My sister owes me alot of money but is refusing to pay it back. What can I do?

Question

I have a written agreement to say she will pay me back so much a month, but she has also borrowed more "off the record" since that was written up. Now she refuses to pay anything. Where do I stand. Can I take legal action?

Answer 1

First of all, remember that this is someone that you probably have to deal with for the rest of your life.
Going to court seems to be the a legal way to do it, and you seem to be in the right to do so , but is it the best way to deal with it?
It would mean that you "burn bridges" that cannot be repaired later and relatives (as annoying as they can be) can later in life be real lifesavers and a great support.

Be the better one here and try diplomacy as the first second and third option.
Explain the meaning of a written contract and the loss of trust breaking the rules means for her.
Explain the you are not a millionare and you count on those money she owes you, they are a part of your budget and when she dont pay up, she takes away nice things you otherwise could have done for that money.
Try to get some answer to why she cannot pay up, perhaps you two togeather can come up with a plan that means you get the money eventually ,but in smaller pieces and over a longer timeperiod.

Good luck... and if everything else fails , THEN its time for court.

Answer 2

Jennifer, I'm not expert on this, but I want to throw in my 2 cents. I've known people like this too. I've also cared deeply about people that screwed me over. All I can say is that it's easier to forgive if you have an understanding of why they did it. There's no doubt that her weak excuses suck and don't ring true. That's because they are coming from the same person that did these dirty deeds. She's not going to suddenly become a reasonable and honest person. However - that does not mean that you can't get this figured out, and come to some kind of understanding that will help you forgive. The bottom line is - she's messed up. I'm not saying she's crazy. I'm saying that she has a personality disorder, perhaps she is slightly sociopathic or something like that. Not enough to murder or do something that bad, but clearly, her 'cause and effect - right wrong meter' in her head is busted. It doesn't mean that she doesn't still care. It means that she just doesn't connect her actions with the impact to you, or if she does, she thinks 'oh well' instead of empathizing and not doing it. I believe you need to see a counselor. Not because of your own mind, but in order for them to help you get this sister figured out. They can tell you what motivates a person like this to screw up someone they love. When you understand, you can forgive. You may never be her best buddy again, and I'd definitely keep her at arms length, and I'd definitely put a lock on my credit if I were you, but you might be able to associate at Christmas, and baby sit the kids now and then, and God knows they clearly need a positive role model. That's my advice. Get a counselor. Don't let her jerk you around or manipulate you. That's another part of her mental issue. The heartache part, you probably just have to work through. I have no advice on that, but I wish I did. good luck Kevin

Answer 3

Yes, you can take legal action. You may want to go to a mediator and try to work out a solution before taking her to court. A mediator will sit with you both and aid you in reaching a mutual agreement.

It's better then going straight to court, because it gives you a chance to both talk it through, with someone guiding you, and may be less of a strain on the relationship you two have.
She may not show up to a mediator, or the court, and you could win, and still have problems getting back your money.

I think at this point, though, by refusing to pay you, she is the one who has put the strain on your relationship, so I wouldn't be too concerned that trying to get your money back through legal means will strain the relationship. It's already strained.

You really need to consult with a lawyer about this matter.

Answer 4

I must assume the amount owed isn't of the trivial nature or you wouldn't be all that concerned. Yes, you can take legal action, but I would first attempt contacting your (and her) immediate families. Usually matters of this type can be worked out without resorting to legal action. I don't know any details of why she has to borrow from you, so this is the best advice I can give, she is family after all. One thing I have learned through the years: "Never sell a used car to friends or family." If you understand what I mean.

Answer 5

well it doesn't sound good that you had to get a written agreement.. .But see its a good thing you did. Technically you could go to small claims(considering if it was a "small" amount or not) Then on the other hand, you have to consider the relationship. It is your family, and is she really struggling? and how will this effect the future? its not so much the money but the principal is at hand. you did have a written agreement she should follow through.... That's my thoughts.. take care

Answer 6

Well you can always tell your mommy that you sister won't give you your money back....
But first I would take a time (possibly over lunch) to discuss what the issues might be about why she can't currently pay you back. I am sure there are underlying issues and at least understanding them might make the situation better.
But if it comes down to it, then small claims court would be the official way to to about taking care of it.

Answer 7

You can take legal action if you choose to, but your relationship with your sister won't be so great. But you can take it to a small claims court if you have written proof saying she would pay you back.

Answer 8

It's tragic that money can divide siblings. As Shakespeare wrote, "neither a borrower nor a lender be".
It depends on you, what do you consider more important? The money or your sister? You could take legal action but I doubt your relationship would ever recover.
I am genuinely saddened by your predicament.

Answer 9

Hi,

Take her to small claims court, and with your having a written agreement to repay, and refusing to do so, the court will undoubtedly order her to pay you.

Darryl S.

Answer 10

No do nothing this is a good reason to hang up on her when she calls,not to talk to her,to forget her.I had a jerk across the street do that ,I could go over there and hurt him but if I hurt him I go to jail If I kill him I may go for a long time ,but now he does not borrow tools and I am rid of him.If he needs a ride to the hospital or something guess what.? no do nothing you are free of her.