I'm going insane...?

Question

I'm 37 weeks pregnant and have had my mother in law staying with my fiance,self and 2 yr old daughter for about two weeks. She came up from Fl. to witness the birth of our expected little boy. Things have been fine except she's leaving every chance she can to stay with family that lives 45 minutes away. Last week wasn't bad because nothing labor wise was happening. However tonight my contractions have been getting started and I think it might be the first stage of labor. When I got out of the shower around 6pm I made the announcement that contractions were starting and no more than 15 minutes later she was on the phone making plans for the rest of the weekend, and she was wanting my fiance to drive her the trip's entire distance, which is an hour and a half, there and back. I was shocked! If she just has to leave so be it, no big loss, but she had no respect to the fact that I can't drive myself to the birthing center if things really get going. What should I say when she get's back?

(My fiance left 20 minutes ago to take her)

I told him to take her because she was whinning on the phone that she wasn't able to get a ride because of me not wanting to be alone. I got tired of hearing it and said for my fiance to take her.

Answer 1

You say nothing to her. You tell your fiance that you and the kids are the most important priority. He needs to stand up to his mom. He should be the one to tell her that he can not and will not drive her all over the place.

Answer 2

Oh my goodness!! I wouldn't say a word to her about this - her actions have told you where her values are. No need to argue about it!! Now, your fiance...... you need to kick his *** when he gets home!! Don't do it in front of his mother, though. Wait until she leaves and then you need to tell him that his choices are really backwards. If you are his fiance and the mother of his children then you come first and so sorry, but he needs to stand up and be a man and tell his mommy NO. To me, he just let you know where is priorities are. If my husband/fiance/boyfriend/even birth coach decided to leave (doensn't matter what the reason is) when I'm starting labor then I just might call my best friend up and ask her to step in. And when he got home, if I was still pregnant, I wouldn't allow him in the hospital room (that's me, though). He made his choice. Sorry, if I'm a little harsh but this is so disrespectful. You can't do anything about your in-law, but the good side is that you are not marrying her and soon she will leave. But your man has some apron strings to cut. Been there, done that - here's a tip - you cannot be there when he does it, force him, or do it for him. You will end up being the bad guy. This is something he needs to do.
If you have this beautiful baby tonight - well Honey, God bless you. You stay strong and teach your son about being a man when he is older. Try to remember this moment when he takes a wife. Take care and call your best friend up. You need a shoulder to lean on right now.

Answer 3

God mother in laws drive me nuts! I have my own horror stories surrounding birth of babies and my mother in law who decided to tell me the day before my c section when I was 4 hours away in the hospital that she could no longer watch my older kids because she wanted to have a yard sale! So..I had to scramble and get my folks to drive 4 hours to pick up my kids so Mother in law could have her yard sale the day I was having my baby boy.....Yeah tell her to get her own ride and reem her out for not being supportive....She is probably thinking this is your first child and you are just a nervous mother to be thinking every pain is labor but she is wrong..At 37 weeks you could go into labor at any time and she needs to be more supportive and not leave you alone! let her get a cab and invite someone more caring over to be with you ...Sounds like she is having a vacation and using you for room and board. lay down the law to your husband now before it gets worse...My husband is 39 years old and his mother still buys his socks and underwear and makes his dentist appointments! Break that cord now before it gets worse because it will! This is just the beginning of her wrath.....and remember how she is treating you and never treat your own daughter in law that way someday...Good Luck!!

Answer 4

I'd tell her to get her crap and go stay with them. If you really needed her then you could just call and tell them you're going on to the hospital.. that the point was to be around for you, not use your house as a docking place or a place to come back to while she ran the roads visiting other people that right now is your special event not theirs.. the birth will only happen once, their pretty faces will be around after the birth, you know? I'd let her know I didn't appreciate it.

Answer 5

Before your hubby left w/ her I would have said " I THOUGHT you came here to watch YOUR grandson be BORN?" And then I would say- "I am having contractions as we speak so if you want to see this happen then sit your *** down and wait like the rest of us have to!"Your lucky she isn't there but do you have someone else handy to drive you if hubby don't get back on time??? You may want to line someone up just in case and if hubby & his mom miss the birth- it will be thir loss! Good luck!

Answer 6

Whoa... first of all, you need to sit him down when he returns and, without Momma there, have a nice long talk.

If she wants to run, run, run while she's there, she needs to understand that rental cars are always available, and she needs to get one. Since this is your second baby, he/she can arrive much quicker than your first child. You absolutely have to have a way to the hospital. Let her know that your fiancee is your only ride to immediate medical attention. If she still wants to travel, that highway works both ways. Someone else can always come to pick her up.

Answer 7

wow. that is incredibly rude, i'd just come out and tell her that it was fine and dandy that she wanted to leave, she has that right but when you can be going into labor and such, you would have really liked your husband to be there with you. incase anything did happen.

that is complete disrespect for you and to me it seems like being up where you live to experience the welcoming of your baby boy wasnt really what she had planned. and im sure your husband would like to be there with you as well, esp. if things did get on the roll and you go into labor. thats horrible, i'd completely flip. and you honestly have that right to flip out. and state your mind, your pregnant and could be going into early labor n such, she could have had them come get her or she could have left your husband stay there and if she really wanted to be there she would have stayed there with you too.. no offense but if my boyfriends mother did that to me, i wouldnt have hesitated on telling him that i really dont want him to go and i would have told her about it, for my own well being and for the birth of my daughter.

Answer 8

I think you should tell her that your fiance isnt going to be able to take her anywhere because he has other priorities. She should now! It seems like shes kinda doing it on purpose. Then give her the number to Yellow Cab.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I would tell her thanks for not helping when I need you. And I would have to tell my fiance thanks a lot for leaving me. He need to understand you can't be left with a 2 yr old and be in labor at the same time.