Poem help!!!!?

Question

Please comment on the technique of the following poems(including the horror one) and why the techniques are effective. Also say why you like it.
Please help! I need this for English oral presentation. Also I need a name for the first poem which I wrote and I need a horror poem. (<--of your choice)

For thie first poem please click the following link



http://hk.geocities.com/charingyu/poem1.htm

Answer 1

hey thats not bad, i would call it ''hitting home''.

Answer 2

Your poem is good! The name should be the Break Up that's what i thought anyway.
Horror poem
"Today, in Baghdad, a bomb

kills forty-seven and wounds over one hundred,

leaving a crater ten feet deep. The stunned

gather body parts from the roadway

to collect in cardboard boxes

which will not be taped and shipped

to the White House lawn, not buried

under the green sod thrown over, box by box

emptied into the rich soil in silence

while a Marine sentry stands guard

at the National Monument, Tomb of the Unknown
Brian Turner
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/05/DDG4HNCE5T1.DTL