So much stress....?

Question

I have been having mental problems for a while now,and I finally opened up to my Mom after she came to this conclusion herself(I am 14).
I can't go to a doctor about my mental health,because my father forbids it. My Mom is trying to help me the best that she can. She knows I am not telling her something.
My family is very religious,and condemns homo/bisexuality. I am bi. I am in love with a friend,but if this girl knew that,she would never speak to me again. My mother would flip out if she knew. I really have no one to talk to about this,and this adds to the mental issues I am currently having. This hurts so bad. I don't want to be this,I don't want to feel the way I do. I hate this.
What should I do? What will I tell my parents?(They'll get it out of me somehow...) I feel that I am being dishonest with my parents,which makes me feel even worse about myself.

I know that this may seem minor to you,and I know that you probably think that this isn't a big deal. For some odd reason,its a big deal for me. Thanks for helping and reading my sad little rant.

Answer 1

You sound very distressed. I came out to my mom at 14. It's been hell ever since. Our relationship is now dead. There are serious consequences to coming out and you have to think about them seriously before doing so. Take your time. Find someone to confide in that you can trust will not betray you. Talking to someone really helps. Don't go for a straight girl unless she makes the first move or you both make a move together. You don't need her telling everyone at school you came on to her. Be sure she wants you too before doing anything. High school is tough enough without people talking about you. Don't tell anyone about your sexuality unless you know for sure they are going to be cool about it. Otherwise they will just try to convince you not to have those feelings and that will cause you even more mental torment. Be yourself and trust only a special few. I tell you from experience. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

People are BORN to their own sexuality, be it homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality or heterosexuality. There is notihing you can do to make yourself better, because there is nothing wrong with you. I'm sorry your family is strict, you can't change that either. There is an 800 number that you can call and talk to people...it should be in your phone book under Mental Health, if not...try and google it...it's for kids who have questions about their sexuality and they will help you.
If you think you will lose your friend because you tell her about yourself, why not just ask her what she thinks first...then go from there...she may surprise you...
Get some help to talk to your parents...a teacher, counselor, friends...you aren't alone you know..
Good luck and I hope you get what you need and want...
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Answer 3

Wow 14 is hard enough without all that drama. I guess I would stay true to myself. Maybe you should avoid telling them for a few more years. They should be able to figure it out over time. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this now. Just know no one chooses to be gay. It is better for people to love the real you then a fake you any day. Maybe a school councilor can help. Or look for a support group.

Answer 4

When I walked into my dad's house to tell him, I looked around for all possible exits in case he decided to try to kill me. I know how hard it can be to come out to one's parents. What your father is doing is either considered neglect or emotional abuse. By your mother going along with it she's an accomplice at the least. Talk to your mother again about getting you to see a therapist. Talk to the guidance counselor at you school about the situation as well. Your parent's may need to be "convinced" to get you to a therapist. You're the one with the law on your side. Work on accepting yourself and building up the strength to come out and to deal with the consequences of coming out. Then tell your parent's about your sexuality. It's a long tough road, but it's worth it. Trust me. I wish you the best!

Answer 5

At 14 years of age, our hormones are running furiously around our bodies. You are feeling confused about your sexuality and that is all you need say to your parents. You should concentrate more on your school work right now, and wait until you are older to worry about it. Easier said than done I know, but give it your best shot. Enjoy the company of your friend/s, enjoy life, no need to get tangled up with someone just yet.

Answer 6

please contact pflag.org--- it is a supportive educational national group that assists the lgbt community and families and friends. They will help you find someone to talk to and help your folks if necessary. You need to find someone (ADULTS) to be in your corner: family or teacher or preacher, etc. Be careful who you talk to. The stress you're under is not fair. The fear of telling your folks is not fair. It might require you to live with another family member if you are that stressed out. It's better than being afraid. Please do contact pflag asap!!!!!! Hugs

Answer 7

I understand why it would be a big deal for you. Keep your mind occupied with activities. Don't share your feelings with anyone. When you are 18, move away, and live freely.

Answer 8

Contact PFLAG (parents and friends of lesbians and gays). These are really good people...for advice and just to talk to..they won't force you into anything....What's happening to you is sad...what's happening to your parents is sadder because they are on the edge of losing a daughter. Good Luck.