I've love a guy for 2yrs recently got married he is working as free lance and paid on comission basis and he has not been earning for the past 1 yr my inlaws are the one whom paid for his side of wedding expenses. What make it worst this morning my inlaws told me that he have use company money about 7k... he does not want to find a job or go and work now he has been dismiss as his dad paid full 7k to his company. i've been paying for his car, car expenses and gives him money to spend and he is not helping instead he is adding on to the loan he has. he promise that he wld hange but he did not... I relly need advice on what to do i feel like running aways from him?
2007-02-02 18:51:13 · 13 answers · asked by hanna 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
girl, its for better or worse till death do you part! hope you've not let that pass too soon. Challenges are opportunities to sharpen our skills. The guy is just struggling financially and i guess you had an idea about his financial situation before saying "Yes I do" So, why run now? It cannot be possible that his financial situation crushed in just two months, at least you saw it when your inlaws paid his own part of the wedding expenses.
keep in mind that to be happy does not necessarily mean that everything is fine but rather than you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. It takes hard work to build up a lasting relationship. So, be ready to work, tolerate, love, respect and be patient with your sweetheart. Don't forget to give him a chance to grow.......u know what i mean!!!!
2007-02-02 19:30:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have actually seen this happen twice before. The husband stops working because he has you to go out and earn money. He will never change. And as soon as you can no longer afford to keep up with the bills, he will leave you. You will have to file for bankruptcy and your life will be ruined.
The decision is yours, but I would get a lawyer, then leave. Do not just leave him and still have to pay his debts. Make him pay.
2007-02-02 19:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If love is not an issue then please seek help.Relationship and financial guidance may solve the problems you two have.Running away from problems does not solve them...it just moves problem to different location.Is important to reduce the level of your stress to be effective to resolving current problems.Focus on problem solving and not the problem.If he is not working does he need his car...sell it and rid yourself of that payment.I would only guess that he experiences some degree of depression and perhaps is not motivated to change....he should be encouraged to see doctor. If he is not productive and not sharing in family financial support then at some point you must stop supporting him....to do otherwise will only continue to enable him in not changing.Good-luck.
2007-02-02 19:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by tock522 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do remember your vows right...something about "for richer or poorer"...i'm not saying that you are..but it sounds like you married the man for money that he doesn't have. Before you guys got married, i assumed you loved him for him. He hasn't changed as a person, he's just struggling financially. Behind every good man is a good woman. But try standing Beside him instead, give it some i'm sure everything will work out.
2007-02-02 19:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by tekkentag4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not figure out why you married him but if I were you I'd admit I made a major Boo Boo and RUN!!!! This is the honeymoon period, he is on his best behavior, do you really want to stick around and see his normal self????? Or worse yet bring a child into this marriage??? RUN GIRL RUN!
2007-02-02 19:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blamed yourself for knowing a lousy and useless man to be your husband. Act fast and leave him, start a fresh. Should you continue with this relationship then end of the days you'll the one suffer. Life is fate, no choice. Please get out fast .
2007-02-02 20:06:35 · answer #6 · answered by James Louis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave for a little while (not divorce him) but this way he can see that you will not put up with his games. If he straightens up then it will have gotten through to him, but if he does not change, then you dont need to stay married to someone like that.
2007-02-02 18:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by Brittany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT GIRL!!!! Do it now before everything YOU own becomes community property. They don't change for the better after marriage they get worse.
2007-02-02 19:06:33 · answer #8 · answered by kimberlee g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, get out while you can. this man is not trying to do anything for himself. You will leave with a big debt.
2007-02-02 18:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by michellej 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop paying his car note and giving him spending money. You are his enabler and you need to stop babying him so he'll grow up.
2007-02-02 18:57:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋