Plz..help me get rid of this fear of fear...or something like that?

Question

The other day I was giving a presentaion in Lit and its like so easy, you just ask the class questions on the story. Anyway so im all convincing myself that I dont freakin need to get all worried. But I did feel nervous, which I accepted relunctantly. When I presented it, my voice shook a bit, not major like before but it still was making me self-conscious because I wanted to keep it under control. But as I was standing up there in front of the whole class, I realized something. Standing in front of everyone was easy and asking them whatever questions was easy and it felt like it would be easy if I was talking my heart out to them at that moment(and yet I couldnt because my voice would still shake). As I was thinking all this, still my voice shook. I realized then that I don't have a fear of public speaking or anything like that, I have a fear of nervousness. I know I am capable of presenting anything and talking smoothly (in the begginning of the year I gave an awesome debate). Yet when I feel that adrenaline kick I get nervous about my nerves. The only thing I hate now about presenting is my shaky voice. I used to not get it. I think because of one bad experience now it keeps popping up. Can anyone help me break free from this? I seriously feel like its screwing up my life. One time I just went up to the teacher to ask something and my voice shook so crazy like ever in my whole life. That was one of my most humiliating moments. Of course thats rare but that teacher I felt very attracted to and i wanted to impress her or something and I was nervous but I thought I was calm but apparently I wasnt. someone help me. Ive tried just accepting my nervousness, it still doesnt work that mindfulness or whatever. I've tried abdominal breathing but I think it makes me more nervous, I dont know it may be psychological. I just want it to go AWAY!!!! holy crap i wrote so much

and i kinda sorta have social anxiety and i dont like to talk to ppl about my problems...definately not to teachers or parents

Answer 1

Fear of nervousness, fear of failure really by the sounds of it. I used to be that way and then when you mess up you are haunted or even plagued at any moment with out notice you will get a flashback and have a quick bowling ball in the gullet sensation.

Yup been there.

Here is what I did.

Stop caring about what the audience may say or think about you. This is what I mean. You have a whole life to continue to fail in and you will always grow from the experience. If they like you the like you and if they want to make fun of you they will. You can not control the outcome. You can only influence it.

What do I mean by influence it? Great question! Believe what you are presenting; understand in depth more than you already do so when asked any question you can answer it before the question is finished.

Present and speak with conviction and passion. You will come across like you researched and wrote the material you are presenting yourself which will cause people to only be impressed and not ask so many questions.

Answer 2

You do realize that your voice shakes because the vocal cords (muscles) constrict, right? It's like making a muscle (flexing your bicep) for a long time; your arm would start to shake because the muscles are 'burning'. That's the same reason that your voice shakes. That's also why people swallow subconsciously when they are nervous. It's a reflex action to get blood flowing (like moving your arm after you work it really hard). Blood flow means oxygen, which is also why people breath deeply to steady themselves. Are you getting the picture yet?

If you know WHY you do it, you can take steps to stop it. It's a physical manifestation of a psychological origin. If you feel that you've tackled the psychological aspect successfully, then what you are dealing with is basically 'muscle memory'. The fear may still be there, but your mind has figured out how to function despite it. Your muscles are attached to the fear part of the brain, not the coping part. You have to retrain the muscles not to constrict.

Answer 3

Try practice. Like try talking out in public to whomever you are with. Just ignore the people around you and continue to talk to the other person in the conversation, this may help. I personally used to feel this way because I didn't have enough confidence, but now I realized that I don't care if people like me or not. Tell yourself, you have to be able to do these things because you want too not because you have too. This may help to take some pressure off.

Answer 4

A fear of bugs is quite normal. You would have to see a therapist who specializes in things like this to get over your fear. They would eventually make you touch a bug but it would be a gradual process. Try to remember that they cannot hurt you and that they are TINY. You are a mountain to them. YOU have the power. They also sell bug vaccuums that let you suck up bugs without having to get too near them - that may help you in the meantime by getting rid of the bugs and letting you feel like you have some power over them.

Answer 5

thats cute.. lol.. im not sure if theres like a one-answer solution where youre gonna hear it and then something in your head will spark and youll be like WOW and then your voice will never shake again.. or if its more of like a practice makes perfect thing.. but im gonna say try feeling more comfortable in that kinda position.. like your voice shakes because of uncomfort.. im sure you know this.. but try to just talk and talk and talk until you can feel comfortable and secure like you are when youre around your good friends.. i cant think of a solution other than to just "stop" being uncomfortable and just kinda deal and get rid of any insecurities you have.. see i have the same problem and thats what im doing.. its slowly but surely working.. i hope anyways lol.. well good luck with this!

Answer 6

Well you sure talk allot took me a bit to read that damn thing .
Try talking faster make it short and sweet stop thinking about what your talking about

Answer 7

well relax I think if you just chill and maybe even talk to a parent, teacher, friend then you'll be ok. and remember everyones afread of something. but good luck.

Answer 8

just relax. you lack of confidence in facing people because you are afraid that they'll laugh at you. just gain more confidence. try to ask other people near to you on how they overcome that fear of yours.

Answer 9

Lose the word "fear", if you don't know it - you won't associate with it.

Answer 10

try researching performance anxiety that might help you.