What do you think about teen marriage? Why?

Question

I'm almost 18 years old, and I've been in relationships somewhere around 20-30 guys. (They call them relationships. I do not. I think they were 'flings') Is it normal for me to want to settle down and get married to the guy I've been seeing for 8 months?

I don't actually care what you say, because we're getting married anyway. But I'm just curious about what people think.

Sometimes I worry that I actually am going to ruin his life. Half of me wants to hire someone to convince him NOT to marry me, because he has never had a real relationship. And I was his first everything.

I want him to experience life before we get married. So that 10 years from now, he won't hate me forever for ruining his youth.

But he is very mature, and very stubborn. And he keeps insisting that he wants to experience life with me.
So I say, give him what he wants. And if he wants out, then we can get divorced.

Answer 1

go ahead get married. oh yeah. its for you. well see you here crying your eyes about the divorce.

Answer 2

I thinky our never too young to marry. I married my husband when I was 19, I, like you, dating a lot of people before meeting him and he had never even had a girlfriend, I would recomend one thing though, live together a little while before getting married so theres no surprises. But let me tell you one thing, the first year of Marriage is really hard but work through it becasue it will get better and it's worth all the while. And when other people start bitching because "you are too young" to get married or "you havent been dating that long" just block it out becasue you know what kind of relationship you have with your boyfriend, they dont!and if it's what you both want and you love each other go for it. And if in the end if you get a divorce look at is as something new you learned but dont let it ruin the rest of your life becasue you can always marry again.

Answer 3

LOL Well, you're 18 and you can spell... This is a good sign! I love the way you worded the question, I couldn't have said it better myself. "They call them relationships, I think they were flings" LOL - I feel the same about many of my past "relationships"; it was a lot of fun, I just didn't feel the need to be gravely serious about relationships all the time. I don't think most people in their teens know much about relationships or marriage... But perhaps you know more than most. I don't see what would be wrong with getting married if it feels to you like it's the right thing to do. And to all the nay-sayers who throw their arms up in the air and talk about divorce - sure, there's a chance that any marriage (regardless of age) may end in divorce. But when you're young, you're in a better position to correct your mistakes, even if they do happen. I myself got married at 18, and I had no clue at all what marriage was all about. Naturally, we got divorced. Now that I'm 30+, I finally feel like I know myself a little better, and I just got re-married, this time for good I hope. But I don't regret my decision at 18 - it seemed like a good idea at the time. Congrats.

Answer 4

I've never heard someone who is not even married yet volunteer divorce as such a ready option. I think you have to decide if you take marriage seriously. If not and you're already consgned to live life like the ever marrying and divorcing Elizabeth Taylor then it probablby doesn't matte what you do. Second, did you say 20 - 30 guys and you are 18? Last, the guy you're with ... you know guys are really horny at that age (at any age but mostly that age) understand that his pee pee is doing most of the thinking for him.

Answer 5

I met my husband at 18 and married at 21. We've been married for 22 years, and as much as I love him, and our life together, I just wish I had NOT gotten married so young. We went through such a major change in our thinking, maturity, and life skills during our 20's, and it's amazing that we made it through! Give yourself and him the chance to experience your 20's. Marriage is tough, (just read this catagory), and you want to pick the right person, for the right reasons. Who you are right now will not be the person you are in 10 years. Give yourself the chance to have your own place, finish school, or continue school. Have a life by yourself before you get married.

Good luck with whatever you choose. If you do decide to get married, please don't have children for at least 5 years. Buy a house, travel and get to know your spouse before you bring a child into the world.

Answer 6

Just because your a teen doesn't mean it won't work out. But I would suggest to get pre-marriage counseling just so you both can help prepare yourself for things that you haven't thought about. They don't try to talk you out of getting married but they inform you of what you both can do to help build a strong marriage. They see people in divorces all day long and now a days some states won't even let you get a divorce without 6 months of marriage counseling if there are minor children involve. So if you two have kids and things don't work out you may have to go anyway. Better to go before and learn what you can do to help have a strong and lasting relationship then to think this won't happen to you because your so in love. So where all the people getting divorce and they thought the same thing.

Answer 7

I wouldn't say that was the healthiest thing...but sometimes it's right when it doesn't seem like it would be. I will caution you that marriage is hard even when you love the person and I think that's what makes it hard. You have made up your mind but just do this one simple thing...write down every little stupid thing that has upset or bothered you about your fiance'. This is what your marriage will be like for the rest of your life...if you have no red flags, good luck and congrats to you and if you have red flags, reconsider or I will just bid you good luck. Take care and don't rush anything at 18...I am 28 and wish I would have taken my time since I have so many years ahead of me and wish I had made different choices.

Answer 8

I'm the kind of person who speaks my mind, and calls things as I see it. So I'm going to be straight with you, ok?

First of all, those 20-30 guys certainly were not "relationships", and that is quite a few guys to have been with at age 17. Given the fact that they were not relationships, that tells me that you have not experienced a relationship yet to any degree, and that makes you new to it.

Now, you're considering marriage. Marriage is a relationship. A partnership. A covenant for life. You're entering this relationship with no experience whatsoever. That would be like going for a high tech job with no education or work experience behind you.

8 months is hardly enough time to get to know someone, nevertheless commit to them for a lifetime. You're staking everything based on what you feel right now, or what you "think" you know right now. And you're taking a really big chance.

Legal marriage is not the same as, "Well, it didn't work out with the boyfriend, so move on." It's not that easy. Wish it was, but I'm telling you, it's not. If this relationship, turned marriage, does not work out for you, you are going to be involved in one of the most hurtful situations you will ever go through. I know of no one who EVER had a good divorce. They hurt you, they hurt him, and if you have children, that ruins them for life, and it hurts both families. Alot of people suffer because of rash decisions, and I honestly think you're making one.

You state, " I don't care what people say, we're getting married anyway." Well, that tells me that your mind is made up, regardless of whether or not you get good advice or not. It tells me that you've chosen not to listen to reason and you're going to do as you wish. It would be unfortunate if this "marriage" did not last, and worse yet, if there was a child brought into this picture, because the future for you would not look very bright. And you will be reminded of my words later on. I don't wish that for you, and implore you to wait to get married, when both of you are out of school, financially stable, and able to support yourselves. If you do not, I don't see this working out at all. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but improbable.

Re-think what you're doing. And do the right thing NOW, before you have to pay for your hasty decisions LATER.

Best wishes.

Answer 9

I think you should not get married when you are that young.
what you want when you were 18 might not be in your late 20s
live life. also most teen marriages do not make it. I know guy
who got married at 18 WAS married for 21 years.. makes you
think what happens when you grow up will you sitll be married to that person. will you still be inlove after 20 years?. If you say yes get married then and be happy life is to short.

Answer 10

Teen marriages are usually a big mistake. It is too big of a decision for people who can't decide what they want to wear for school let alone who they think they want to spend the rest of their life with. You aren't expecting it to work or you wouldn't already be talking about a divorce within 10 years. But go ahead as you said you have already made your mind up and beside being a teenager you already know everything. It's not til you get to your mid twenties that you set back and realize that you aren't near as smart as you once thought you were. Trust me I know.

Answer 11

Don't do it,you'll both be sorry...20-30 guys wow!!! you'll end up cheating on him,I know u don't care what I think but sounds like you've got a lot of miles on u already an your only 18!!! maybe he wants a teacher lol. it doesn't sound like your in-Love...do u know what that is? Love is not a fling.