Please help. I've been with my girlfriend for sometime now (approximately 9 months). We are in love. In fact, the other day, she finally told me that she loves me, but I guess I just don't understand how she can love me. I am such a BORING person. I never have much to talk about, and I find that she is always initiating the conversation. I love both her and her 4 year old daughter with all my heart. I do everything with them. We go places together, we watch movies together, and we are going to Hawaii in September 08. I've asked her if she is happy, and she says "yes," but I feel like I'm going to lose her due to my dull nature. I try to talk about things, but I get tongue tied easily. My skills lie elsewhere. I just want to be able to have an open, loving relationship with her. On top of my introverted nature, I had a bad childhood where communication was not stressed. I hate being nervous around her because I love her so much. Does anyone have suggestions? Thank you!
2007-02-02 10:24:42 · 10 answers · asked by Just 1 Good Guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe your introverted nature is one of the things she loves about you.
I am a talker...big time. My husband isn't. We balance each other out. Just listen when she talks and you're probably doing exactly what she needs.
However, there are times when you will need to be able to open up to her. This will come with trust. You'll have to trust her not to make you feel bad for not being so great at expressing your feelings. You'll have to trust that, to her, what you have to say is important and she does want to hear it.
I always say that my husband doesn't talk much, but when he does, I listen. I listen because I know that when he talks he has something important to say. Other times, he's just really laid back and easy going.
I'll bet she loves you just the way you are!
Best wishes!
2007-02-02 10:32:44 · answer #1 · answered by Josi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your girlfriend and she has expressed her love to you than you obviously are doing something right. As far as conversations go, maybe you should try to ask her how her day was? Ask her if there's anything that she feels needs to be done around the house? (LOL) Watch television together and talk about what's on at that time. She might like you because you DON'T talk that much. A lot of people that don't talk alot are great listeners so maybe she appreciates that from you! Don't worry about it so much. It sounds like you both are in love!
2007-02-02 18:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by MsKisses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out to eat and think of every moment yall has had together surley after 9 months yall have had something to look back on. Start the conversation off fun and end it in a romantic most vonerable way. Trust me the kiss on the forehead always end the evening off with so much joy.
2007-02-02 18:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by Angelia W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just need to open yourself up to her. I'm a very quiet person myself, but I always have something to talk about with my boyfriend. Talk about your day at work there are always little things that may not be important but sometimes are funny, you can tell stories about your childhood and family, the things that you use to do with your friends, she probably will start telling her stories too!!
Quiet people are usually good listeners, maybe that's why she loves you so much =)
2007-02-02 19:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust her when she says she is happy with you. Quit over analyzing everything. And keep doing what you are doing. Sounds like you are doing well. Some people are just not talkers, especially in a group. If she isn't complaining, then being yourself is obviously working.
2007-02-02 18:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she loves you for who you are. Don't change that. Sometimes we are better off with the personalities we develop than to create false ones. I would just explain to her how you feel. If you cannot verbalize it then write her a letter confronting her with your fears in the relationship
2007-02-02 18:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a caring person, and she loves you for who you are and for treating her well. I would suggest you get some counseling to deal with some of your issues. It sounds like you don't like yourself very much, and to maintain this relationship, that will need to change, because she won't be able to reassure you that you're ok indefinitely. Bottom line - she loves you, why don't you? (love yourself)
2007-02-02 18:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by goblue_1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to keep the relation going one has to compromise n after living with her for 9 months u probably know what she likes what she doesn't so try to talk about it though it is hard for u to talk if u are not used to talk much but u can ask her different question girls love it when their boyfriends ask question about them they think their boyfriend's wants to know about them so ask questions talk about things she like talk about your future talk about her child there are so many topics u can talk about with her.
2007-02-02 18:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by Maddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not cuz you never talk that its a bad couple, if you really dont like this silent then talk to her about what you feel, its good to talk. Peace
If you need more help then write to me
2007-02-02 18:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by sabsc13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you taking it in a bad way? maybe she loves you juz for the way you are..... sit down and talk with her ask her whether does she feel you are lacking in anyting?whether she feels anyting unsatisfactory? if she points out your lack of communication........... explain your situation i am sure she will understand... don worry you are not lacking in anyting..... each person is different not every1 is a good talker..... every1's capabalities are different ya...
2007-02-02 18:31:07 · answer #10 · answered by Vani R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋