Would you consider it infidelity if your husband/wife?

Question

If you husband or wife declined to be "intimate" with you, would you consider it an act of infidelity?

No medical problems. No emotional problems. No relationship problems.

But, s/he simply doesn't find it to be important. Maybe once every two 6-8 weeks.

Over the years, it slowly declined.

Would you conside that infidelity (unfaithfulness) to your marriage vows?

Answer 1

YES, if it is VOLUNTARY -- not medical.

There are certain RESPONSIBILITIES in marriage. Adopting celibacy is not living up to the marriage vows.

What if the husband decided to work only occasionally?
Or, stay with his parents and only come home occasionally?

Would that be living up to the marriage vows?

The marriage vows imply that certain responsibilities WILL (not might) be met -- there will be a special "relationship."

---- unless they both agree to change those expectations.

So, YES, it is an act of UNFAITHFULNESS (or infidelity) to the marriage commitments for either to live elsewhere, refuse support, become abusive, or adopt CELIBACY in marriage -- unless both parties agree.

Answer 2

Not infidelity, but insensitivity. The person who doesn't want the sex might have medical problems like impotence (most men won't admit it; even though there is treatment for it nowadays) which could be due to undiagnosed medical conditions like high blood pressure or diabetes. When men have trouble getting erections they act like this and don't want to admit they have a problem; especially in midlife.
If it is the woman, there could also be medical problems like hormonal changes.
Then there are emotional problems. Depression? Unresolved marital issues? Lack of companionship otherwise?
There is always a reason why someone behaves the way that they do. If labeling it "infidelity" makes you happy rather than solving the problem go for it! The bible does say couples should not deny each other except to fast and then with permission of the spouse and afterward to reunite quickly to avoid problems. Read Ephesians 4-6.

Answer 3

No Its not infidelity but it is for sure selfish on her part.You see sex is a natural part of a relationship and should be enjoyed by both.In your case it may be that she just isn't into you anymore or maybe you don't please her well when you guys do mess around.So, It makes her dread doing it.Look, all you can do is ask her to go see someone to try and work this out.She probably still loves you but just doesn't know how to feel comfortable enough to tell you her reasons.Now, If she don't agree to go seek counseling for this and try and work at the marriage than its likely that she don't feel love for you anymore or may be having an affair that she is hiding and waiting for the right time to move on.Don't ponder on that but it could be. First talk to her in a loving respectful way and see where it goes

Answer 4

I don't know that I would consider it infidelity, but something is wrong. There may be a physical cause, or a psychological issue that isn't obvious. To me, when you say "no relationship problems," it raises a red flag. EVERYONE in a relationship has problems. If you don't, it's a problem because it means that you are unaware of what's going on between you. You might want to ask yourself whether you are doing things to keep the romance going. Do you do romantic things together? It is common for the spark to die down over time, but you mustn't let it go out. I would really recommend seeing a therapist as soon as possible.

Answer 5

That can go both ways. Maybe she finds that you have been infidel in your attention to her in putting her first. Women will do this if their needs are not being met in some way. Maybe you and your wife should go to counseling to find out why she is no longer interested in honoring your wedding vows. Two people should not be in a relationship and being living as you are separated in the bedroom. Surely there is some way to get her interested again. Suggest a vacation with the two of you going to a little romantic place. If she is not willing to do this, then you need to address the problem. She may even be depressed in some way you do not know about.

Answer 6

No not really, It happens all the time in marriages after being married for many years. Thats why both of you should try to keep the flame burning, by keeping each other interested. Think about trying new stuff maybe even toys or going places were both of you can be alone. Talk sweet to your partner but no its not unfaithfulness those are just things that happen in a marriage all the time...

Answer 7

actually it is now a known statistic that 80% of married couples are only intimate a few times a year. it is normal, but I have heard of a lot of women having issues with even feeling the urge to be intimate, maybe she should see a doctor to make sure she isn't having a problem like hormonal imballance.

that is definitely not infidelity, cheating is completely different than merely not being in the mood.

Answer 8

In a way, as far as marriage vows go, I wouldn't use the word "infidelity" but certainly there is something wrong. But make sure you look within first. You say there is no "relationship" problems, or "emotional" problems ... are you sure? How is his/her self-confidence? Does s/he feel beautiful or appealing? Does s/he feel unattractive? This can often be the cause... lack of self-esteem. When you know, then ask, what can I do to help him/her feel more confident?

Answer 9

There are so many unanswered questions with statistics. like were they married young, forced into marriage, or was it a marriage of convenience, If infidelity is there, evidently love and faith aren't, according to God lusting after another, (cheating on your spouse) is an abomination... If one must cheat then why be married????? If you don't take your vows serious then get out before you really cause hurt to your mate...our society is totally screwed up and so are the ho's (male and female alike) that believe cheating and open marriages are acceptable

Answer 10

Personally, I wouldn't consider it to to be unfaithful. However, it is a serious problem. This is an issue that a husband and wife should be able to talk about openly. Be careful not to make it a personal attack but an instance where you are simply searching for answers and a solution. Maybe a compromise is in order.