Adding new people to the mix seems like a very exciting idea....In theory....I would like to hear from people who have tried swinging...How do you deal with the aftermath? I am a jealous person and fear that I might not be able to handle it....Jealousy, insecurity and all those fun emotions....How can I prepare myself mentally?
2007-02-02 20:53:27 · 23 answers · asked by Wicked_One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The key thing is COMMUNICATE with each other. Be honest and understanding of one anothers desires.
Jealousy is going to be a difficult hurdle to overcome though but take a minute to read this article...
http://www.swingersboard.com/?swing=jealousy
While you are on that site, read the advice column and hopefully it will answer a ton of your questions and concerns, it did for us!
If you'd like to chat about such things with a real swinger, contact me and I'll answer your questions.
2007-02-02 22:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ms.Jen, I do know how you feel, having a toddler will really take all of your energy,esp. if the two of you work for a living. Just know that you are not alone ,because there's a lot out there that's having the same problem. I have 3 and work full time as well, so let me see what I can share with you. Do you have baby sitter where she can take your toddler for the evening,or even one of your family,maybe his??Maybe the two of you doesn't have the same days off,so all that you can do will be for the evening,yes? How about you and your hubby plan to have a bubble bath together, and by doing that you can spice things up by putting a few candles inside your bedroom, bathroom by the tub, and maybe a soft music that the two of you can listen to while in the tub?? Yes I know that the two are dead tired but sharing a bubble bath,no lights just candles will put some romance to the two of you, then you may want to have a glass of wine, so it will relax you two but at the same time,you will feel sexy and your husband will get the big picture of what's mught happen.Try this and see if it helps both of you and just make sure that your toddler will be with friend or member of the families,.........goodluck to the two of you!!
2016-05-23 22:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't sound like this is a good idea for you. If you haven't already, try some other ways of spicing it up first. Try role-playing or dominant / submissive games... get some restraints or toys that you can try out with each other. Throwing another person into the mix is only going to make a bad situation worse.
If you are still going to try adding a new person (or people) into the mix, sit your husband down first and have a long talk about faithfulness, and make sure when things are going on, he understands the need to be yours first. Whatever you do, have fun and good luck!
2007-02-02 20:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by thebobcatreturns 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whose idea was this. yours or his? and if you are a jealous person, expect for that jealousy to surface strongly when you see your husband liking what happening with someone else. my advice is dont go there it will only bring hurt and resentment between you all, the best thing. would be fantasize. that way as you all talk and pretend it will bring the heat and spice into your bed but not actually with real players, in fantasy you can have as many other poeple there as you want without them actually being there, leaving most the jealousy out of it. Then if you learn through fantasizing that you think you might really want to do these things . then go ahead , but i myself dont think it a good idea. God didnt intend us to bring others into our marriage bed, or He wouldnt have made marriage between two partners.
2007-02-02 21:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by genaNga 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a a jealous person DONT F'N doing it... you will never live it down, it will always be in your mind, my g/f and I tried that, and it ruined our relationship cause she couldn't handle the fact I had been with another girl, and right in front of her, and she though I was still doing things with this other girl without her, even though I hadn't even talked to her since. It was fun for the few hours it lasted but the aftermath is not worth it.
2007-02-02 20:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by Wsdm 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop for a minute and imagine yourself walking in on your husband having sex with another woman... Now think about actually setting yourself up to be in the room where something like this is going to happen. There are so many emotional bombs that surround something like this.There are plenty of ways to spice things up without being unfaithful (even if you have your partners permission, sleeping with someone else is still being unfaithful.
2007-02-03 13:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by Vickie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!
Never turn outside a marriage to fix what needs to be done inside. If you need to spice things up why not get to know each other all over again.
Go on the "1st date" again and so on, that's what we did and it worked. Over time people change so sometimes it can help to get to know each other all over.
Buy a sexy outfit and do something unprdictable. I'm sure this will be the better option. Best of luck!!
2007-02-02 21:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fantasy is called just that for a reason- it's fantasy! Maybe try role playing or something with just the 2 of you, or else you could end up hurting not only your relationship with him, but your reputation, and friendships can get ruined as well. If you do go through with it, remember to use protection because there is alot of nasty stuff out there, just food for thought!
2007-02-03 02:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by Leo_Woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have known at least a 12 people who did that, not one of them is together. Most often one left the other for the 3rd person in the bed.
2007-02-02 21:51:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister and her x husband did this. They brought in another woman. Whenever an argument arose, her husband would bring it up and hold it against her and call her names and accuse her of being a lesbian and the such. She couldn't even be trusted with her best friend from high school anymore. Needless to say they split up, not cause of this, but my sister is convinced it did not help the relationship.
2007-02-02 21:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by Mt ~^^~~^^~ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋