How would you feel?

Question

How would you feel about your bf leaving you for a one night stand he got pregnant before you met him? This happened to me. He comes from a good family & was ashamed of this. He was very depressed and very suicidal. I told him to seek prof help, but he wanted my help & I did. I helped him come to terms with it all, only for him to leave me to be w/her. He was very cold and told me she was the mother of his child and not to call him anymore. Well, I found out when I was in the hospital, she called me, as much as she helped to tell me, she wanted me gone, and played her part well. Anyhow, I yelled at him and was hurtful as well, for the first time ever. Well, he continued to spend time with her only for her to lie to him and tell him she was molested and raped when she was young. She also used the fact that they had a child together so they should be together and he fell for it. But he found out about her lies and stopped the relationship. She has a myspace acct where she tells her

most intimate details, like the date she concieved the child. She poses almost naked on the page and she also has pics of her daughter on it, but not in bad taste. And now she claims she is bi-sexual!! Is she nuts! He never wanted to be with someone like that, yet h ewent back to her. Even his lawyer suggested he keep a distance from her. I am shocked at him. But now he doesnt even talk to me. DO you think he is ashamed, guilty, or doesn't care. I was there for him, we actually were in love. ALmost 2 years. He kew this girl for only 3 months tops before he ended it with her. He cant even be a friend to me, because nomatter how bad it sounds, he is a good guy deep down.:( I have been so hurt by all this. What do you all think? PLease be honest and sorry I had to vent this and cry/

Answer 1

If you love someone let them go, if they return they were always yours.
He did an admirable thing, by wanting to take care of his child. He is mixed up in something you really do not want to be a part of. Let him go, it shall pass.

Answer 2

It sounds very painful! I would feel hurt as well but truthfully i think he is embarrassed by leaving you for her and things not working out. Even if the 2 of your were to try to get back together it would never be the same, you would never be able to get over this. You might thi9nk you could but this is something that will hurt you deep down inside for along time! He was probably your 1st love and that is hard, but you need to be strong and take the time to get over him and heal yourself, then move on. It takes time to mend a broken heart and you will need to learn to trust others guys, not all are like that some can be nice and some might be not so nice. Good luck and I hope you do the right thing! It is tough!

Answer 3

Time, love and emotions invested in another person bring expectations of that person with them. Yes, you have a right to feel let down, betrayed, hurt etc. However, at the end of the day he chose to do what he considered he had to do. Whatever he is experiencing, feeling that is his and not yours to concern yourself with.
And much as you try to make sense of this 'non' sense you will most likely draw a blank. There are just somethings that cannot be put into a 'logical answer' basket where an answer is forthcoming for events that have occurred. I would like you to look at and think about what can you learn and salvage from this experience?
You are the most important person to you now and it is up to you to accept what has happened and recognise this man does not have the maturity or ability to make rational good life choices. Whereas from what you have written here you do, for instance the advice of seeking professional help when he lost his coping skills.
Perhaps you should take heed of your own advice here. I go to professional counselling for a 'head spring clean', it helps to regain your own sense of balance again. And it allows you to only put back in what you want, it changes the CD that runs around and around on replay. Best of all we can just talk about ourself without feeling guilty. Very healthy and beneficial in times like yours.
I agree that it is going to be the child that will suffer from all of this and it is the parents joint responsibility to protect and keep it safe.
Hard and all as this has been and that you have had your hopes and dreams crushed it is better now than if you had married and had a child/ren of your own. What I have said to my daughter in a situation similar to this was, "keep the good feelings from the good memories so you know how to achieve them again. Only next time you will be better prepared to know if they are real or not. You deserve to be happy and one day it will happen and all of this will slip into the past and you will walk out proud and happy in the knowledge you remained true to you".
Consider yourself hugged and commended for trying to make sense of an extremely unhappy experience and take comfort in the knowledge you can 'deal' with the big stuff of life in a logical self acknowledging manner.
You go girl and may good luck and true love be yours in the future.

Answer 4

I dont know perhaps you should feel like the one stoping this nonsense. Everyone is behaving like a wounded animal, protecting themselves and hurting back. I think it is time for everyone to go back into their corners and re evaluate what is really important and how they want to spend the rest of their lives.Cat fighting only helps when you are a cat. Give yourself the place you deserve dont go looking around for you would be boyfriend to throw you a link line. Obviously he made a choice, he has to lay with it but you dont. And if you choose to, then be prepare to live this drama every day. But I am guessing you have better things to accomplish in life.
Love.

Answer 5

I think the only one that was in love was you. If he had ever loved you he would not have left, then when things went wrong he would have come back-he didn't. I think this was a blessing in desguise, you are better off with out him. As far as the things the other girl is doing it is none of your business. Stay out of it and as far away from the both of them as you can get.

Answer 6

Man you should be happy you aren't still dating this guy. I would run as far away from this as possible and be happy that you never have to see these two again. The guy sounds screwy and the hussie isn't much better. Really count your blessings and move on.

Answer 7

I would feel very lucky that I had nothing to do with this creep or his new crummy girlfriend ever again. I would never have contact with either of them again, because they are toxic people.

I would feel very, very sad for their child.

I would feel that I am deserving of much, much better and go out and find a man who truly loved me, and love him back.

Answer 8

i would like to know how your[ boy freind ] got pregnant really before i could answer the question

Answer 9

i think he is probably embarresed that he went for her and left you. i also think he is embarresed that he was so easily manipulated. maybe talk to him and see whats going on. i really hope everything works out for you.

Answer 10

stay away he is nuts like her