Im a milirary wife and i have an awful hard time dealing with my hubby being away - how do other wifes deal -?

Question

Hes been gone since jan of 06- and i am still so depressed he just came home for a brake 2 weeks ago and left recently .....

i cant seem to get used to and i am so depressed - we dont have chrildren so i dont have anyone to take care of ....

i try to stay busy but nothing helps !


Any Advice?

Answer 1

I can only tell you what helps me as a fellow military spouse. If your DH's unit has a Family Support/Readiness Group check it out. It's amazing how much those groups can help during deployments. These are all people going through the same thing you are at the same time you are. If you have a good group, you'll have events to attend to get you all together and pass the time. If you really want to get involved, helping plan an event or taking an active roll in running the group can help pass the time. And helping others can keep your life in perspective. I know sometimes the groups get a bad reputation for being snobby but try yours before you make that judgement.

If the family group isn't active or your unit is too spread out to have one, you might try online support. Yahoo Groups sometimes has military branch groups, base groups, unit specific groups, area military spouse groups.... Requirements for joining are set up by the person who started the group so they vary. I always look to see if there's a group for a new area whenever we move. It gives me a chance to ask questions of people in that area before we get there. Yahoo is only one place to look for groups like that. The only thing when using online groups is to be careful with what information you put out. When you get a close group, it can get easy to forget about security rules and operational secrecy.

You can also check with your base to see what services they offer. I know our base Fleet and Family Service Center (Navy, btw) offers counseling and support group meetings. Any base should have someone willing to answer questions even if you're not assigned there or even a member of that service.

Also, you can get counseling sessions covered by Tricare. I don't know what the details are for other branches or if they differ for reserve units but you could look into that. http://www.militaryonesource.com/skins/MOS/home.aspx might be a good starting place for that information.

Whatever you do, don't ignore the signs of depression. It's totally normal to feel that way, especially if he just returned to his unit. But if it isn't getting better, make sure you have a plan. Don't let it get so bad that you harm yourself or others.

Sending prayers and wishes that you feel better soon and stay strong so that you can provide support to your DH.

Answer 2

I have been a military wife for 12 years, and I know it takes a strong trusting relationship to make-it.
Do you have a family support group for his unit? Join clubs, I love the YMCA. I always try and have a big surprise for him - as it keeps me busy planning it and I love to anticipate his reaction - this can be anything, remodelling a room, toning up, or learning a new skill.
Believe me it does get easier, and when he comes back it will seem like he was never gone.

Answer 3

I don't have a good answer for you. But Americans are behind you, at least in spirit. Liberals conservative and all the ones in between. Hang in there and keep your hope up, you folks bearing the brunt of this are frequently in our thoughts. I wish the country did more for you. I also wish I could figure out how to say this right.

Answer 4

Most women are down right giddy when their hubbies have to go overseas, cause that means they get the credit cards, and don't have to put up with their man's bullcrap! lol

Most women spend that time losing weight(so they look good for their man when they return), or redecorating the house, or spending time with female friends, going out and have a few drinks and go dancing with their female friends (good fun).

Wow, I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time with this. Perhaps you should get out more and get yourself some friends so you are not so lonely, hunny!

Take care and *hugs*

Answer 5

i can't imagine what you must be going through or even how you can hold it all together...

there must be some support groups near you...

these are hard times for you, but they won't last forever... hang in there and keep working towards the day he is home for good.

i wish you all the luck and happiness...

Answer 6

get involved with other wives of servicemen, there are groups, keep yourself busy in the community. my brother in law did 22 years in the navy and my sister got involved with organizations through the base and made loads of friends. plus you'll be with others going through the same thing and have a shoulder to 'cry' on. the busier you keep yourself, the less lonely you'll find yourself. good luck, and your sacrifices and your husbands are appreciated, god bless you both!

Answer 7

well my dear good luck we all go through it in our own ways.. as for me i have been an army wife for going on ten years and in ever year he has been deployed.. yes i miss him a lot.. i write to him all the time email and letters.. keep bizzy as much as i can . i cry when i feel like it and i pray a lot.. that's the only way.. good luck..