I have been dating a man since his divorce three years ago. He doesn't say that he is against marriage but is not committing to me. Since I started dating him very shortly after the ink was dry on the divorce papers did that taint our relationship? I never understood the rebound issue but feel I may be living it. I want to commit and he wants thing the way they are?
2007-02-02 11:41:50 · 11 answers · asked by LDR02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yep
rebound!
2007-02-02 11:45:49 · answer #1 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well Being a Divorcee myself, I can kind of explain the rebound thing. I found that after I was divorced, I started getting very lonely. I sometimes miss having a guy around. I am a person who believes that sex is only for marriage, So dating after the divorce was much harder. The first guy I went out with, I really just wanted to cuddle with him, that is what I miss the most. As time has gone on, I have found that it is easier to be alone, but I still get extremely lonely sometimes. I have talked to other divorcees who have the same feelings. It is really easy to get involved with someone, that may not be the best choice for you, but keeps you from being lonely. If he won't commit, but he still wants to date, then he is probably just afraid of being alone. You give him the security that he has someone there. But that is not healthy for either of you. If after 3 years, he has not decided he wants to make a commitment, then he probably never will. I would say that it is time to move on. Also consider this, he got involved with you shortly after his divorce, he probably has never had time to get over it all. He may have gotten involved with you out of lonliness, he may not even realize that. You need to move on, he needs to get over his ex and then start dating.
Hope this helps you
2007-02-02 11:57:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, rebound! But they can work out and be great! Some men are afraid of committment especially after one committment hurt them. Men just like to be comfortable! Give it time, be patient and as long as there is no one else, you're fine! If you are for him, he will realize it in due time. He is still seeing ya right? Well that is considered a committment in a sense! Be cautious not to push or you may get pushed! Don't take away that comfort he finds with you when you are cool, like it was in the beginning. Men run from crying and nags! You may be asking for something that he is just not too ready to go through again, and with one failure under his belt, that should be understandable if you love him. You love him, wait, be patient and you will get a big surprise one day when you least expect it. If you are expecting it, it may seem like it will never happen. Time goes by fast when you are having fun, so just have fun with him. He will respond to fun!
2007-02-02 12:08:20 · answer #3 · answered by laurameetsworld 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,it usually is. Although,in my case; I married the man I started dating after my divorce. I did have some marriage issues and it took a while to get to the point where I could feel safe.
2007-02-02 12:47:18 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say. I'm the first one my husband dated after his divorce. We're still happily married, 13 years later.
I would advise you to keep your living arrangements separate, until you have what you want. If it's marriage, don't settle for less. He's probably scared to take the big plunge again, but if that's the case, he won't appreciate being rushed. The ball is in your court. As I said, just don't settle for less than you want or deserve. Good luck and I hope you find (found?) lasting happiness!
2007-02-02 11:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just because a ball bounces off a wall and takes longer than usual to hit the ground, that doesn't make it any less of a rebound.
2007-02-02 12:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah in some techniques hes a splash sh*t the way he has lead you on asserting he could such as you to be his gf and then telling you hes staying with this fling female. i do no longer understand, it genuinely relies upon on how a lot you like him yet i do no longer shield the way he has his possibilities, like 2 females falling at his ft. If it grew to become into me i could be slightly placed off that he knew how I felt approximately him yet grew to become into nonetheless going to establish this different female. i'm unsure if i ought to over seem this, yet in spite of the undeniable fact that theres a guy i like who advised me he wasn't searching for something severe yet whilst he got here to me in the morning and mentioned he needed a courting then i could. So examine it out of your individual point of view and think of of your happiness and how you sense as a respected individual.
2016-11-24 20:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the rebound thing is for real!!!! (assuming he didn't really want the divorce) If he hasn't decided you are the right one in 3 years the future prospects don't look well for you with him. Eventually he will find 'the one' and you will be 3+ years older and still single. You must decide how important marriage is to you.
2007-02-02 11:50:20 · answer #8 · answered by dano 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
"Why buy the cow, when he is getting the milk for free?" He is getting everything he wants with no commitment. If he decides to, he just leaves tomorrow.....and finds another woman to do the same thing....no strings attached!! You are no doubt a rebound, yes, but he is staying because he likes what he is getting...for free!
2007-02-02 11:48:29 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
he's cautious which is a good thing. he wants to protect the remainder of his assets and he doesn;t want to take another emotional hit.
2007-02-02 11:56:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
yup!
2007-02-02 11:52:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋