can you tell me how you got out of it b/c ive already asked a question and i know what i need to do but i get sad just thinking about being away from him...but even more sad thinking about what happens on a daily basis ( like not being able to visit my firstborn nephew/godson 2 weeks old (my love) how did you get out and how did you deal with moving on? thank you`in advance
2007-02-02 17:15:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes , the father of my daughter was very emotionally and physically abusive, i was with him for 5 years.. it was hard to leave , between feeling trapped, him tearing down my self esteem, and the fact of having to take my daughter away from him, it was a constant tear at my heart.. for the first 4 years i tried, hoping he'd wake up one day and suddenly be a changed man, some how wake up and realize what he was doing to me and our family.. but it didnt happen.. the last year i was emotionally detached from him i was like a walking zombie just going through the motions, to survive, i started to put alittle money away at a time, id box things up while he was at work and mail them to my mother (that lived 2000 miles away) , when i first left, i was terrified.. not knowing what the future had instored for me, not knowing if i was going to be ok.. for most of the trip i even debated on turning back, because all though living with him was hell on earth, i was secure in what tomorrow would bring, where now i had no clue what was going to happen.. but with each passing mile i got stronger and stronger, and when i reached about 3/4's of the way, it was like suddenly this huge weight was lifted off of me..
I didnt want my kids growing up in that environment, i didnt want my son thinking it was ok to hit women, i didnt want my daughter to grow up thinking it was ok for her bf/husband to hit her..
It was the best decision i ever made, but i have to admit.. i still have issues as far as insecurities, low self esteem, etc.. from what he put me through, but i know eventually those old scars that he created, will eventually disappear.. stay strong, and realize its the control , the mind games, that keep u there, (the struggle with actually leaving him) its not really love.. its more fear, and insecurities that he's instilled in u..
2007-02-02 17:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are losing your self.
When that happens,when you do not know who you are anymore,Life has you know it has ended.
Really do you know who you are? Perhaps maybe you are the person he wants you to be.
He is in control.
You need to put the control back in your hands.
But you say you love him? But do you love yourself enough to get out?
YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!!!!!!!
Be Strong find yourself and take charge!
You need to be born again, just like your godson .
Yes I talk from experience.
Be Stronnnnnnngggggggggg
Look in the mirror and find you.
Break that mold he made you out to be.
Find someone in your family,friends that you can stay with. Be Free find yourself.
Honey, I love you whack and then he smacks you one.
That is not LOVE never will be! Isolation is not love either.
FREEDOM LOVE YOURSELF
AND SCREAM I AM, NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE
DON'T BE A MOLD
TAKE THE STAND.
GODBLESS
2007-02-03 06:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Catt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get up and go, don't look back. Enlist friends and family to help you. Visit a battered woman's shelter, they usually have counselor's. That's what I did and I didn't look back till the divorce was final. 11 years later, I'm still scared of him though and I'm afraid I'll see him one day. But I also know I'm stronger now because of him and what I went through. Good luck to you!
2007-02-02 17:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been married for 3 years to an abusive unfaithful man. it's not easy, but you have to leave him. you love him, as i love my husband, but you have to come first. it is your life. live it the way you need to. you don't need some man telling you that you cannot do things, beating you, cheating on you. all that stuff rips away pieces of your heart, as they did mine, until you are left to be a shell of a human with no emotion and no pride. save yourself, while you can. i did, and i could not even begin to describe the weight that has been lifted off my shoulders and my heart.
2007-02-02 17:37:21 · answer #4 · answered by stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and it was horrible... its never fun being abused and controlled.. if you don't have a place to go, then you need to find a Point of Hope, or a womans shelter and get yourself out of there before it starts getting worse.
2007-02-02 17:22:40 · answer #5 · answered by emtb9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u just have to decide what kind of life u want, it is always hard to leave someone even if they don't treat u that good, but sometimes we just have to stand up for ourselves, in spite of the fears of the future, and finances and just do it. the longer u wait the harder it is to leave, as we sometimes grow accustomed to this way of life, even think after awhile it is normal. we get so use to it, we fail to see we are really being hurt by it. if u want your freedom to be a normal person than u have to leave. we teach people how to treat us, by accepting what they throw at us.
2007-02-03 08:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I used to fight back, but anyway, I got tired of having to deal with that drama, I had him arrested, filed for divorce, got a restraining order and moved on.
2007-02-02 18:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but my alcoholic ex-wife abused me and our children.
If he is abusing you, and won't seek professional help, you need to get out of the relationship. It is unhealthy and quite possible, it could be deadly, if you allow him to continue abusing you. Call the police, have him arrested, and hire an attorney. God bless you.
2007-02-02 17:23:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. US of A, Baby! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope
2007-02-02 17:20:33 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just understand that you are not the one with an issue. Its him. Seperating you from family is just because he feels threatened and will loose control of you. Control is not love.Not bieng able? Who died and made him god?
2007-02-02 17:21:17 · answer #10 · answered by JHAMAINE E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋