How long will it take?

Question

My ex hurt me really bad. He convinved me that we were working things out even after he had a baby with someone else. I was about 2 months pregnant with our 3rd child when she had the baby. Well recently I discovered that he was still seeing her. How long should it take for my broken heart to heal? I am also a little scared to start dating again. I just don't want to get hurt like this again. I am interested in someone though. Should I go for it or wait?

We were together for almost 7 years. I just found out from a family member that this isn't the first time he had cheated. Several of my family members saw him with other women, but were afraid to tell me. We have 3 children together.

Answer 1

Well sweetie it can take a long time to heal, it just depends on the person and you have to be strong now for your children, don't let them see you upset. Always keep in mind that god does things for a reason and he has a way of putting/ pulling people from our lives, maybe he saw fit that this was not the man he intended to bless you with. Don't be scared either...fear is of the devil and don't let him steal your spirit of becoming a stronger woman. Don't rush yourself either to be with anyone else...give yourself time, use this as a stepping stone. Learn to love you and appreciate what you are worth "FIRST" and then open yourself to share it with someone else. You have 3 kids to think about now girl take it from experience. Also this is the honest truth...never ask god for what you want, but for what you need. When you want something so bad he might just give it to you and then you will have to suffer the conciquences behind it. If this new intrest cares then he will WAIT for you.
Take this as a learning lesson also and don't carry ya past into your future either!!!!

Answer 2

I know how you feel but I think once removed from a situation, you will find it was for the best. I think within a year, you would establish a new life, a new routine and feel much better. Everyone heels at their own rate. I think their is no harm in dating after the divorce. I don't think you would want to date before then because that can be held against you in court. You should just take your time. If something is not working, you can always stop. I think it's marriage that you should be a little more leary of.
Hope that helps, I'm sorry to hear about your situation but I know it will get better for you.

Answer 3

You should probably wait. Focus on caring for your children, they need you the most. I'm sure it must be hard being with someone you love and then suddenly being by yourself, but I don't think getting yourself into another relationship will help you heal your broken heart. It could only make things worst for you. It's really hard to say how long it's going to take for you to FULLY heal, it could take months, weeks, or perhaps years, specially since you have children with this guy. The right guy will come along with time.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

You're the mother of 3 kids and all you can think about is DATING AGAIN?!! Don't you think it's time you concentrated on being a good mother and making a safe, secure life for them and yourself. Happy people attract people to themselves. It's a proven fact. And losers attract losers. If you take the next few years to grow up, mature, set a good example for your children and just LIVE, you will have a better chance of meeting someone nice. You surely don't want to meet just any guy! Isn't it better to make a good home and show your children what devoted LOVE really means so they don't make mistakes in future when they're older (i.e. mistake sex for love)? Once you have happy, well-adjusted children attending school, and once you concentrate on being healthy and happy with yourself, you will start going to games and school events with your kids and you might meet a super-duper single dad who is showing the same commitment to family. That's what you need. Not some guy whose brains are all in his jeans. You created those 3 children so now it's time to honour them. The years will go by fast, don't worry! And you will feel so much better about yourself if you wait for the right person, a good stepfather, a faithful husband - instead of rushing into connecting with just "any guy" because you feel lonely.

Answer 5

I am sorry you got a bad apple, been there done that. Wait about a year but go ahead and go out on casual dates. Then look at your life and see if there is really room for someone else in it other than yourself and your kids, many woman are finding it easier to live without a man to stress them, but keep some casually on the side(friends with benefits)

Answer 6

u have been lied to cheated on and deceived, but at some point u have to get the courage to reach out again for the love u want. there is no time limit on a broken heart, it is best to make sure we are over the other person or moving in that direction before we seek love again, if we don't we will just bring our past hurts to the next relationship.

Answer 7

You should go for it but make sure that he knows that you're just getting out of a serious relationship and need to go slowly. Don't start dating him exclusively until you're sure you're ready. As for your broken heart healing, I've personally found that it takes until I make my mind up that I'm going to get over it, that's when I can begin to heal. After that you have to work on healing yourself, its hard and takes time, but you just have to keep it in your head that you will make it through it. Good luck!

Answer 8

GOOD LORD! Let me see if I have this right......you were pregnant with your THIRD child (obviously not married) and he got somebody else pregnant and now has a 4th kid with another woman? What's wrong with you??? Is THIS the kind of man you want as a husband and as a role model for your THREE kids? You need to GROW UP and worry about the THREE kids you've had instead of worrying about who the "F" you're going to date. Un-freakin-believable!!!!! And for God's sake, buy some condoms! Then read the instructions since you obviously don't know how to use them properly!!!!! (sorry so harsh, but the truth hurts)

Answer 9

If u feel insecure about dating don't. I f u r afraid of being hurt again find out a little more about him than what u know. No one can tell you when your heart will stop hurting. But remember just don't stalk him and don't make it obvious that u like him. Play the HARD TO GET game.

Answer 10

Take care of yourself, your new baby and your other children. I'm very sorry to hear that. I had an ex that got another girl pregnant while he was with me too...It hurts. Time heals everything...hang in there Sweetie.