I am trying to get some good advice for a friend in need.... What would you do? Serious answers only please...

Question

She is married and has two kids with her husband. One is a newborn. Her husband is in jail for drug trafficking charges and is going to be in there for 7 years if he don't get parole. She got arrested also due to being that they are husband and wife and live in the same house. Her charges were drop down to PWID which are on her record now and she will have a hard time working back in the medical field with them on there. DMV has suspended her DL for 2 and a half years. She will have to get a route restricted license when she begins a job. She was put on probation for this for 3 years with early termination after fines are paid since this is her first offense. Right now things are looking bad for her and she also can't visit her husband in jail at all being that she is a co-defendant. How would she get her life back on track after all of this and what should she do? She loves her husband and wants to be there for him. Her husband has really learned from all of this and say he has change

Answer 1

Well first and foremost, She is lucky to have a friend like you~

I do hope that everything will work out for her. Her biggest friend at this point is TIME!

There are obviously no quick answers but maybe

1.you can facilitate her writing letters to her husband during the time that they are apart.

2.You might even offer to take his kids to the jail to visit him (which will keep his spirits up and strengthen the bond that they have).

I seriously doubt that she will find gainful employement so you could

3.assist her in navigating the welfare system and

4.help her manage her bills so that she can pay off her fines in a timely fashion.

5. Help her to do some research and decide on a career where her felony wont be as much of an issue. Unless she can get a pardon of some sort, it is not likely that she will be able to work in the medical field again so it is important that she uses the time to realistically assess new career goals!

6. When the time comes, rehearse with her what she will tell her kids. BELIEVE ME, that time WILL come especially if they live in a smaller town. If his arrest and conviction was not public knowledge, she is going to have to come up with something that does not tear at the self esteem of her children or make others treat them badly.

7. The most important thing I would think that you could do for her is just continue to be her friend and not make judgements on her choices.
There will be plenty of people doing that for her as it is.....
We all make mistakes.
Just glad that they did not take her kids or that neither one of them died in a drug transaction.

Answer 2

If she wants to get her life back on track she needs to start worrying about her children. I can't believe that she is totally innocent in this. She can worry about supporting her children and obeying the law so she doesn't end up in jail with her husband. Who would look after her kids if both parents are in jail? How old are her children? Does she want them to grow up with drugs and criminal activity as a regular part of their lives or does she want them to grow up to be productive members of society? Also, unless her husband completely changes she should get a divorce, it would be in the best interest of the children.

Answer 3

She might want to be there for him for now, she still loves him, but after a few years and her struggling because of him, she might end up feeling differently. The only way she can get her life back on track is to keep on living and try to find a good job. Pretty much just like convicts after they get out of jail. It's a sad situation, especially for the kids, but she can be both Mom and Dad, she just has to be strong.

Answer 4

I wish the best of luck for her. But to be honest, they always say that they have learned their lesson and changed. 80% of them go back to that lifestyle when they get out. I know from experience. Right now the best thing for her to do is think about those kids. She should be lucky that the kids werent taken away from her. She needs to pay her fines and provide for those kids. If there is still love and he has changed then continue the relationship when he gets out. And if he loved her and those kids, he would want her to provide for them since he isnt there to help out. And hopefully the family will help out all they can.

Answer 5

dump this loser he got her into all this mess . If he had not brought it to their house then she would not be in this trouble . She has children to think about and now she has to reschedule her whole life because of him and now she will not be able to work in the medical field which is a good one for job pay . No he has totally ruined her life she needs to dump him . People always say they changed when they are in jail but they really have nt . good luck to her . but he would be the last of my worries if I were her . Tell her to wise up.

Answer 6

Her life is going to be hard, but her and her husband did this to themselves and she is getting what she deserved. I have no sympathy for anyone that is involved in drug trafficing especially when the y have small children.

Answer 7

Honestly, she needs to get her life straightened out before worrying about seeing him. Once she gets her life straight, then she can pursue trying to reconcile things with her husband. Her children and her should be her top priority.

Answer 8

If your friend really believes her husband is serious about cleaning his act up then I say stick-it out with him.

Answer 9

Divorce his *** and start all over again. For "being there" for her, there's nothing he can do to help her now. If not for him, she wouldn't be in this mess.

Answer 10

In my opinion, "ain't NOTHING changed!" She needs to move on in her life...without him in it. She can wait 7 years, he gets out, and does it all over again. Not ever would I wait.....not in a million years! Sure, he's CHANGED....what would he say??? "Ain't NOTHING CHANGED!!!" Tell her to move on!!