How can you determine if your spouse is truly addicted?

Question

To internet p***? I mean what thing would throw up a red flag that it is time to get help?

Please, be very specific. What things would they do?

Answer 1

First and foremost you have to know and believe that if your husband has a sexual addiction, it is in no way your fault or a reflection on you or that you are not sexual enough for him. Sexual addiction is completely 100% his problem and although you have to help support him in getting therapy, it has to be something he wants to seek recovery from. The sexual addict has a very hard time being emotional with real women and chose porn over their spouse because there is no emotional attachment necessary with porn.

You have to look out for yourself in the sense that an SA can start out viewing porn, but can then start spending money on websites, phone sex, prostitues, ect.......... I have been involved with an on line support group for partners of sexual addicts and it is amazing and overwhelming how far into this addiction some men can get. My ex-husband once racked up a phone bill for a few hundred dollars calling sex lines. I have heard of some instances where their addiction got so severe that they lost their homes and jobs because of it., have gone to jail, and that says nothing of the diseases they could bring home if they start fulfilling their fantasies with real ife women.

To know for sure if there is a problem you can look at the history on the computer. You can put up a block on your computer were no porn can be viewed and see what his reaction is to that (you would probably have to purchase that). You can come out and ask him, but most likely will not get the truth. Start watching credit card bills or bank accounts. Walk in on him while he is on the computer. But most of all, just follow your instincts. Most wives know exactly what is going on without hard proof. Their gut tells them that something is not right and almost 99.9% of the time they are correct.

Know that this is a very hard addiction to overcome, but it can be done if the male wants his marriage to stay healthy. Just remember you can not make him seek recovery, this is his illness. Being married and in love with an SA is hell on earth. It can and will destroy your marriage if left on it's own. I would not wish this on anyone. No women deserves to be married to an SA, but sometimes we just can't help who we fall in love with.

Answer 2

As with any addiction, if it interrupts/negatively affect his life he has a problem. You having to ask this question says it does. I've also heard that men can get so addicted to p*** that they can not be with real women anymore.

I hope you have talked to him about it. (Remember to not yell and be accusatory, rather tell him how it makes you feel and what you expect from him.)

I would wait for him to start the computer, but right before he gets to his site and call him over to you. If he choices to be with a computer instead of a real women, I would defiantly lay down the law.

(Don't mean to be so cheesy)

Answer 3

If an activity interferes with the person's daily life, relationships, work, better judgement, common sense - it is an "addiction". Does he miss work because of it? Does he neglect his family? Does it prevent him from functioning normally? Do his relationships suffer? Is he making bad financial decisions due to this habit? Is he unable to control himself? Has his habit taken over his life? All these would be signs of addictive behavior.

Answer 4

sorry i hate to say this and i know yor going to thumbs down me. but I'm not saying this to hurt u or make fun of yor situation in any way.

but for yor husband to addicted to INTERNET porn there is something lacking on yor end. try to switch it up a Lil try some new stuff like toys or when he lest expects it.
but something is wrong weather he just doesn't get it enough or it needs more spice for him to turn to porn to satisfy him self. but u could look at it this way to at least it's not a real person he is with so the love is still there

Answer 5

Spending most of his time with computer.Ask him the things that you are lacking and then try to explore the unknown.

Answer 6

If he wants to spend more time with his p*** , than with you, then he needs to get help.

Answer 7

the spouse don,t what anything what he or she is addicted to do.

Answer 8

if you check the history. and maybe you should make some p*** of your own to get him interested in you again.