Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost nine months. I am 10 days late on my period and I have all the signs of pregnancy. The deal is, my boyfriend is 24 years old and my parents used to let him stay the weekends with me. My mom knew for a while that we were having sex. One day she caughts us and thats when we weren't allowed to see each other until I turn 18. She has let us see each other since then on several occasions. Now my doctor has called and she wants me to come in and take a pregnancy test. I do not want him thrown in jail. He wants to be a father and wants to make things work if I am pregnant. I do not think it is right for a father to be took away from his child. But I don't know what my parents are going to do to him if I am. Help!! I don't know what I am going to do?
2007-02-02 11:47:09 · 20 answers · asked by JHNCW 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
you need to tell your parents, the both of you do.if you are making adult decions you both will have to act like adults. and after this if you are or are not pregnant you have to make smart choices like wearing protection. you have to think about your choices that you make now and how they will affect your future. you need to tell your parents soon because you have to go to the doctor asap to make sure everything is going good, and the father should attend the doctors visit also and he should be in yours and the babys life and your parents will have to accept that.
2007-02-02 11:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by kimnicole07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA! Honey, you do not have anything to worry about! In the US the legal age of consent is 16! No one is going to arrest your boyfriend!!* I stand corrected! I just got done checking and sure enough, Tennessee says that the age of legal consent is 18! I am shocked! I knew that it was as young as 14 in some states but I did not know it was over 16 in ANY states! I am SO sorry to have given you the wrong answer! I live in Indiana and I knew it was 16 here......SORRY*
Okay, now that we have that problem handled we can talk about your other problem. First things first, have a test and confirm the pregnancy. This could be much ado about nothing. However...
if you have been having unprotected sex, AND you are ten days late AND you are having signs of pregnancy, I think we can pretty well assume that you are pregnant. It is NOT the end of the world. It is not good for you to get yourself all stressed out. If your parents were at one time letting your boyfriend spend the weekends then they must have liked him at one time. They need to realize that he is the same young man that they knew and liked before they found out that the two of you were being intimate. I am not sure why your mother would make you stop seeing him just because as you say, she "caught" the two of you. If she already knew that you were having sex, what was the big deal? It seems to me that your parents have been sending you some really mixed messages and if they get really mad at you I would be quick to point this out to them. They will have to see that in all fairness it is true.
I am quite sure that your parents will be upset. That really is a given. Still, when they have settled down and given it some time to sink in they are going to realize that they did like this young man and that your being pregnant is not the end of the world.
You say that your boyfriend wants to "make things work", does that imply that he would want to marry you? Would that be something that you would want also? If so, odds are there will be a wedding going on. If the two of you really love each other there is no reason that you cannot make this work. People younger than you have done so. From personal experience I can tell you that in my own family this happened (the girl was even younger than you) and the two of them have been married 8 years and have two little boys. They are more in love now than ever.
Everything will work out fine, please have faith in that. Your parents love you and want what is best for you. Do NOT let them pressure you into anything that you do not want to do. Remember that this is your baby and you have the right to decide what you want to do. Do not let anyone push you into having an abortion or anything like that. You are old enough to safely have a baby (you will need to get really good prenatal care and take excellent care of yourself because of your age tho) and the father of your child loves you. This is not a bad picture. Believe me, I talk to girls every day that do not have those things going for them. You are actually lucky. Things could be MUCH worse.
Be strong honey. If you are indeed going to be a mother you will have to be strong, it is what mothers do. See the doctor and get started on prenatal vitamins, you need the folic acid asap.
Everything is going to be all right. It will all work out. Where there is love there is a way. You are blessed, you have parents that love you, you have a man that loves you and you have a sweet baby growing inside of you. It will be okay!
Take care sweetie and let me know how things go, would you?
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~
2007-02-02 12:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you should have thought about that before having sex without using birth control. If your mom knew you were having sex then why didn't you take yourself to the doctor that is calling you and get on birth control and invest in 75 cent condoms?
If your pregnant then your going to have to deal with it if your wanting to have a baby. It seems as though you are more concerned with your boyfriend than you are about possibly being pregnant at age 17. If your parents want to get him into trouble then i do not blame then because he is a grown man and your a kid. Just go ahead and get married and have lots of kids and be done with it already.
2007-02-02 19:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you really shouldn't be worrying about what your parents are going to do to him. You should be worried about what you two are going to do to raise this baby? Will he really be around to help? Do you see a future with him? Babies are the most important thing that could ever happen to a family, weather it's incidental or not. So you need to figure out whats best for your baby. If you think moving out and starting a family with your boyfriend is the best things than go for it. But you do need to know if he's going to be a great father. Second don't worry about what your parents think you are now an independent woman you need to know that life decision are all on what you choose. Your parents cant make your decision you have to. of course they can guide you but honestly everything is up to you. Well girl I wish you the best of luck and if your not pregnant you need to really invest in some protection. Well good luck girl and I hope all turns out for the best.
2007-02-02 12:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lina Q 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i mean you eventually have to tell your parents anyways. I would do it as an adult i mean you are possible going to be a mom so act like one. You should first go find out for sure and then you and your boyfriend should tell your parents together. Im sorry your going through this but trust me everything happens for a reason Romans 8:28 and everything will work out how its supposed to but please just dont blame the baby for any of this. babies are miracles :)! i know im having one in 10 weeks !!
(ps im only 18.. yeah im married but still i want you to have hope it can work )
2007-02-02 11:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by K-la 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth didn't you use some form of birth control. You know it is readily available and you can get it from your doctor or Planned Parenthood. If nothing else where was your boyfriend's head? Doesn't he know how to go to Wal*Mart and buy some condoms? It's not as if they card you for them! You need to see your doctor then talk to your parents ASAP. It's time to take responsibility for your actions....I'm sorry if this sounds harsh when your already upset and scared....but this is why your parents make rules and guidelines for you. To protect you from some of the stupid mistakes that teens routinely make. I am sure that your parents love you...and they won't kill you or your boyfriend...they will probably be hurt, disappointed and yes, damned angry at first. But they are the ones who will stand by you and help you through this. I hope you aren't pregnant....but if you are....turn to your parents not away from them.
PS...don't panic until you find out for sure if you are or aren't.
2007-02-02 11:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well when do you turn 18. that will save you if you dont begin to show by then to tell your parents. But if I were you and I really was prego and loved him and if he's all about staying with you and becoming a dad. I would just leave with him. how are his parents go live with them. or get an appartment together. I dont know that would suck!
2007-02-02 12:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by Nicki08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to get thrown into jail, I was just 18 and my bf was 26 and we have a 2 yr old together now! Your parents are not going to want to seperate you two if you are pregnant because of your age....they may be really pissed off and yell alot but, if he is willing to be a father and you a mommy then good luck to you!
2007-02-02 11:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by jule9104 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well it ur life, but if he does want to help and not just leave u, then dont tell the doc who the father is! but if ur parents find out and they will sooner or later, u and ur bf need to sit down with them and he needs to explain what he did and that he is willing to take care of the three of u when the time comes, other then that its up to ur parents and if they are will to xsept whats happening or called the cops, ur still under age and living in there house
2007-02-02 11:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by CANDY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell you this i was 17 and pregnant and i knew him for 8 months he was 18 or 19 lol i dont remember. but its best to know if your parents do like him..my mom liked him..but when i told her i was pregnant she didnt want to see him even when he picked me up at my house to go out she would not answer the door...of course he felt bad but she couldnt help it that her daughter at 17 is pregnant...but then she already started to talk to him and tell him to take care of me and stuff like that..of course he did and they get along well...im 19 and pregnant AGAIN! but now she says shes gonna drag me to get an iud lol after i deliver...but its best to do the test and tell her asap cause if you dont tell her it will make things worse tell her that you trust her and love her and you know that she will support you and that your sorry...and say im pregnant... i told her that and well you know she got mad but then cried..i know im not helping but its true it may happen,,just becareful if your bf is not violent then you will regret being with him...my hubby is not violent he would never hit me he has never hurt me so just take the test and good luck.
2007-02-02 11:57:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋