How Do You Deal With Moody Friends?

Question

I have this friend who she will be nice, funny talkative one day. Two days later she becomes another person. She's aloof, acts like she has an attitude about things and locks herself up emotionally and literally. But it seems like its just to me. I'm really at the point where I'm about to cut her off but I saw this while I was surfing :) Help!!

Answer 1

She maybe suffering from PMS or if she is a teenager it could be hormones. One day you are up and the next day down. Also it could be her family life where one day she is happy and the next day someone makes her sad and angry.

It really sounds like she has problems and it has nothing to do with you.

Answer 2

I give my moody friend of 20 years a week off . Then I tell her about herself . That is how our friendship is over this 20 yr period since Sept 1986 when we met in the sixth grade. Don't kick your friend to curb yet just tell her or him how you feel with there attitude and if there ok with looking at themselves in the way they'll want to change they won't get pissed at you . They'll change there ways etc..But f there the type that think there never wrong and toss it back on you then end all communication . Ok I hope that helped .

Answer 3

I don't know your age. But sounds like you two are very young. This happens a lot, and hopefully it will stop by the time you get old enough to really need her. Why is someone so moody so special?

Answer 4

nothings wrong with her im like that too sometime im just bored with the world or troubled by something best thing to do is to make her laugh its cool how someone could bright up your day with just a joke. try it and if she still moody then get away cause thats not her problem.

Answer 5

I used to have a friend like that. She was practically bipolar. With people like that, you have to be a strong person. If you are not prepared to be a surrogate mother to her, then don't talk to her as often and she won't take you for granted, even if she is not in the greatest mood.

Answer 6

Do you find this happens once every 29 days or so? I have the same question about my wife.

Answer 7

Hi there,

I would say that this friend has some very personal and deep emotional wounds she may be trying to deal with alone and because perhaps she doesn't want to involve you into her life to that extent in case you reject her for her having problems she doesn't want to push onto you?.

I certainly don't think that she is behaving like this on purpose or because she wants to hurt you, but because it is her own way of dealing with how she feels and has very few people she could open up to to talk about what might be going on?. Often, it is a sign that when people are hurting inside, they have this way of trying to shut others out they fear who might reject them. They don't let anyone see their pain and why some people shut themselves away from time to time and are often cheerful and happy the next time you see them.

This isn't a personality split or anything like that at all, it is just that sometimes, if somone has been through anyhting particularly bad in their lives, they never quite feel okay around other people if that pain involved other people who hurt them. This is hard for you to understand I am sure, but it sounds to me that perhaps this friend doesn't quite feel comfortable revealing her life story with you if the only contact you have is generally superficial?. If all you do is chat and laugh for a short while, then how are they going to know if it is okay to open up to you if they are not sure how you want that friendship to be?.

Try and be open about yourself more and see what happens?. I would say that this friend has no idea that you would like to be more open and closer in some way with her and why she closes up with you. You need to make the first step and to be honest about how you feel sometimes too and not just happy all of the time which might make her feel that you are not comfortable or happy to be deeper?. I am used to being a lot deeper than most people and because I have faced a lot of personal trauma in my life which tends to make people reflective and sad a lot of the time.

I don't always like it when I am around people who are always happy or too surface-levelled and not because they are not nice people, but because I can't always understand or know what their happiness is all about when I have only ever known pain and sadness in my life even though I do happen to be an extremely lovely and pleasant and friendly and kind person who can be funny and have a laugh from time to time. I am not a miserable person at all, but just can't feel the same elation as others or know where it is they are coming from?. - If your life has been so positve and hers not so, then this is why she may find it hard to be closer and not because she means to be.

She might be depressed?. Unless you open up a little more yourself then the more deeper she will feel comfortable being inside of herself and aloof from being in touch with pain she might feel when she doesn't want to hear about other people's good news. She needs to be understood and accepted and she is afraid that if she lets you in to her isolated world, that you might reject her?. Cutting her off will make her think that you don't care anyway and so that will be another friend who really wasn't one after all.

I would also look at the way you might behave when she is around you as it might be that you are doing something you are not aware of that is upsetting her. I know a guy that always puts me down without really meaning to do it, but he insults me and my intelligence a lot of the time and so when he is around me, I have to ignore him now. He recently called my friend gay due to the fact that he wore a cowboy outfit!.

I am sure that your friend just needs a friend who she can tell her secrets to and share some of her pain with but has no one to do this with and so when she is around you, doesn't really know how to relate to you. People can't be fun of all of the time unless you are escaping from your feelings all of the time and so it sounds as if this girl isn't pretending to be anything at all but being herslelf the only way she can around those who don't really know or understand her.

You sound like an intelligent person given your choice of words and I think your problem is quite simple and all you need to do is to get to know her a lot more than you do already. Hope I have helped, but am positive I have got this right as when I read it, it hit home to me what the problem was and sounds like this girl is in a lot of pain and needs a real friend to talk to.]

Best wishes and hope you can work it out.

Answer 8

tell them in advance that your prescriptions have run out and that you are no longer personally responsible for any violent outburst if anyone pisses you off.

Answer 9

When she is moody, stay away from her, that is what I do.