we have been married for 7 years with 4 kids 2 from previous relationships ive always tried to be a good father always doing everything i can for my family but problems came up with me and my wife after a loved one on her side paased away since that death our lives have changed very dramatically where we arent the same as we argue constantly and really cant get along as times went on ive gone threw rumors of infidelity regarding my wife and always stuck by her and supported her to this day ive always been there cause i do love my wife and am afraid of losing her we are still gouing threw problems i dont like thinking bad of my wife but i dont know what 2 do i just recently dfound a letter in my bedroom regarding my youngest daughter that she is not mine i am very depressed and angry from the distant feelings from my wife wich made me get close to someone else which i know is wrong but i am angry and need help beofre i do something i will regret please someone i need help i live in ny
2007-02-02 14:15:51 · 11 answers · asked by Francisco C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to confront your wife and the two of you need couples counseling. A love one passed away on my side a week ago and I have felt different towards my husband since I have been home. I am thinking it should pass. I don't know why I feel different, maybe because I realize he doesn't treat me like I am the favorite as everyone there does. He treats me like he should, his partner in life.
2007-02-02 14:20:56 · answer #1 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How, upsetting it is to hear that anyone is having problems in their marriage. I must let you know that you have already done wrong. (You stated that you have gotten close to someone else). If there are any chances of repairing your marriage the both of you must set down and put all the cards on the table. Be honest not leaving any thing out. Marriage should be a union that provide a feeling of security because there is a climate of love and because a personal commitment has been made by each mate. You both together should go to God in prayer (He is the creator of marriage) and ask him for guidance and help in resolving your problems. make sure each of you are confining sexual interest to ones mate. have loving concern for one another. always speak in a kindly, considerate manner to each other. avoiding outburst of anger, nagging, and harsh critical remarks. I wish there was a way that I could send you a great book on family, it speaks about the role of a husband and the role of a wife. I really do suggest that if you are able to set down wife your wife to night or first thing tomorrow please speak with her and let her know how you are feeling. I will pray for the best out come for you all.
2007-02-02 14:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by Vivimos en los Ultimos Dias 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loss of loved ones is a blow and some people spin out of control. But one's moral compass should put limits on how far a person can do to heal his/her hurt-- infidelity isn't a cure.
Seems that a number of dirty laundry surfaced at a time of instability. I think either you or your wife can use the death as an excuse for past secrets but own up to your own mistakes.
2007-02-02 14:42:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fixed marriages very last more than love marriages because in societies the position you've fixed marriage divorce is typically completely out of the question or saved for extremely intense situations. in a lot of situations fixed marriage is extra of a organisation or a deal than what we call "marriage" in our society. each and every from time to time love comes later and frequently no longer, although the deal is typically no longer meant to be damaged. i in my opinion favor love marriage with all its hazards.
2016-11-24 20:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, You're concerned about one problem then you go and create another. I don't think it's going to help anybody. You need to be thinking clearly about you and your wife. You two need to be figuring out what to do with out someone to run to on your mind. Fix the newest problem first by saying a simple good bye (for now), then work on the youngest child situation and your marriage.
2007-02-02 16:30:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling and help for you and this marriage. Ask you wife what this note means and show it to her and see what she has to say about it....You deserve to know the truth about this. I sure can see why you are upset and confused here. Confront and ask her about the daughter... If you need to take a paternity test then do it. Also go to Dr. Phil.com and email him and ask him about this dilemma and see why he may suggest.
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-02 14:23:31 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your wife and be open and honest about everything that you put here. You may want to consider marriage counseling if she will agree to it.But another relationship till you resolve this one will only make it worse.
2007-02-02 14:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by DESTINY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be offline, talking to your woman about this..If you love her, and she you, than you should feel confident to talk openly with one another.Don't you agree? I am a married woman and I can tell you that maybe if you can confront her, and let her know your feelings you can find out then if your marriage it savable. The only way to shorten that distance you have between the two of you is to have heart to heart talks until its resolved. You should get on this ASAP. Maybe counseling is an option for the two of you.
2007-02-02 14:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by cherokee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a deep breathe....your wife is hurting...your job should be to wake up every morning thinking, "what can I do today to make "my wife's" life better.....sperm does not a father make.....being a dad makes a father........hold on...because in the end, it's how you acted in times of despair that mean the most
2007-02-02 14:24:36 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that she is having a problem with grief from her loss. Talk to her and get her to open up to you and discuss what is going on with her. If it is grief issues you should seek a therapist as this might resolve those issues.
2007-02-02 14:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by n0s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋