I was very close friends with a girl about a year or two ago. We did the usual low key drugs and drank together. We were best friends before that even started. I tryed very hard to not even let her smoke pot because I knew she had such an addictive personality. I have never been closer with anyone in my life than I was with her. Long story short she got involved with a guy and he warped her and convinced her that I was a loser. I never forgave her and we are acquantices now, with deep wounds. I am drugfree now. I still care about her very deeply. She became a pothead. I found out today that she is using heroin. She is not even 17 years old. This is not the country it is washington DC. Her father died about 2 years ago and her mother gave up trying to protect her a long time before that. I was the last person to find out and I guarantee that I will be the first if not only person to act. Does anyone have any advice? Take into account I talk to her about once every 6 months very briefly.
2007-02-02 15:06:59 · 8 answers · asked by spidersinthedressingroom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is not much you can do since she sees you as a loser. I doubt you would have any influence over her. The one thing you can do is let her know if she ever needs anyone you will be there for her especially if she wants to quit using drugs.
Talk to a local drug rehab facility and see what they have to tell you.
2007-02-02 15:13:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK....show up on her doorstep after 6 months to tell her that you disapprove of her friends and her behavior and insist that she change everything about her life. That will repair the relationship.
This could be a bad rumor. You might just give her a call and act friendly and catch up for old time's sake. Find out for yourself if she sounds like she needs or even wants help. Let her know your number and let her know you are available if she ever wants to "talk".
An addict has to WANT to change and take the first step to be successful. Plant a seed in her mind that are still her freind who she can trust and go to. That is really all you can do.
Good Luck.
2007-02-02 15:16:46 · answer #2 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been living with addiction in my family for most of my life. One of the 1st things that I learned is that you won't be able to help your friend until she is ready to receive the help she truly needs.
By your own words, you described yourself as a person who is on the very fringes of her life at this time. As much as it may be troubling for you emotionally, you are probably as underqualified as you can get to have any influence over her.
As an addict the only way that she will stop using drugs to to hit her personal bottom. It may be getting busted for drugs, & doing some jail time, or it may be all the way to the ultimate bottom, death. Or somewhere in between. In the meantime there is nothing you can do about it except to standby & wait until she is really ready to accept the help that she needs.
So taking into account that you only talk to her about twice a year, I suggest that the next time you see her tell her that she needs help in the form of a bonafide drug treatment programme, & that you will be happy to welcome her back into your life once she has sought that treatment.
For you to STAY drug free you can't associate with people who use drugs, so for your own personal well being you need to exclude her from your life as long as she chooses to stay addicted, so tell her that also.
I lost a brother to drugs, & almost lost my wife to alcohol. One thing I know for sure is that you can literally drive yourself crazy trying to solve your friends problem for her, SO DON'T.
If you are about the same age as your friend (17) then you definately have better things to do than to spend your time chasing your friend around DC trying to straighten her life out when she is bound & determined to self-destruct.
I know it sounds cold hearted, but I am speaking from experience, & I am trying to pass it on to a young person who can really benefit from it, so take good care of yourself.
You are a good hearted person, & your friend is lucky to have you caring about her, but she probably isn't capable of recognizing any of that at this time, so until she does there's not a thing you can do.
Sorry! :-(
2007-02-02 15:42:25 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not a whole lot you can do considering that she really doesn't have any parents. You can always try to convince her mother to help her. Otherwise, I would let her know that you're there to support her if/when she decides to get help. Then stay away - you don't want to get dragged down with her.
2007-02-02 15:19:10 · answer #4 · answered by tata10-24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if what is left of your friendship is more important than her life, that way you can force yourself to do what is necessary. You need to somehow get her into a detox program. Call the police, not to report her, but they may be able to give you specific guidance to your area. It may not be what she wants now, and she may end up hating you. If her life is more important than that, do what you have to. One day she may end up thanking you for saving her life.
And congrats for being drug-free
2007-02-02 15:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Firefighter1154 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Wow. back to am I my brother's keeper? You need to look at your options. To start with you need to be sure of your facts. If you only speak to her as irregularly as you say, are you sure of her condition - and by becoming involved, are you going to risk pulling yourself down to the drug scene once again.
The best advice if you still care is to discuss the situation with a drug councellor and they will help you with the options...
2007-02-02 15:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Nosher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do that won't make her withdraw from you in shame.
2007-02-02 15:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing with your ex best friend? and why so worried?
2007-02-02 15:10:12 · answer #8 · answered by superman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋