another baby after 9 year gap?

Question

my two boys are 11 and nearly nine and our baby is due in may.
i was always great with my boys when they were babies but feel a bit nervous about will i be able to cope and will i know what to do.. sounds daft i know.. has any one else left this gap and how were things different for you being that bit older..

Answer 1

I had an eleven year gap between my two "families". It worked well, the boys loved their little sisters.
However I did find tht I didn't have enough time for my boys and I missed things with them because I was busy with the babies. Do make sure you spend enough time with your bigger children who need you, often as much as your baby will. I missed school plays, parent teacher meetings and I only found out that my son was the captain of his rugby team 10 years later!
But I was a much better mother second time around. Much more patient and tolerant, better tempered, too. More relaxed.

Answer 2

I had 7 years between my first & second child. I must say i had forgotton the exhaustion & had also led myself to believe that since i was older & wiser the baby would be a cinch - well i was wrong. I'd just forgotton the hard work of a new baby. I must say that i enjoyed the experience alot more being more mature & being in a more secure relationship. I had another baby 8 months ago (nearly 4 years after the last) & i was totally prepared, much more patient & finally feel i have perfected the motherhood thing. Having an older child is very helpful & they understand things more & don't get as jelous & resentful.

Answer 3

Although I'm not in this situation myself, my husband, friend, aunt, and cousin are all "bonus" babies after a long gap.

The only thing that was different about their upbringing, from what I understand, is that their parents were very permissive and spoiled them profusely, some with relatively no negative results, some with very negative results.

Feeling nervous and trying to cope with a new baby can be challenging but if you can build yourself a good support system (like speaking to your husband or family members about what it was like to have the others), then you will get through it (and you're not daft!).

As for your older children, remember that even though they are older, they are not obligated to take care of this new baby. A lot of complaints from the bonus babies' siblings comes from the fact that their parents made them take care of the smaller child and they became resentful. The older kids can definitely help, but remember they are kids, too :)

Answer 4

There's an 8 yr gap between my sons and they get on fine most of the time also I am a lot more relaxed than when I was younger the only problem found is when going to theme parks ie them wanting to go on different rides

Answer 5

Well I have a bigger gap. I have a 21 year old daughter, a 19 year old son, a 15 year old daughter and my son just turned 1 year three weeks ago. I am 39 years old and my new baby is the greatest thing that ever happened to us. It has made me feel younger. You will do fine and congratulations to you.

Answer 6

My (only) brother is almost 14 years younger than me. There were no probs...
Well sometimes when I was babysitting him he wouldn't give me as much authority as to mum, because I am "just" his sister so in his mind we are "equal".
But since your older children are boys, I don't expect any problems. The baby will look up to them, even when he/she is older.

As for you... I'd say caring for a baby is like riding a bicycle - once you know how to do it you can't forget it. My mom didn't have any problems whatsoever. Actually she says she was much happier and less stressed and not as fussy with my brother - because of her experience with her older children (ie me).
It also wasn't difficult for me to learn to change nappies and entertain small babies at the age of 14.

Best of luck ;-)

Answer 7

Good luck!
The new baby will be so spoilt!!
When I was born my youngest sibling was 16.

Do you know if you will have a boy or a girl yet? I found that older brothers take much pride in looking after there little sister.

Answer 8

My eldest was 8 when I had my second, EVERYTHING was different, ie sleep on front not tummy, do not use duvet in cot!!!!
I was very nervous too!
But once I held the baby in my ams everything came back naturally, & I got on ok!
My second is 8 now & I'm now looking after my 1 yr old nephew, & things are all different with him, but we're getting on ok
Good Luck with yr new baby

Answer 9

No problem with that at all !

The older children will be a BIG help to you !
My mum had my sister when i was 15 .....i am now 28 and she is 13 ....we have a great relationship ( i help her with her period and personal sister stuff) .....it's fun !
Plus i can't believe everyone is that immature when were young lolol
Hope this helps you - good luck with your new cute bundle of joy
You will also love how protective they are over the new little one !!

Answer 10

My friend had a 12 year gap between hers. she had two more after him! He was really helpful though, he was able to help out with the babies so it wasn't too bad.