How do you deal with the death of an ex?

Question

My ex fiancee died this morning from cancer. We were engaged a few years back but because of things he has done pyschologically, I left him. For years, I hated the man for what he done. It even effected my relationship with my boyfriend. Though I love him dearly, I wasn't able to really give my all to him because of the past.

The last couple of months, my ex and I kept in contact to see how are we. He was planning on marrying his girlfriend but then he found out that he had terminal cancer. I saw him last week and we talked and had made peace with the past. Then he fell very ill and the last conversation we had (which was last night), he told me he was sorry for everything he's done. And I finally forgave him.

But it's still very hard to cope with this. His death also is a way to bury everything that happened and it's very overwhelming. I wondered how did you cope with someone you shared for a couple of years died? I may not be his fiancee, but I cared for him too.

What made it worse is that I asked my friends (they had a fall out with him a couple of years ago) to accept his apology and they all said for him to rot in hell. It made me think if they were real friends because even though he did stuff in the past, I did shared something more with him.

Answer 1

If it's not too late, possibly go to the memorial service for your ex. My condolences on his passing. It's good that you got to have a talk and he get your forgiveness. Maybe, instead of a friend, you could possibly meet with a counselor for a time or two-so you have a non-biased person to talk with about this ex of yours? Take care.