Anytime I see others around me that are happy and good things are happening for them I just get jealous and hope things turn out for the worst for them, Im always the negative person never look at the bright side or good side of things!! I hate to see others happy and stuff if im not happy!! Im a vengeful, bitter. angry person and I wanna change I really do but how do i change??
2007-02-02 10:00:54 · 12 answers · asked by confused 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Grow up!!! You sound really immature. I'll bet that you have not held a loved ones hand while they died, have you?
I really feel sorry for you, I hope you change your crappy point of view, that is your only hope. It must suck to be you.
2007-02-02 10:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋
Nope. You're not a "bad" person. You might want to check out the movie "What the Bleep" that deals with this very thing. The main character goes from being bitter to being more positive.
It's about retraining your brain. Be aware of what you are thinking. When something good happens to a friend, your instant thought may be "Grrrr." Don't judge it. Just be aware of it. Then, give yourself a different message - this is actually a good thing. It means someone in your life is getting what they want - which actually means YOU are closer to getting what YOU want.
How?
Well, when good things happen to people, they're more likely to be positive and happy. They're more likely to help others in their lives to achieve a positive outcome.
Besides, most things are not a zero sum pie. Generally, the more good there is, the more good is created.
You might also put together a gratitude journal where each night before bed, you write down everything you feel grateful for. Read it each morning to try to set your intention to notice good things and appreciate them.
This takes consistency, but it can be done.
2007-02-02 10:09:54 · answer #2 · answered by Shrieking Panda 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you are a bad person.I think you need to have a talk with God and tell him whats going on in you life. Tell him you want to be happy and enjoy life. Ask him to help you change and mean it! Do this for yourself and you will become a better person. Life is beautiful...Choose to make it that way...Being negative, angry and envious of others will get you nowhere. Don't go wishing the worst for others beause it comes back to bite you in the ***. Seriously!!! Take care good person!
2007-02-02 10:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by Raulie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are a bad person but I wouldn't hang out with you. It would bring me down. If you are having problems making or keeping friends, this is probably why.
Most people work their *** off for what they have. They have created their own reality. Why would you hold that against them?
It may or may not be easy for you to realize that some folks choose to fail and others choose to succeed. Now, don't misunderstand me that I think everything is fair. We have plenty of problems in the world where LOTS and lots of people are dealing with oppression and suffering at the hands of others. But in the end YOU are responsible for your own attitude...and that makes all the difference in whether you succeed or fail.
Put another way, you may succeed or fail due to circumstances out of your control, but if you don't have a positive attitude you are a lot less likely to succeed.
Another point regarding your theory is that you are thoroughly mistaken. What you choose to see is the blessings of others. But everyone that is blessed also has their share of problems. You are not the only one that is suffering. And if you are using your particular problems as an excuse to fail, then you are mistaken again...because for every problem you have, someone else has it worse, or as bad, and is succeeding in spite of it.
Sounds to me like you are so busy being jealous about what others have, that you are not focussed on creating a positive situation for yourself. This indicates to me that you do not deserve the success you say you want.
This ultimately leads me to think that you have a very low opinion of yourself. For one, if you are comparing and judging yourself according to the prosperity of other people. For two, you don't seem to realize that, as a person who is responsible for your OWN happiness, that you deserve as much as anyone else. If you don't wish joy on yourself, and do things to achieve it, then you cannot expect it to fall in your lap.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself and whining about how life has screwed you over, and instead, empower yourself to do something that gives you success. If you want it, earn it.
2007-02-02 11:19:59 · answer #4 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
since you also stole my screen name, I will answer your question. Obviously, you have some issues and you have the foresight to see the error of your ways. I say that is great. Now, if you are really that unhappy, you probably need some professional help. Being happy is really the only thing in life. Give love, get love. Give help, get help. Give encouragement, get encouraged. You do need to change. Also, try a good Christian church.
2007-02-02 10:11:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Aaron Beck made a list of cognitive errors. His list includes absolutist thinking, or seeing the world as black and white good people and bad people. Magnifying the negative and on selective perception are also on his list. He is considered to be the main founder of cognitive-behavioral therapy.
2007-02-02 11:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by Janet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're depressed. By that I mean you're clinically depressed. You also probably have trouble sleeping, problems with your appetite (eat too much, not enough), don't want to get out of bed/go to work and other symptoms.
You should see a psychologist.
2007-02-02 14:42:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU KNOW GOD MADE YOUTO BE ABLE TO HAVE WHAT EVER OUR HEARTS DESIRE. BUT TO HAVE JELOUSY OR ENVY IS A SIN. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS BLESS OTHERS AND STOP SPEAKING NEGATIVE WORDS TO YOUR SELF WHICH ARE CURSES AND BEGAN TO SPEAK POSITIVE WORDS WHICH ARE BLESSING. IT IS POSSIABLE TO CHANGE BUT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR WAY OF THINKING. THERE ARE SOME BOOKS LIKE BATTLE FIELD OF THE MIND AND IT COMES WITH A WORK BOOK. ALSO 10 CURSES THAT BREAK THE BLESSING BY LARRY HUTCH THEY ARE GOOD BOOKS THAT CAN HELP YOU OUT. I DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE A BAD PERSON AT ALL I JUST THINK THAT YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT. BUT HANG IN THERE.
2007-02-02 10:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by colorred 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are already one step of being a better person because you recognize these deficiencies in yourself. knowing yourself is the first step and the hardest step because most human beings are always blind to their faults.
ever heard of the 7 deadly sins.....these are intrinsic human traits that are primitive but we carry with us....envy, wrath, greed, sloth, pride, gluttony, lust,etc. we all have these tendencies but we have to always fight them because that is what makes us human and less animalistic.
the only way you can change is consciously stop these thoughts when they come to your mind...... when you start thinking of these negative feelings and thoughts.....STOP right there and tell yourself....NO, NO, NO!! i will NOT think like that!
continuous self analysis and self correction will change you eventually and you will notice as time goes, you will be happier about yourself.
2007-02-02 13:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
omg im the same way. i hate it. it happens especially with my friends and i mean i love them but it i can see where youre coming from.
2007-02-02 10:18:12 · answer #10 · answered by omg its: sam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you help those around you be happy, then it means that you have become a better person for it. and then you win.
2007-02-02 10:11:02 · answer #11 · answered by bldskd9 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋