I had something happen to me when I was younger and ever since then its hard to trust MEN. My boyfriend and I are engaged and I love him but I don't know if I'm ready beacause I can't trust any man. I don't even trust the men in my family. I want to trust him but its so hard. What can I do please help?
2007-02-02 19:06:00 · 13 answers · asked by Jessi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't trust no man with my sisters. Maybe this will help with your answers better. I don't want them hurt at all.
2007-02-02 19:12:30 · update #1
Firstly, if there is no trust in a relationship you shouldn't be together. But because you are this way from something happening to you in your past, that is a different story. Have you told your fiance what happened? If not, explain this to him and maybe you or both of you can get some counselling to help you deal with your issues with trusting men.
I wish you the very best....
2007-02-09 16:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jassie's mum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Individual who hurt you at an earlier age, is no longer in the picture I assume. Hopefully your paths never cross. I can only imagine what you are talking about and yes it would be a terrible thing to forget. I am sure you never will, but you cannot judge all men by what that individual did to you. Do not cheat yourself out of a wonderful life with a man that Loves you, because of what some demented A****** did to you as a child, if you do then he wins. Don't let that happen..
2007-02-10 13:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know you feel in this situation, i have been in your shoes before, and i can gurantee to you it's not a easy choice to make. but look it this way if you don't start trusting any man in your life u may end up the lonelist and miserable person in the world. So just let your fiancee know how you feel and ask and see about maybe the both of u guys seeing a minister or counselor in your area and you both discuss the situation with them and take it from there.
2007-02-10 21:10:45 · answer #3 · answered by stephaniefarkas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look lady if he doesn't want to cheat. so why do you want to hover around and treat him like he does. If he is being treated like he cheats a lot then why not just cheat. I mean your treating him like he does so whats the difference if he does or doesn't. My girlfriend knows i would never cheat. She allows me to go hangout because she knows shes my only girl. Trust is everything if there's no trust in a relationship there is no relation ship. Just remember, listen to me and everything will be alright.
2007-02-10 15:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by stockkiddan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can't trust a man or your BF you probably should not be in a relationship. you need to take care of whatever happened and don't bring it into this new relationship. get counseling if necessary, but resolve the issue and move on.
2007-02-10 22:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by Debt Free! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he given u any reason to not trust him?
i have been cheated on and so much more in my past relationships and i thought i could never trust men ever again but i was wrong.....i have a great bf now that i have been wit for 1 yr n 2 months but i trust him so much becuz he has not given me any reason not to trust him.....think bout it if u luv him and he hasnt given u any reason not to trust u den i say u trust him until he loses that trust.
2007-02-03 03:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to a therapist before you do anything. Marriage is very serious and you need the right tools to make it work. Starting off with issues is not going to make for a lasting relationship. You owe it to yourself and the guy you love. Good luck.
2007-02-03 03:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had trust issues back in the day. its so exhausting worrying about what the other person might do. spare yourself the agony. i use reverse physc on my fiance and tell him to cheat. hes like no way!! how could your even suggest that, i have morals, etc.
2007-02-10 06:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by xtal6872 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go talk to a professional, and to keep your relationship going you should include him in your sessions. So he better understand, and with better understand also comes patience... You will have a great marriage after! Good luck to you
2007-02-03 03:25:33 · answer #9 · answered by IAMGODD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi .... i am very sorry to hear of this problem .... it is sad to me, cuz i was with a girl once that felt as you do ..... I am sorry for what happened in your past ...... truly.
I wish you can know true healing in your heart (it IS possible). It comes first by the willingness to forgive the one who hurt you. I did not say you have to FEEL like forgiving him .... but as long as you are WILLING to forgive him, it will open the door to restoration ..... this is the first step .....
I wish that you would find healing for this situation so that the rest of your days can be full and rich .... instead of having a dark shadow always following you [in your relationships] ....
if you happen to have a Christian background and know something about prayer .... and if you want to be free of the past issue .... then may I please strongly suggest that you locate Dave Cunningham at Rancho Christian Center in Southern California (do a google search for it) ...... he is very safe and very easy to approach and speak with ...... he knows how to navigate these waters that-seem to to be an enigma ....
see .... you are engaged ..... and if you do not resolve this situation, you will bring it with you to this marriage ...... soooooooooo .... i just wish you can take care of this .......
wishing you all the best .......
2007-02-03 03:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋