I've just recently pulled out of a spiral of denial (Dramatic...) and come to terms with the fact that I am a lesbian. Now that I've admitted it to myself, I'd like to.. get it out there, I suppose, but I was wondering who, in your opinion I should tell first. I'm a chicken, admittedly, so I've written a letter, currently dressed to my best friend, explaining the discovery I've made about myself.. She's been my best friend since we were both in the fourth grade. (we're in the eleventh now.) And it seems logical that I tell her first... to me anyway, so that she can.. I don't know, be there for me when I tell my parents, who I'm sure aren't going to take it with smiles and sunshine... Does anyone else see the logic there? Do you think I should maybe tell my parents first? I mean, after all, they are the ones who gave birth to and raised me... I'm a bit stuck on this matter, and would greatly appreciate someones opinion.
2007-02-02 15:17:19 · 10 answers · asked by allanimefreak2 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You can do that if you feel lead too but I would first suggest you contact PFLAG-Parents Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. The reason I say this is because this organization is a support group and can help answer some of your questions. If your friend doesn't know your a lesbian she could "out" you to your other friends and the school before your ready. So Sweetie, check out this website. They are a loving and accepting group. I sent you the website for frequently asked questions and that might help you decide on what you want to do. Also you can contact PFLAG and it is totally confidential.
2007-02-02 16:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Becareful you dont scare off your best friend. Test her with converstations about the subject before telling her and is she seems cool about it and she's trustworthy enough not to blab it to the whole school then tell her first. She will support you through the rough times and guide you when you need it. Come out to your parents after you have a job and can support yourself. That way it wont matter if they accept you or not because if you do it sooner you have to live with the consequenses of living with them and they might give you hell for the remainder of the time you live with them. Come out after you move out of your parents house. Trust me I've been there with unaccepting parents and have regretted telling them ever since. Now I live with my partner and have some hindsight. Tell only the most trustworthy people but not your parents until you move out. You don't need them to know at this time. You will not gain anything by them knowning. Be cool and stay under the raidar for a few years. Then do it.
2007-02-02 23:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by storm2325 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in closet too.
I think you should tell your friend IF you know she'll react positively. You're lucky. Gays and Lesbians can be very lonely soemtimes if they don't have no one to talk too. At least you'll have your friend. What's ur age? (I don't know your educational system)
Anyway, for your parents I think you should wait. If they react negatively... Be atleast 17 or 18. So that you can stand independently.
Just don't rush!
2007-02-03 08:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Ieshwar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letter to your best friend sounds like a good idea. Mail it and then theres no going back. You don't have to wear your sexuality on your sleeve. It's really something that you can keep on a need to know basis if you want.
2007-02-02 23:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Writing a letter can be a good idea since it isn't so confrontational, but telling a parent can be difficult.
I would suggest checking out the PFLAG website before doing anything so you will be prepared for what to expect.
2007-02-02 23:38:38 · answer #5 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most likely the best friend first. It sounds like you're closer to her and she may be more accepting. Better to tell the person you're closest to first and have her support when you tell your parents.
2007-02-02 23:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by carora13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you feel that you have to anounce to the world.
take life as it comes. if there is a right time to mention it then do. otherwise just live your life.
2007-02-02 23:21:59 · answer #7 · answered by KRIS 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the only person you could turn to when you couldn't find the answer to a problem yourself.....Your Mother
2007-02-02 23:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by Baguio_bob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get as much support as you can first...tell the people first who will support you the most..
2007-02-02 23:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you think that your parenst are gonna support u then tell them or no need...........
2007-02-02 23:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by SUMMER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋