Just recently a friend of mine who considers himself gay told a lot of my friends that he really has a thing for me and I'm the only girl he's liked in so long and would consider dating me.. After hearing this I developed some really strong feelings for him. He's constantly flirting with me, complimenting me, talks to me about everything and anything..
Do you think this situation is worth going far with? or is it too risky..
2007-02-02 10:37:34 · 17 answers · asked by Jewel 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Just recently a friend of mine who considers himself gay told a lot of my friends that he really has a thing for me and I'm the only girl he's liked in so long and would consider dating me.. After hearing this I developed some really strong feelings for him. I really don't understand how he has feelings for me of all people, considering he's friends with so many girls. He's constantly flirting with me, complimenting me, talks to me about everything and anything, I catch him staring..
Do you think anything can come out of this or is is just too risky...
2007-02-02 10:42:38 · update #1
I'm also a straight woman whose best friend is a gay guy. Believe me I love him to death but as a brother. The second I ever started feeling attracted to him I would immediately remind myself that it could end our friendship. I am one of the few people that know so our other friends mostly women would fall for him & he just felt real uncomfortable. If you don't want to lose his friendship, let him make the move if he is bisexual.
2007-02-02 11:02:37 · answer #1 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's partly because you're being sterotyped and partly because girls feel more comfortable around you now than they did before. There is a certain way in which people expect gay people to behave, you are expected to like fashion, shopping etc and act in an effeminate way. Of course this is all b*ll*cks but it is the image that has been created in the media for gay men and it is in this way which girls now expect you to behave. Also girls probably feel alot more comfortable around you now they know you don't want to shag them. Guys and girls act quite differently when they're around people who they see as potential partners and now that they know you're not interested they act as if you were another of their female friends. You're probably having a rough time of it just now but it will only get better once people get used to it and stop treating your sexuality as a massive deal. Hang on in there buddy.
2016-03-29 02:06:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be way more worried about dating someone who is a friend than dating someone who has been seeing people of the same sex.
Most of this applies to any relationship, whether it is same sex or otherwise...I would approach it cautiously, which is important in any new relationship anyway. Remember also that dating a friend can end up disastrous if things don't work out, so that needs to be considered carefully. The fact that he is gay, or has been with other men, is something to think about and maybe take things slower than normal since the situation may be new to both of you. You don't want either of you to get hurt! But if it seems right, you are both comfortable and you are willing to risk the friendship if things don't work out, I say go for it. If you plan to take it to a sexual level, be safe, not because he may have been with other men, but because you should be safe with anyone.
Some of my gay friends seem to have their identities very focused on being homosexual, so that may be difficult for him if that is a large part of his identity. But not all people have their sexual orientation as a huge part of their sense of self-it depends on the person.
If everything in your instincts tells you to go for it and BOTH of you are comfortable, then give it a try, but I would definitely go slow! Finding a boyfriend is usually much easier than finding a "friend" friend, so keep that in your fore thoughts throughout. Good luck!
2007-02-02 11:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jen626 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely agree with oracle and coolgem... he most likely will eventually leave you for a gay guy and after having sex with you (if it goes there) will probably crave the weenis yet again. Also, like others said, you wouldn't want to ruin a friendship. Just have fun with it. We all know that after a relationship that didn't work out we usually can't go back to that initial fun-flirtacious phase that once was. So just keep it the way it is baby doll.
2007-02-02 15:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's really gay, the most you can hope for is a deep friendship. However, kids have a lot of confusion about sexual orientation and this boy may not know what he really is yet. Take it slowly or you could both get hurt.
2007-02-02 10:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, first of all he's bi, like other people have said. Either way, if you want to date him go ahead, but be careful, he might be truly gay but just going through a bi phase. (And I'm definitely not saying all bisexuals are just going through a phase, but it is possible that some are.)
2007-02-02 10:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by Kahlen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously not gay. He's bi-sexual. You have to decide if either he thinks enough of you to be able to maintain a monogamous relationship with you, or if you can deal with the fact that he will want guys too and whether or not you would want to be included in that, or leave him to do it on his own.
only you can prevent forest fires.
2007-02-02 10:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by Captain Jack ® 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not have sex with him. Having sex changes the relationship and opens the flood gates for emotions. Straight guys out number gays 10 to 1. That is a huge selection of guys for you. If you get involved with your gay friend.......... HE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR A GUY EVENTUALLY and you will loose the friendship. I know...I am the guy who left the girl for the guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-02 11:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
So, like each other, He may be gay but might be a true friend.
2007-02-02 10:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by crystal89431 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm..give it a shot..but just be aware that dating friends is a touchy situation..it can and generally does end badly
2007-02-02 10:40:55 · answer #10 · answered by Shina Beana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋