Thanks to all with the lying tobacco husband....?

Question

Thank you all for your support. I was raging mad last night. But, before I went to him about it- I read your emails and went to bed. In the moring, I woke up and had some time to myself to think. Then, I confronted him and things are looking up. We talked and I feel better than when I get really upset about it. I think he does too. It really isn't the tobacco that is the problem- it is the lying. But, thanks to you I am using a new method and hoping that things get better. Thank you so much!

Answer 1

I didn't get to answer the first one, but I read the question. I kept my tobacco use from my ex wife(not the reason she is the ex) for almost two years.

I assume you are not talking about smoking, as that is hard to hide with the smell and all from cigarette smoke.

I will say this, it is a hard habit to quit. I quit one time. I started back when my oldest was only two weeks old, and already in the hospital. She is four now, and I have yet to quit again.

I'm not telling you to not talk to him about it, but make sure it isn't in a negative way. That just creates stress, and then you can forget about him quitting. He isn't going to admit to it if you always get irrate, and go off. His thinking is might as well avoid an argument that will likely make me want to have a dip anyways.

My ex finally just told me that she would not tolerate it around her or the childrem. I never used it around them in the first place. From what I know, she talked about this at one of her prayer things(she is christian, I am not, and yes, that is one of the big reasons she is an ex). I guess one of the ladies there told her to not "nag" about it, as it will not solve anything in the first place. I guess the lady told her to tell me she would prefer that I stopped, but could not make me, and leave it at that. After that, she never said anything else about it. She just knew that if I ran to the store, or something of that nature, I was likely "sneaking" one in while I was gone.

I noticed you already seemed to have the answers you needed, but thought I would share something from the other side of the problem.

Answer 2

HELL he is a smoker!
no chit he should burn...