my sister just left her abusive husband after 8 yrs. what kind of advise would u give her ?so she wont relapse

Question

relapse back to her husband.

we gave up on her about 2 yrs. into her marriage knowing thats where she wanted to be so we waited for her to make her own decision. but i am just afraid for her.

Answer 1

Is there any children from this marriage? If so, the focus should be on the kids and the harm this abusive relationship will cause for them.
No woman or man is on this earth to be someone elses verbal or physical punching bag.
Self worth comes from inside. Go to counseling build your inner strength.

Answer 2

There's really not much you can say. Sometimes words help, sometimes they don't. The best thing for you to do, is take her out somewhere, try to get her to have some fun, and just show her that there's more to the world than the man that she just left behind. Try to keep her busy so that she's not thinking about him all the time. If you can afford to, buy her a new outfit, show her that's she's beautiful and appreciated. Let her know that you love her, and want to see her happy. The worst part of an abusive relationship is the emotional consequences. Men like that tend to make women feel worthless, unattractive, stupid. They say anything they can think of to make the woman feel as though they cant do any better, all to keep her there and willing to put up with the abuse. You can also fully expect him to come back, promising to change, swearing that he loves her and wants to stay together. It's all bull, but she may believe it, simply because she wants so desperately for it to be true. Ultimately, it's up to her whether she goes back or not, there's really nothing you can do to persuade her otherwise if that's what she's going to do. Just let her know that you'll be there no matter what.

Answer 3

Relapse back to what?
Just be there for her, she will be hating men for awhile until she can build up trust again. Make sure to keep motivating her and telling her she did the right thing to get out of that abusive relationship. Make her feel like her life is not over, and she will find the right man in the future. Do your best to make sure she doesn't start blaming herself or that she's never going to get another man.

Answer 4

I left my abusive husband after 11 years. And then I went from the frying pan into the fire. Your sister needs to know that you love her and you will be there for her. Most of all she needs to get professional help. She needs to know that she is worth something in this life. She needs to know that not all men are creeps. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet. There is nothing that women can't do. We are the stronger of the sexes. Your sister doesn't need to get into any relationship right now. Help her find herself. She can go back to school or find a job, go to church if she believes. There is so much out there we just have to look for it and do it.

Answer 5

LOLA, you have to understand what abuse does to a person. She need help and fast. Find her a program the Will help battered women. She need to get restraint orders on him. When he calls for her, don't give her the phone. The reason she keep going back is because it now psychological thinking. She want the person she fell in love with and is hoping that he will change. He's probably told her that nobody will want her, nobody is going to love her like he do, and she should thank God that they won't love her like he did, hopefully more. You won't believe what an abused woman endure. All I can stress is... GET HELP NOW!!!

Answer 6

What ever she does she never needs to tell a new partner what she went through because for some reason men tend to try and see if they too can get away with it. Stay strong, Find herself and get a buddy system. and watch out of signs for example a man that isn't confident in himself, mental abuse, putting her down, he isn't positive about anything.....Try and get the opposite of her ex husband, something new.. Good Luck.

Answer 7

she has to find out why she feels that is what she deserves, once she finds out why she feels this way then she can work out the how she got in that place to begin with. sometimes its easier to just do the familiar, so as her sister, until she gets some heart answers going make sure your not the cause of stress for her. if she has a place that is full of love and light, it will be obvious to her not to go back to the hate, fear and darkness of that life with her husband. if she goes back, just love her, tell her as often as possible, maybe she will one day not ever want to go.

Answer 8

Talk to her positively about herself and her decision. Get her to focus on all that she can accomplish now that he will no longer in the picture. Keep her feeling strong and let her know she is capable of making it on her own. She is off to a good start, she has you to give her support! Some people in this situation dont have anyone to turn to.

Answer 9

Relapse? This is not a disease. However, I would suggest that if she ever feels like returning to him, if she should have a weak moment when she thinks she needs him instead of her safety, her freedom, that she have you beat her up, call her names, take her out into the country and leave her on the road for dead. That should get it out of her system.

In all honesty, her own good sense will keep her safe. Give her a hug and kiss for me. Tell her gentle thoughts, from a sister.

Answer 10

Honestly hun,there's nothing you can really say. I've had friends and family in abusive relationships and they NEVER listened to a word i or anybody else said to them. She has to learn on her own that she dosen't need him..help her to start going out and meeting new people, even if they are friends..help get her life back by making it normal again..take her out to eat, take her to a night club or 2..you know..do things with her that she enjoyed doing before she got in this relationship. good luck.