How do I get rid of my negative self-talk?

Question

All the negative words my dad use to say to me as a dumb boy, I now repeat them each time I feel stupid.

Answer 1

Self-talk and Stress
Self–talk refers to the dialogue that goes on inside your head when faced with conflict or life challenges or even simple day-to-day concerns. This aspect of yourself has a running commentary about everything you do. It never lets anything go by with out some comment, remark or evaluation.
Becoming aware of this process is the first step in taking charge of this part of yourself that can create a lot of unnecessary stress. The automatic reactions you have to this constant barrage of negative thoughts, judgments and evaluations can keep you feeling stressed and less able to meet life’s challenges.

You’ll recognize these thoughts because you have heard them all your life; I'm not smart enough, something is wrong, I can't do it, I never finish anything, this is too hard, change takes too long, etc. You may have initially formed these negative ideas about yourself from things you heard initially from a parent, teacher or someone who was in authority over you or they were decisions you made in reaction to some event. Now, as an adult you have incorporated them into your own personality. In effect you don't need those people to tell you what to do anymore, they are living inside your own head!!!

These thoughts surface when you are faced with doing something that is counter to what your mind thinks you can do, or has a negative opinion about. Think back over some times that your own ideas or thoughts about what you could or could not accomplish got in the way of something you really wanted.

Okay...knowing that, now what?
This internal monologue is present in everyone. The bad news...there is no getting rid of it. The good news...you can learn how to manage your mind so that it is your servant and you are the master, not the other way around.

First...awareness. You must become aware of the inner dialogue. Begin to notice when it shows up, what it is telling you. You will have to be vigilant at first. You think that voice is you. It isn't. The fact that you can discuss it means that it is something that you do, not who you are. Begin to pay attention to what you think. Observe it without buying into what your mind is telling you. See if you can start to recognize the repetitive nature of the thoughts.

Second...you don't HAVE to react to the thoughts your mind presents you. It is a habit you can break with awareness. The moment you notice that it is just a THOUGHT and not a COMMAND you have a choice. You are in touch with your "observing self". That gap or moment of awareness allows you to notice the thought and CHOOSE to do what you have always done or CHOOSE to do something different.

Start with observing how often you listen to “your mind”. Remember, change takes time

Answer 2

You may be curious to learn that you have a volume control and a tone control for your internal negative voice.

You should try them out.

Firstly, when you find yourself repeating words to yourself in a negative stream of criticism, turn the volume control off. That's right. Off. I don't know where your volume control is located, whether it's a knob, a slider or a dial, but I do know that you'll begin to feel better once you've turned that control down to 0 and told the voice to 'shut the %$^& up'.

Secondly, when you repeat the words to yourself, I already know that they come out in a voice other than your own. Listen to it. You may be curious to discover that the tone of the voice has a certain power over you. Now find your tone control. One of the settings on the tone control is your dad. Another is your favourite comedian. A third is a silly high pitch voice with no power whatsoever over you. There are also many more settings. Turn the tone control to whatever voice you find has the least impact on you when it says those nasty words. Try a few settings. As you wipe the tears of laughter away, you will be delighted to discover that when your favourite comedian uses those words they make you feel like you're having a really good time, because, as you'll discover, it's the tone of the voice that makes you feel horrible, not the words at all.

Remember to adjust whichever dial works best for you next time the silly inner voice starts on you, and after a few times you'll be delighted to discover that any power it had over you has vanished.

Answer 3

Dont ever repeat negative words said to you even long time ago or immediately (that is born again Christian view point) becuase it will hurt you. Think of your good point. Look at the mirror often. Make Jesus your best friend and no other even your dad.Jesus said, "dont receive condemnation. He had forgiven you of your stupidity already. Also the one saying negative feels exactly the effect of the neg. word uttered. If you dont accept it, it will revert to the talker. That is spirit transfer. Use principle of substitution. If you think negative change it to posiive.Think also how your Dad showed love to you. Did he ever say i Love You, sonny?
even once?

Answer 4

OOOOOOH, I GET it, that's why you act like such a moron, it's your fathers fault!! Here's a sample of your OTHER work........

"To be a homo isn't environmentally fit. If the world were full of homo's than humans would eventually become extinct. Homosexuality is probably a disease or a disorder, because although they are born homo's, they still have a penus. What are penus's for people!!!! There for Vaginas you stupid homo's!!!!"

First of all you can't spell, secondly you're a bigot.

Answer 5

its a bad habit. habits take 21 days ( 3 weeks) to get out of, so dont say bad things for 3 wks and you should stop. everyone feels stupid sometimes though, ur not alone. good luck. think positive!

Answer 6

Take the negative, turn it around and use it to empower yourself.

Answer 7

thank before u speak