-02 22:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Shelley S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is he to judge you? Just because he's your boyfriend, doesn't mean he has the right to label you. Instead of complaining he should be more supportive. Going to school isn't ALL you are doing so don't make it seem so trivial. You are working hard at your education and that certainly doesn't mean you're lazy. If you have your life figured out and it's working out for you then good for you! You don't need to justify your actions to him or anybody. If you have more free time than he does, so what? You probably deserve it. His remarks are petty and trivial and it's not his decision. You're doing just fine so stay your course. Soon you will graduate and this whole thing will be in the past. Then you can show your gratitude to your family, and to those who helped you along the way, by being the successful person they meant for you to be.
2007-02-02 23:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand where you are coming from. I am also taking 16 hours and don't work. I would try to talk to him about it because you are not lazy you are getting an education and making better of yourself than he is. My bf did the same thing..and i talked to him about it and let him know how I felt about him saying those things. Just because you have more free time doesn't mean you are lazy..he should understand that and be more supportive of you and understand how important your college is because that determines your future career. If i were you I would just talk to him about it...if that didn't work then get rid of him and find someone who supports you.
2007-02-02 22:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by MB 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he should understand better than anyone the difficulty of school being that he dropped out. I joined the Army after highschool to avoid doing more full time school, but in a few months I am going to finish out my college and I am more worried about how hard that is going to be, rather than how hard my next field exercise will be. I think he is just jealous that your parents can support you through your school. I was of my friends who didn't have a job until they graduated, but they really do work hard now, so it didn't spoil them.
2007-02-02 22:09:10 · answer #5 · answered by Tuco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not lazy as long as you are getting good grades in school. Your parents want a better life for you and college is the way. Explain that to him and be ready for when you graduate to get a good paying job.
2007-02-02 22:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by peanutbulls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't be putting you down like this in the first place but what you need to do is explain exactly what you just did to us, to him. Tell him that free time is important for the physological health of all people, especially during the stressful times of study for school. Explain to him that you need that free time to relax, unwind and destress so you can face another day of school and you'd really like it if he'd support you instead of guilt tripping you.
2007-02-02 22:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by caz15th 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could be taking it out on you for his short comings. the fact that you can finish school and he couldn't. the old male ego thing. he could be insecure and feeling that you will move on to bigger and better things and leave him behind one day. stick with it, you've come to far to quit now, you'll have plenty of time to work soon enough. good luck.
2007-02-02 22:14:34 · answer #8 · answered by car dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what you say or do hes not going to change his view! Some people think they are the busiest in the whole world. :))
2007-02-02 22:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Rockin Ajax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is jealous because you have it better than he does if he really cared he would be happy for you.
2007-02-02 22:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋