Before my father died of cancer I thought there would be time to reconcile. With whom would you want to make?

Question

amends with before it is too late? I always think of the song " In the Living Years." Sometimes life comes at you fast, and sometimes death does too.

Answer 1

Sometimes we alienate for reasons we think are justified without delving deeper into why.
It took me almost a lifetime to realize my parents were products of their upbringing. A more stricter and unkind period than most of us would ever experience.
When I came to that realization, I started to forgive and love again. It was almost too late and I do wish I would have had more time to talk to them about things that were really important.

And sometimes, even though efforts are made to reconnect with a parent or family member, it just isn't possible to reconcile.
As long as you can close that door without beating yourself up and having feelings of guilt.
Some things just cannot be fixed.

Answer 2

A little while ago, I was inspired to make amends with everyone in my life that I had done wrong or needed to say something to. So I wrote them all letters and that was enough. Nobody really reacted in the way I wanted but that's selfish of me right? To actually expect a certain response when you pour your heart out... I guess just the act of doing it meant more than anything else. I said what I needed to say.

I can honestly say that there is nobody in my life right now that I need to make amends with. They already know how I feel...

I guess the only person left is myself. I haven't forgiven myself for many things. I constantly berate myself. I hate who I was. I'm trying right now to make amends but it's not really working out. I don't know why. Maybe I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. Or I don't even know. To tell you the truth, I'm working on building my relationship with God because maybe that will help. Maybe I won't feel so empty inside all the time. And that really pisses me off because there are millions of people in this world that are going through real suffering. I'm a selfish person, I guess. But I'm working on it.

Answer 3

My sincere regards. God knows all about it. Make it right in your heart with Him if you haven't already then forgive yourself.

Well, sometimes you do all you can and the other party won't meet you half-way. Difficult call there but if I were on my deathbed, I'm sure more things might come to mind as loose ends to tie up. Mostly family I think.

You are right. Thanks for reminding me of the lesson which I also learned from grieving over loved ones lost to cancer and other deaths. At least they were ready to go meet God when they died and I have hopes of seeing them again if I stay ready. Maybe I'll humble down and take all the blame and make those calls tomorrow!!
God bless.

Answer 4

I would spend my time reconciling any feelings that you have with our FATHER in Heaven. HE is a great person to speak with about every problem that you have. You should begin reading, studying, and obeying HIS WORD also.

Study these scriptures and see what you think. To become a Christian:
HEAR - Romans 10:14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?
BELIEVE - In Mark 16:16, Jesus said “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.”
REPENT - Luke 13:3 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.
CONFESS CHRIST - 1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
BE BAPTIZED - Romans 6:3-4 do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
CONTINUE TO BE FAITHFUL - Jesus said in Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”
Send me a note if you have questions. I am anxious to hear from you. Have a Great day.
Eds

Answer 5

There's no one. My father passed and I hadn't seen or talked to him since I was 17. I was 26 when he died. I've heard that my mothers health is failing now. 7 years ago I reached out to her to make amends for the hurt that she'd caused me after 12 years of not speaking to her to "reconcile" and she was as accepting and polite as possible from December 24th to December 31st. I was moving and my house wasn't ready yet and we had to go somewhere for about 5 hours and since my mothers house was just up the street my brother in law took me and my kids there thinking as I did that we would be welcomed. My mother saw me and got up and went into the other room, put on a sweater and walked out. Then my sister comes out of the room cussing her husband saying that he was messing in something that wasn't his business and I stopped her telling her that he didn't know anymore than I did that me and my kids would not be welcomed there. All my mother had to do was say so. The whole "family holiday" was a fake. A crock , they were acting JUST because it was Christmas! Nothing had changed and I haven't spoken to her since. I wouldn't try to be friendly with her again because it'd be as fake now as it was then. Just because she believes she'll pass soon she's been telling others that she wants to see all of her children again. (She's also alienated one of my brothers and he hasn't spoken to her since he was 27 and he's 46 now.) That's as bad as being nice just because it's Christmas. I won't go through that again. If she passes I'll grieve because she's my mother. I won't attend her funeral since she hated me so and I wouldn't want her or any of her children to come to mine. I live alone without them then I choose to be buried the same way. I am not fake.

Answer 6

I think that your father can see you and knows that life is too short to carry guilt. my suggestion is to make a mends with yourself, forgive him and you and know he forgives also. don't carry guilt it's too heavy.