Is it doomed to fail if you move too fast? How fast is too fast? What about rebound relationships after divorce? What about people who move on with the person they had an affair with? My question - what is the best way to move in to a new relationship? How do you increase your chances of success?
2007-02-02 08:38:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clarify - I did NOT have an affair. I was actually cheated on by my now ex husband. Just trying to understand how people in different situations move on. Thanks - great answers!
2007-02-02 10:00:50 · update #1
After any divorce, or an end up of a long relationship or even the death of a partner, you need time to heal your emotions of emptiness, loneliness, and pain.
And it all depend on the depth of that relationship use to be. If we are talking here about a great love story, then we need longer time to recover.
Running – and I call it running – to another relationship while you are, still having your wounds will only increase your sense of pain.
When someone is in pain, he escapes because he cannot face his own agony – It’s the hardest thing any human can face-. Usually the common escape is another relationship.
But when you are in that state of mind, you are emotionally vulnerable and easy to get hurt again. Your wounds still fresh and open and you need to protect yourself as much as you can.
You should take all the time you need to get out of the red zone of the past relationship.
Then you will move to another stage of accepting your life without that person.
To start getting use to the fact that you are alone now, free, and able to handle your life, from that point and on.
It is a new beginning for you that you have to take control of it, either its painful or not.
So, just be gentle to yourself and take it step by step. Drive your life on 25 miles instead of 60.
When you slow down, you will have the chance to enjoy what you missed before and you will have the freedom and the power to experience your life in different way. Then you will have the wisdom to judge your emotions and others in different means.
Do not loose faith in yourself and start loving your self more. After that when you decide to be with someone, you will know in your heart, that you are in safe hands this time.
Take care
God bless
2007-02-02 09:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Transitional Relationships After Divorce
2016-10-14 11:25:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm going to try not to type a diatribe on this one. The first thing to realize is that ALL relationships end!Disagree all you want , but think about it,breakup,divorce,relocation,new intrests,and death. Its how you end the relationship, and how you treat it while your in it.The ultimate maturity in a person can come to pieces when they are told they are no longer wanted in a special way that they had before.
But with a solid grasp of honesty about yourself,and a support group(not a bunch of yes people that you lie to) to listen to your feelings and tell you if your on a healthy track, you can always start, stop,and pickup a relationship almost where you left off.(Kinda like a bad habit) Its never the easiest thing to do ,but treating a person like you want to be treated ...and COMMUNICATING with them (not spilling your guts like they are your therapist) is probably the best way to increase your chance of success. Good luck...We can't choose the people we fall in love with.
Increase your chance by not looking for it.Just be open when common intrests bring you together.
2007-02-02 08:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by MACGUYVER 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well after a divorce you need to taker the time to adjust to who and what you are now without that other person in your life. You will be going through a period of self discovery about yourself and what you believe, this is normal because parts of yourself that have not grown with burst forth with freshness of this new time of your life. its a time where judgment is quite often cloudy and it can mislead ones thoughts and emotions. when you have adjusted to being single again, and are balanced in all things, you Will be ready to develop new romantic interests , in which you will see things clearly. the longer you take the better the chance of your next relationship working out.
2007-02-02 08:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just date you will find your true love someday but the one in the divorce is what you thought was love but you were terribly wrong ..
when i was 8 my parents got divorced and a year later my mom found her true love but my dad had a new girlfriend right away and was together for 4 years broke up for 2 days and now are still going out so a rebound could make oyu lovebind oh yeah and my dad had a baby with the girl 3 years later after they strated going out
2007-02-02 08:45:28 · answer #5 · answered by devon w ♪♫ is in luff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just answered a question that asked: what would you do differently & why......................it was my relationship AFTER my divorce. He was the complete opposite of my Ex but it was such a wrong choice. I should have dated casually for at least 6 months before living with someone. It was such a bad relationship, I am even afraid to try again. Go VERY slow and be careful.
2007-02-02 08:43:29 · answer #6 · answered by Peggy r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to get over the divorce before pursuing another relationship. You will know when you are ready. However, if you start too soon, you may hurt an innocent party (the new girl) with your memories and feelings for your ex.
2007-02-02 08:41:12 · answer #7 · answered by hiyall123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll never know if you don't try. There's nothing wrong with trying and failing. You can always pick back up and start again. You've already shown yourself you can do that by being divorced and starting to look for something new. Good luck!
2007-02-02 08:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ashesmum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a mourning period after a divorce and time is needed to come back from that before delving into a new relationship. Everyone heals at their own rate. I waited about nine months before I started dating again.
2007-02-02 08:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I only have one thing to say--do not move on with the person whom you had an affair with while you were still married. On the long run, it will not work out. The reason is that you cheated on your spouse to be with this person. While having to sneak around to have the affair, it may feel exciting and adventurous; but when you completely belong to this person, s/he will always remember that you cheated on your spouse to be with him/her before. And you can cheat again on him/her. The trust never seems to be there. We all know where the relationship heads when there's no trust, right?
2007-02-02 08:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋