I've been duped by many "dating" partners, wherein I was exclusive and loyal, but they were carrying on with several women. If a relationship has become physical (in a month), and then there's no contact for a week--or more--and the guy seems sincerely apologetic about being so busy...what's the underlying "truth"?
I've set up the previous dates, but am plagued by the fact there's no reciprocity. Is the message "he's just not that into you" -- is that "pop psychology" at work, and if the guy seems worth "waiting for" ... or having as a friend...if he doesn't call, should I just let this thing die? I cannot carry the relationship alone. Any marriages out there that started this way and gradually improved?
2007-02-02 11:13:55 · 9 answers · asked by Yenelli 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As a matter of fact, this is how my relationship with my husband started! We talked on the phone constantly for months...then started dating. We saw each other almost daily...then it started to drop off. I found that I was doing most of the calling...I was doing most of the driving to see him...I was doing most of the dating! So I backed off...I made myself less available. Sure enough, he came around wondering what he had done wrong. I told him that I needed to feel wanted too, and I felt like I was initiating all of our contact. He made a point to change...and things are great. We dated for 5 years, and have been married for 2. Marriage is another issue!
2007-02-02 14:25:07 · answer #1 · answered by Dodger's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like, after some experience, you are recognizing that what a guy says is not half as important as what a guy DOES.
You are right to question what is going on. Stop initiating contact and see if he comes around. If not, then you have your answer. \
My relationships always have started out with us seeing each other to the point of exaughstion, not being ignored to the point of irritation. I would cut my losses and run.
I hope I am wrong, but I would hate to see you wasting your time on yet another jerk.
Hold out for a good one. Don't settle. Wish you the best of life and love.
2007-02-02 11:21:38 · answer #2 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before I met my guy, I read that "He's Just Not That Into You", and though it made sense, and I could relate to alot of the excuses women made about their guys, I didn't REALLY see myself in all that. I guess you know what I mean. Here's this guy saying a guy who's really into a woman will do all these things I never experienced like call when they say, prefer to hang with out with you, be loving and tender, WANT to talk about committment-I thought, yeah, maybe if you're really hot, or in California, or whatever-men don't really act like he said-at least not in MY world. Guess what-they do! I can't believe how much time I spent short changing myself because I accepted that real guys were just somewhat aloof, played games, didn't always call when they said, made you feel bad about yourself sometimes, etc.
Now that I'm with my current BF, I think back about everything he said in that book, and man, he's right on! My guy does call when he says, he makes me feel like a princess, tells me he loves me for no reason, lets me know how important I am to him, and just makes me happy overall. Thank God I didn't settle for any of those other fools who were trying to sell me their bill of goods!
My point is, if you carry on with this guy, you're giving him something he doesn't deserve, all the while denying yourself something you do...happiness.
2007-02-02 11:26:09 · answer #3 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds as though you are picking the wrong men. You are looking for love in on the wrong places. Guys can see desperate wanting a commitment look all over your face. They will take advantage of that and use you until they get bored. Get to know the man more before you go any further with them.
2007-02-02 13:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a matter of fact, mine did. I stopped calling him. I became unavailable. I appeared to not be interested. Eventually he asked me on a real date. The catch is, though - he was my best friend for years before we started dating. Then HE called it off, but wanted to string me along. Not happening. Eventually - he realized and came back. That was 11 years ago. Not a typical scenario.
2007-02-02 11:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it works both ways. I guess the thing we can all learn from these type of experiences is to pay less attention to what people say (no matter how much it inflates our egos) and more attention to what they do.
2007-02-02 14:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first everyone becomes a fan. go to the fans section,hover over there name and a thing says "add" click add and they will then be in your contacts and no longer a fan...
2016-05-24 06:28:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...don't push...if he feels the same way you do then it will happen....I think that if he has no contact at all for a week at a time there is a problem......think about what you want to do...don't hang around waiting and good luck
2007-02-02 11:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as if people count
2007-02-02 11:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋