Im so scared last night mum said that her and dad were seperateing but i said they couldnt (a heat of the moment thing I hope) but i cried for about 3 hours. I think dad is cheating on mum. But i dont want hem to divorce and im so scared, and i cant talk to my friends about it. Im a 13 year old girl. I really dont want them to but im so scared i dont want them to separate. They will have been married 19 years this july. Im so scared and i dont know what to do. Please help. Are there any ways i can cope better????
2007-02-02 19:55:18 · 6 answers · asked by louisngene_r_cool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's understandable that you are scared ....that is a really hard thing for you. I think being able to talk to your parents is important and realize that the cause has nothing to do with you....it is between the two of them. It would really help you to cope to find someone close to you that you can talk to....a close relative, a pastor, etc. that is not involved, that won't take sides, but will listen to your concerns which are real.
Sometimes separating just gives your parents time to think things thru. And sometimes they might go to a counselor which would help them both...they might consider it if you ask them to try it....but realize it is out of your control....just love them both and try not to take one side or the other.
As a Christian, I would also say "pray for them"...if you believe in prayer....then ask for others to pray, too. God can change things. And I don't know you, but I'll pray for them too. ...and for you.
2007-02-02 20:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First stay clam about it. If their just separating then maybe they just need to have some time apart to figure out what's cause them to have the problems they have and they could work things out. Being separated only means that, it doesn't mean a divorce. Many people sometimes begin to have different ideas and different opinions about things and they just need to see if they can work through some rough time. If they decide to divorce then as hard as it will be for you just remember that their feelings for you will never change. They both will still love you no matter what. And it won't mean that you'll never get to see the other parent again. You want them to be happy and if they can't be happy together then that might be what they need to do. It will get better in time but the best thing you can do for them is to pray and ask God to have his will at what he thinks is best for your parents.Then except what happens and be glad he answered your pray for the better. He can see things we can't and he will watch over you and your parents.
2007-02-02 20:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you are in such a tough spot. Your having to grow up quicker than you should and that not fair to you.
Understand that both your parents are hurting badly right now. Also understand that they are both going to be worried about the impact this is having on you. I'd suggest you take time with each of them and give them each a hug and have a good long cry.
Try not to blame either of them (and definately don't blame yourself). Marriage is a complex thing and its easy to blame things on one parent or the other. The truth is often not so black and white. Hopefully they won't but, if they try to get you to pick sides, simply tell them to work things out themselves cause its not your job to be score keeper.
I'd give you a long hug if I was there.
2007-02-02 20:17:27 · answer #3 · answered by Future Focused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, please remember that this is not your fault. Cheating is most certainly not okay! And your mum has to do what is best for herself as well as her family. My parents are also divorced. Do not let this mess up the relationship with either of your parents. Remember that this is between the two of them....it is not anything that you did. You're going to be okay. At least both of your parents are still here! It will be okay.
2007-02-02 20:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to your friends(Best friends) im shure they have the same thing going on!
Everybodys been through their parents fighting!!
and MIGHT have a way to get them back togher!!
they know WAY beter than any1 on here!!(no affence)
they know what you would want!!
SO I'd talk to them!!!
OMG... ok theres nothing you can do about your parents but you can decide who you want to stay with!!!
2007-02-02 20:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for both of them. they may separate but they will still be in your life. you start concentrating on your life. school, thinking about a career, make lots of money, and then husb. and kids.
2007-02-02 20:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by ill take it straight with no ice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋