I was pregant, baby now 6 mos. We just started talking again after 2 mos. after i caught him cheating. they dated for awhile and she actullay lived with him, they got in a big fight and he was telling her, the ho, he still loved me and baby. now they are not together. he says he loves me and talking to me hurts him sometimes cause of how he treated me. but that he's wants to work on changing himself so that he wont hurt me again. cheating or otherwise. he says he can't remember our "bad times". and when he was here all the those old feeling came flooding back. i told him i don't know if i could ever trust him again. he said he knows that. i do love him. and think that how he was acting was not truly him. his grandma had just died leaving him in charge of her estate and really lost i think.(they were v. close),he was just put on anit depresstion meds. which i think will help. he's more like himself now. so i don't know what to do.
What does everyone think?
2007-02-02 10:58:21 · 16 answers · asked by danita4_20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he probably does love you but he was confused at the time because he wanted sex and you couldnt give it to him at the moment.. it was wrong for him to cheat and maybe you should give it more time before taking him back but just at least try and be careful..
2007-02-02 11:00:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be very careful on the decision that you make. I don't blame you at all for losing your trust & faith in him.And if you have lost all of the trust & faith that you had in him then you should not allow him back into your lives. He has shown you that he was not nor will he ever be the loving trustworthy, and truly devoted, husband/father that you had expected him to be. Because if he was the only two peoplein his life that would have truly mattered to him would have been you and your baby. Not some Mistress! And it also sounds like he is trying to use not only your love for him but he is also trying to make you feel like the guilty one for not allowing him back home so that he can try to prove to you how much he loves you and his baby. I think that he is full of it! My opinion is that the only reason why he wants back into your lives is because he is not with her anymore and he needs a place to stay so he wants to try and feed you with all kinds of stupid excuses so that you will feel sorry for him and take him back. Honey, believe me if he truly loved you and his baby he would have never cheated on/left you in the first place. And I just want you to know. If you do decide to take him back you should realize that he cheated on you once already so don't be surprised when he cheats on you again. Once A Cheater Always A Cheater!
Good Luck!
2007-02-02 19:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't repair your marriage on your own. If you simply forgive him, chances are he will do the same thing when the next crisis in his life occurs. He needs to completely change the way he deals with stress and the ups and downs of marriage. You both but him especially need counseling. I would also suggest spiritual/religous counseling. Depending on your faith, a pastor or priest can really help married couples get back on track.
Don't sleep with him until he has gotten help. If he truly loves you and the baby, he will do this and become a better man.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-02 19:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by LuvMyGirls 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man who cheats when his wife is pregnant is SICK!! What a nasty thing to do. The ONLY way you should give him another chance is if you two go to marriage counselling together, but keep living apart until you go through the counselling and figure out what the hell is going wrong! Do not make excuses for him...he needs to get his head on straight and you need to work on your self esteem, because you deserve better and never let anyone treat you like dirt!
2007-02-02 20:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Redawg J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's found out that the grass isn't greener on the other side and now he wants to come back to you where it's safe and comfortable. He also wants to do this without him being made to feel guilty. It's a crock and you're crazy for believing him. Sorry to be so harsh, but wake up! He left his pregnant wife for another woman! He didn't give a crap about you or your child, all he cared about was himself and this whore he left you for. He's already done it once and he'll do it again as soon as he gets the chance. You've already been living for months without him and you need to kick his butt to the curb and move on with your precious baby. Ask yourself this question: do you want to be his doormat again?
2007-02-02 19:06:32 · answer #5 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for cheating. He wanted sex but you couldn't give it to him. That is no excuse he could have had sex with you but chose not to. HE made that choice and it is not your fault he did this. What's a relationship without trust? Im sure it will take years before you could fully trust him again. You will always have that image of his hoe of a mistress in your mind them two having sex will always be in the back of your mind. Ask yourself if your husband is worth a 2nd chance. Do you believe he really loves you? In my opinion now this is just my opinion if you really love someone you do not cheat. Men that make excuses up to cheat as well as women it's all mind games they play they want their cake and their pie too.
2007-02-02 19:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by Momof1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope move on he does not love you . if he loved you he would not have gone to this other girl in the first place . So now is the time to tell him to pay his child support and be done with him . He is playing you just so he wont have to pay child support . Dont be his fool and let him come back . Tell him to go back to her or whoever he wants . You are no longer interested in him and you just want child support for the baby . good luck .
2007-02-02 19:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually think he is making excuses for his bad behavior and you are allowing him to do these things. He sounds very immature and sounds as though he does not respect you and your child very much. He was thinking with the wrong head. I would really think about this one if I were you. Seek help with a couples counselor before you walk right back to him.
2007-02-02 22:02:44 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie i know you have a child together but you might get back together and lets face it will you ever think that he isnt cheating on you or will you ever forget.. i dont think so ..don't subject yourself to this find another guy that will treat you well and doesnt do this..
2007-02-02 20:53:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, and keep him on a long leash. Some will tell you to watch him like a hawk, but that will only drive him away. Give him his space, and try to trust him, but don't rush into marriage. If he really loves you and wants to be with you, you have to give him the freedom to prove it. If he cheats again, cut your ties and run.
2007-02-02 19:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by shojo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would never take a cheater back no matter how much it hurts or how much i love him my husband cheated and i can't forgive him it hurts too much if he apolgised i might but he hasn't think of your child you don't want a cheating dad around i hope
2007-02-06 18:53:37 · answer #11 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋