Religion, relationships and "weddings".?

Question

Okay, so first of all I'm not going to reveal who's from what religion specifically, to keep things more objective. My boyfriend and I are from two religious and cultural backgrounds. We're both very casual about this fact. However, recently we were talking about future ideas of marriage/weddings etc. Neither of us are religious, I'm not a part of any religion, and he doesn't really give much thought to the religion his family claims to believe in. I think if we have a wedding, it should reflect our own beliefs. However, he wants to follow certain traditions for the sake of his family. I don't want this. I feel especially strongly about this because I feel that certain religions also misrepresent women and indirectly (or directly) imply certain gender roles for them, and this is sometimes ingrained in the actual wedding traditions that are followed too.

Maybe I'll reveal the actual religions and what the traditions are eventually when I've gotten responses without this information.

We've been together for two years, and no "wedding" (if any at all) will happen for at least for the next 9 years or so. This is just a thought that crossed my mind and came up in conversation. Just figured I'd make a note, since it might weed out some of the responses that are unnecessarily intense.

Answer 1

If you're not able to come to an agreement before a wedding, it will become a major problem after marriage, especially if you plan to have children.

Answer 2

This is just the start of your problems to come. In a perfect world we could fall in love with whoever we fell in love with and live happily ever after, but thats just not real. Dont think that this is the only hurdle youll have...next will be how you spend your holidays, how you resolve conflict, and the big one....how you raise your children. Just because you say you are not very religious now, doesnt mean that when certain situations come up you wont lean towards some sort of faith. You didnt really specify a question, so im unsure what you are asking for other than opinion on how you feel...??? As long as there are men and women on this earth there will be gender roles...thats just how it is. If you cant deal with that now, good luck in marriage!

Answer 3

This is a very hard situation to live through. It is hard because when a couple start thier lives together it is just that. They are marking the beggining of life together. A big part of you and him now, is reflected in what you have lived your whole life and as with everthing, religion is a part of that. Deciding which, if any religion should be present is something you must both agree on. The reason's you agree or disagree to ad it should be based on both of you. Not just one or the other. So as far as him wanting the religion that he has been raised in, being a part of the wedding /future should be a reason you both want it there. If it is just to please his family, then he needs to realize that a part of marriage is disconnection from his family. It is a part of becoming your own person, not a part of pleasing the family that raised him. It's hard to do but can and is done all the time

Answer 4

I may not be a good one to answer this question. I am christian who believes that we are to follow EXACTLY what is found in the New Testament. Man attempts to add so many things to GOD's WORD when he forms a body of members to worship together. IT is sad that people do not just read and study HIS WORD adding nothing to it and taking nothing from it. This is the way that GOD would want us to be. I hope that both of you begin reading and studying the BIBLE with a group of non-denominational Christians from your area that might assist you in your quest for finding the TRUTH that Jesus Christ does offer to each one of us. In Genesis we are told that the man was formed first and the woman was first to sin against GOD. That is the reason that man has the lead role in the family and in the Church. We should respect that. I do not believe that this must be shown in the marriage ceremony. Your Fiance should recognize that and respect that in you.

Study these scriptures and see what you think. To become a Christian:
HEAR - Romans 10:14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?
BELIEVE - In Mark 16:16, Jesus said “He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.”
REPENT - Luke 13:3 I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.
CONFESS CHRIST - 1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
BE BAPTIZED - Romans 6:3-4 do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
CONTINUE TO BE FAITHFUL - Jesus said in Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”
Send me a note if you have questions. I am anxious to hear from you. Have a Great day.
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