You know what? You don't want to get back with her if she comes back with her tail between her legs, so to speak! She will just do it to you again. When a woman is supposed to be in love, she wouldn't look at another man to potentially have feelings or allow them to grow! Something was wrong with her not you! If she can do it once, she will again and again, especially because it was okay for her the first time. I know this from experience. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it once it is gone for her! If it doesn't work out with him, she will or may try to come back. But ONLY if your door is open and you are really cool with her. Don't get irate with her and tell her you just want to see her happy if it is there or here, meaning with you. If she sees other women prospecting her old spot and you can do that casually without rubbing it in her face, she will think about it a little faster! Go out and have some fun, exchange phone numbers. You can say that the females that are calling are interested in you but that you are just friends. Then who knows you may find a better perspective on your "out with the old" and "in with the new"! The best thing is to keep busy, working, working out, going with the boys anywhere and the less you call on her will make her wonder why you are not being a crybaby peepee pants with her. The thing to do is make her wonder whats up with you and she will. Its hard to see someone new and wonder whats going on with all the silence over at the ex's! Then having fun and meeting others, they are bound to call you when she is with you, thus causing her to wonder and see that you may fill her spot sooner that she thought! That will get under her skin real fast-seeing her comfort zone closing! Be sure you really want her back! Then when she comes back, treat her like a princess and make sure she is well fed everyday if you know what I mean by that! ( pampering and attention is everything to a woman in love ) So don't let it fall off this time around if she is really the one for you. Otherwise she can get away again and you won't even see her going out the door with her bags packed! Only let her see you smile when she comes around, never crying or angry! Hold it back till she leaves! Make it pleasant for her when she is around! Good Luck and try to have fun for yourself for the time being!
2007-02-02 11:44:09
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answer #1
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answered by laurameetsworld 2
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2016-05-05 15:22:48
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answer #2
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answered by ? 3
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You didn't say anything about why she left. Ask yourself has she ever said anything to you about being unhappy? Was there something missing in the relationship? Did you appreciate her, and show her that you cared? Not by buying a gift on special occasions because that's what married couples do, but just because. For example, do the dishes, clear the table, help with the children, little things to let her know how much you appreciate her as a wife and mother? If you have the answer to some of these questions then you have an idea of why she may have left. When a woman strays it's because something is missing at home and when she says she's done, she's done. Good luck.
2007-02-02 11:44:04
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answer #3
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answered by Lisa D 5
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There is no easy way or answer to converting your spouse from adultery. (I've been in your shoes and mine never did)
Here's some things to think about, for your protection and health of your own self-worth: You ARE NOT the reason----you are her excuse. If she really loves you, as she states, she wouldn't be doing what she's doing, in fact, the thought never would have crossed her mind! If space is ALL she needs, then why the extra man?! Her decision to live immorally is making a profound negative and unhealthy impact upon your daughters morals and emotional state of mind! Have I painted a REAL picture of the REAL woman you are really married to, yet?!
You can't make her and you can't change her, but you can take responsibility and care of your daughters and yourself, as well as getting some legal advice, immediately, to protect you and your assets. Right now, there is no law preventing your wife from emptying the bank accts., or removing items from your home. So, I wouldn't be spending time on a computer looking for help. I'd be pounding on my attorney's door, yesterday, if I were you!
Maybe, once you do your part and give her something to think about, she'll come to her senses and get the counseling she needs, before the marriage can be repaired. Maybe......just maybe, your marriage will be a "one-in-a-million who survived!"
(this guy's gonna dump her, eventually)
Good Luck !!
2007-02-02 11:52:42
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answer #4
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answered by Cara 2
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Sounds as though she moved on without giving you the courtesy of telling you that she was unhappy. If you do decide to take her back you two should go get marriage counseling to help work out some of those marriage problems that she says she has. Communication is the number one thing that is the most important in a marriage.
2007-02-02 13:49:56
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answer #5
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answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6
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To start with, the third party (the man) is taking advantage of the position by offering his shoulder to your wife at her weak moments. Soon, it turns into a triangle. Seen it all.
Comments below assume you did not abuse your wife or children to give her valid reasons to move out.
When she moved to another man's house without notice, it was a pre-meditated move and not a spur of moment thing. You should just consult a lawyer and protect yourself as a defensive move no matter what the outcome is. (BTW, call your county bar association and you can usually see a lawyer for under $40 for half hour consultation to understand your options. Don't commit to that lawyer, just learn something.) Look at the bad side, she still has access to your bank accounts (assume you have money) and can take out large sums of money without your consent and uses it on him, who knows. That's why you should take immediate action to shut down her access legally and force her to the negotiate. You'd be amazed how often money comes into play here in all shapes and forms. Take it to heart.
It sounds like you have a chance to fight for custody of your children because she moved out instead of you. And the woman is usually loaded with advisors. The longer you drag it on thinking about getting back or not, your position gets worse and worse.
2007-02-02 11:48:18
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answer #6
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answered by Sir Richard 5
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From a legal standpoint, DO NOT move out of your house. If things don't work out (and chances are, they won't), you have the upper-hand because she is guilty of abandonment. Not to mention the fact that she is living with another man. Whether she is sleeping with him or not, is irrelevant at this point. I feel your pain, I really do. I am married and have two children as well. Try to work it out from where YOU are, not where she wants to be (in your home). Give her an ultimatum, come home or file for divorce.
2007-02-02 11:43:35
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answer #7
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answered by Tami C 3
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How awful for you. I am sorry to say that I can't believe she wants to work on the marriage if she just up and moved in with another man. If you really want her back you should suggest marriage counselling, if she is serious about working things out she will cut off all contact with this other man. Good luck.
2007-02-02 11:42:09
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answer #8
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answered by QT 5
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i best thing to do is give her the space she needs and in time she might realize that she really misses being with you and that she might want to try it again, but you cant jump to conclusions, she might want to experience something different that doesnt necessarily means that she does not love you, she might just be confused and burn out, give her her space and may be change the rouitine a bit, send her flowers for valentines day and may be chocolates, etc, but also dont over step and make her feel crowded, good luck and just give her time, if she loves you she will come back
2007-02-02 11:36:13
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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She's scamming the house right out from under you. Her and Mr. DICK are jerks. Besides, she looks like a deserting ho in the eyes of the court right now. Tell her to come home or forget it. Personally, I'd find another woman.
2007-02-02 11:33:35
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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