i feel so bad for my daughter,she couldnt take it any more her boyfriend was always buying porn dvds.and hideing them.i guess while she was in the shower he would be watching them,and that really made her sick knowing there baby was in the room.and he could of spent that money for the dvds on the baby.she told him to take a pic of the baby.and he riped it up..he just cant stop buying porn dvds.i think theres something wrong with him.what should i do to make her feel better?
2007-02-02 15:36:23 · 7 answers · asked by bassetluv 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get them to go to couples therapy
2007-02-02 16:01:38 · answer #1 · answered by Leslie N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she loves him, and they want to work things out please seek counseling.
Sex addiction is real. It can ruin families and tear them apart. I know.
The first thing she needs to do is not yell and scream at him. This only makes him feel worse and hide his problem more.
Now I am not against porn, but, I do believe it can become an addiction.
She needs to ask him why he likes it so much..and no matter the answer she needs to keep her cool.
She needs to then tell him why she is so offended with out being accusatory.
In the mean time, I would tell her you know shes hurting and that you will help her all you can. Tell her that this does not mean she is unattractive or in any means un sexy.
2007-02-02 16:06:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He definitely has a serious problem which is going to drag him deeper into sins as his fantasy world has already become more real to him. She should stay separated and instist he get counseling. They both would likely benefit from attending a solid Bible believing church. There are ministries equipped with dealing with helping him get free and her recover on-line and maybe in your city.
He is already being abusive to her and the child so it's not a healthy environment for either at this time. Give her all the love and support you can. It is definitely an adulterating (polluting, defiling the marriage bed, cheating) factor and must go before their marriage can thrive. Is he willing to get help? Direct her to sites such as "A Woman's Healing Journey" and others who offer help for "sexual addictions" and their partners. It is sin and sin is addictive but there's one cure for both him and her and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This is becoming more prevalent in our society so rest assured problems of this nature unfortunately leave your daughter in loads of company. Love and prayers to you both and for the healing and resoration of their souls and marriage. In the last days we are told that seducing spirits would wax worse but we can still fight this spiritual battle with God's help and with spiritual weapons. Those are the Word of God, the spirit, the helmet of salvation, shield of faith, etc.
"After half a century of unbridled lust on the part of both men and women as they celebrated the sexual revolution's war against the inhibitions of the Victorians, the mid 1990s saw a new kind of sex manual appear. Psychiatrists became alarmed that unrestrained sexual activity does not liberate as Kinsey promised. Instead, sex (real or fantasized) with anybody, whenever, and however eventually so enslaves the person's mind and body that sexologists coined a new name for its devastation--"sexual addiction." Sexual addiction quickly progresses from having "a little harmless fun" to inordinately compulsive thoughts and actions that turn into perversions. The sexual addict, whether male or female, loses the ability to relate to real people on a personal level. The addict eventually becomes consumed by self-gratifying compulsions that harm his self-image, job, health, marriage, children, friendships, and view of reality. The addict may not even be able to drive down the freeway without masturbating and fantasizing.
Then in 1998, "60 Minutes" broadcast a segment about how all the mainstream universities were starting to teach classes on sexuality that were nothing more than porn shows paid for by tax dollars. Most of these classes are openly taught by homosexuals trying to teach others how to be homosexuals and to dignify their lifestyle. Unfortunately, the trend set by the sexual revolution is going to get a lot worse before it gets better, if it gets better."
http://gospelthemes.com/asa.htm
2007-02-02 16:21:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier said than done, She is going to keep contact with him for awhile (because of the baby) She needs your love and support. She will probably go through a time of grieving. Stay strong and let her know your there for her and her baby ALWAYS. Good Luck
2007-02-02 16:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can advise her to dump him, and get on birth control a.s.a.p. But if she doesn't want to help herself - nothing you can do other than helping her take care of the baby. She, herself, has to want to dump this loser; maybe there's something you can do to help her build up her self-esteem.
2007-02-02 16:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly don't feel she has a big problem. But if it bothers her that much she needs to find another guy who is not into that.
2007-02-02 16:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by Nort 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Therapy and lots of it.
2007-02-02 15:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by poemonkey1980 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋