My story and suicide.....1-5 Grade...(don't responde here) *THIS IS LONG I'M SORRY*?

Question

Hi my name is Jess and i am 18 years old. I'm a senior in high school and i have a story to tell. I'm VERY VERY UPSET...and i REALLY hope people will take the time to read this and maybe possible give me some advice or some help...it's a VERY LONG STORY but i will start with elementary school
(I REALLY HOPE SOMEONE TAKES THE TIME TO READ THIS)

Back when i was in elementary school i was a pretty happy kid. I had friends and all that good stuff. When i got into 3rd grade i remember i became a bit "violent" and got in a fight with this one girl whom i now see and we are pretty nice to each other now. Any who, When i got into 4th grade MY ENTIRE LIFE CHANGED....I went to a new school in the same town. We had a ton of different elementary schools and then it would go to one school for 4-6 grade. Any who, when i was in 4th grade nobody would sit with me because i didn't go to the same "school" as the rest of the kids i would come home CRYING everyday

-it wont let me type more part II-

Answer 1

wow its so sad... i know how this feels because i was in this possition...

Answer 2

I have the same proablem! People think I'm weird and never sit next to me. Just be yourself and friends will come. I promise you that! When I was in 6th grade no one would sit near me but now in 11th grade I have tons of friends! Just be yourself and DON'T comit suicide. Since you were born you were ment to live! Also if you ever need a friend you can email me anytime you would like. My email is [e-mail] I hope all goes well in collage and the rest of your life! Good luck with collage!

Answer 3

k.hi. this seems to be a good basis of where the depression could have set in. You percieve yourself as having the perfect childhood (as most do) therefore, moving you blame for some reason it seems on yourself, and not the good portion. You cannot change whats behind you. You can only change that you are now out of there and old enough to make adult decisions.

Answer 4

wow...
YOU HAVE REALLY TOUCHED ME! (I will elaborate on that at the end of this but first about YOU)
I feel horrible for you but please know that the best years of your life are ahead. When you go to college (in a few short months), this will have been a distant memory.
Right now you have friends (or dont have friends) because of where you live. If you lived someplace else, there might be a million people just like you! You are in a unique situation to change EVERYTHING when you go to college.

YOU will be able to decide where you live in a few short months. You and you alone.
SO right now, take the energy and get lost in your books and schoolwork. No it is not easy and I am not implying that it is. Trust me when I tell you how different school will be when you are in control of the situation.
NO ONE will know you.
YOu can redefine who you are at that time.
It is awesome because you will have NO history and the people that are there will be there because they want to be in school not becuase 'mommy' or the state made them attend.
COLLEGE Is a whole new world.
No counselor telling you you cant drop a class, you dont like it, you dont go
just that simple.

But you should go, you really have a story to tell.
Imagine how alone you feel right now.
Would you wish this feeling you have right now on ANYONE? Of course not so think that if you ddie, you cant share your experiences with someone else

As for killing yourself to get even with your tormentors.....
If you do, the people that told you to do it WONT FEEL BAD AT ALL because they are already bad people. If anything you will be givign them MORE power. Those azzholes will think that they are so important that they determine who lives and who dies! Do you really want to give them THAT much power.

NOt that you are not going thru anything but think of yoru stuggles in terms of GHANDI
or in terms of what Jesus went thru (if you are religious) or (its black history month so what the hell) Think about the girl from the infamous BROWN vs. the board of education.....That little girl managed to GRADUATE from school where it went beyond kids not liking her, they made her feel as if she was an animal. Parents took their kids out of school so that they wouldnt have to sit next to the black girl! They ADULTS spit on this child and crosses were burned in her front lawn.
THIS LITTLE GIRL GRADUATED from that school and went on to college (graduated from there too)
Saw her on tv. She thanked her tourementers (sp)....said it made her a stronger person.

If you kill yourself, you would be selling the world short. If she can do it against those odds, dont you think you can to.

WHAT IF your purpose in life was to reach out and share your story with some other teenager who feels alone.
If you went to school to be a social worker, you could make it your mission (with passion and conviction that only comes from LIVING this) to make sure that an experience like yours does NOT happen to anyone else.
YOu do that and every second of the hell you are in RIGHT NOW will be worth it.
If you cant live for yourself right now, live for the people that you are going to help.
Hell live for me.
I was having a bad day and I feel better already if my words have kept YOU from killilng yourself tonight.
Maybe it will work maybe it wont but if you had died, I would not have gotten the chance to tell you how your story has touched me in a way that will make me more compassionate to a friend that I was just going to write to yahoo answers and ask how to 'dump'.
SO your words (for me) have NOT been in vain.
Not that I know your pain, but I can see how some of my actions might have caused someone else a great deal of pain and that was not my intention.
Can you examine the changes that you need to make in your life.
is there a homeless family that could use your assistance.
Is there a cause that you could join where you are with like minded people who share a common goal.
You can do it.
6 months is NOTHING in terms of what is going on. YOu are in the home stretch now.
All the hell that you have been thru thus far, you can do 6 months with your head in the gilotine (sp) ~ see I need to go back to school too, I can't spell for shyt! Anywhoo, Hang in there. Several people who you have not met are counting on you to do just that!

Answer 5

u probably just needed to talk to them that's what i did and it worked did u ever say hi to them or tell them Ur name?

Answer 6

definitely we have alike stories...I'll read the rest...

xoxo.♥™

Answer 7

Well, you apparantly didnt commit suicide.