Im scared to be a role model?

Question

I moved away from my family when I was 16 due to alot of things i guess you could say and basicly who I am has been far from perfect but My friends tell me they look up to me, and that scares me in a way because I dont know why. Im not trying to brag. It really does confuse me to be looked up to because I dont want people to lessen who they are because of me. When I moved away and came to the town I live in now it seemed to be the same way. Im ashamed to take away peoples glory and scared for people to like me. Im confident yeah and I do like who I am, but it seems people like me too fast and Im not used to that. this must sound ridiculous but alot of people have died in my life and there really has been alot of pain, in a way I feel as though I drove it to happen even if I didnt. Im lost as to whether or not my fear is validated. any opinions?

The thing is that Im not a bad person, or a bad influence, but theres just this fear of hurting people that over rides my thoughts, I dont want to be someone they want to be, I guess I want them to be who they are. thats the only thing you can be in life ya know?

Answer 1

this is a really hard topic, but they way i think is that everyone is a role model wheter they want to be or not. People take different actions and opinions and adopt them as their own not because they cant think of one for themselves but because they agree and believe in it. Think of it like this, if people never looked up to anyone else no one would have respected or recognized Kant and Mill who (some could say) founded a lot of our modern moral theories! Personally, I think it took a lot of courage to move away from your home when you were 16 and I think that is what makes your friends look up to you, your courage. You said you were confident and that is one of the most important things because if you believe in ur actions and opinions then there is no reason you should be afraid someone else might agree with you and believe in you. Dont be afraid; you learn more from life by making mistakes than you learn from doing nothing at all. Hope it helped :)

Answer 2

I don't know your whole story but I think your friends look up to you because leaving home at 16 is very young. You don't say if you lived with friends, other family members or made it on your own. I think what makes you shine in their eyes is the fact that you had the courage to make, what for some adults, is a major decision. You dealt with it and turned out just fine.

Most young people at that age are on the streets getting into all kinds of horrific trouble and some, sadly, are no longer here to experience life and all it has to offer.

You're not taking away people's glory. What would be so wrong with your friends wanting to be like you? You faced a challenge, no doubt scared and a little unsure but you forged ahead and handled whatever ups and downs came your way. We all do that. It's just at that age you did it a little sooner than most people.

People die. One day we all have to go. Dying is a part of life. Unless you picked up a gun or mowed someone down with your car, you are not responsible for anyone's death.

You should be proud of yourself. It's ok to feel a little flattered that people look up to you and maybe have you on a pedestal. It means that deep inside there's a wonderful person who has a lot to offer. Your friends can see that and probably wish they could be just like you. .

Answer 3

You sound as if there is a heavy weight upon your shoulders, Emsqui. Perhaps the thought of losing more loved ones scares you as well.

I don't know who you are at all, so I'm not going to say anything like "I'm sure you're nice" or something, but your friends from where you are now know you well enough to judge your character. If they like you so much and are quick to do so, then perhaps you are worth much more than you think. I imagine that they would not look up to you for no reason. And if the many of your friends feel this way, then ask yourself: can all these people be wrong?

I wonder what you are like. You say you're confident and yet you say "I'm ashamed to take away peoples glory and scared for people to like me." Why is this, Ems? Is it your past that you carry on your shoulders like that? How do you take other's glory from them by them looking up to you?

Let your friends find worth in you. Ask them what they see in you. Your mind seems clouded by your past, but friends' visions are not tainted.

While I do doubt that you are even partly responsible for someone else's tragedies, I don't really know what happened and so I can't say much on that. But I do genuinely want to help, so if you want, msg me and we'll talk.

Either way, your friends look at you and see someone worth looking up to. Take their word for it, and try to lead them to the glory that you feel you are taking away from them.

Answer 4

Though thousands wouldn't agree, I feel your fear is validated. I can relate, everytme somes gets close to me something big and bad happens, whether death, losing their job etc. Everytime I got close to someone they would get into trouble and I felt it was all my fault. Its not and its not your fault either. I deal by keeping people at a distance, which annoys them but I reckon its better than getting them hurt or in trouble.

Answer 5

you said you're confident with yourself. then you must know that those deaths were not your fault. be yourself. you are not perfect, but accept it. and don't blame yourself if people see you as their model. maybe they saw some good in you. and if ever they blame you for their failures or whatever, if you know you are not to blame, then tell them. don't carry unnecessary burden on your shoulder. loosen up.