First of all, I am happily married to a great guy, for a lil over a year now.
Every night my hubby's buddy comes over to our house and every night my hubby is playing on his xbox for hours and hours on end in his recliner, so his buddy and I just sit and drink and talk to each other on the couch and watch my hubby play his video games. My husband is a great person, and I am so blessed to have him, but he never takes me seriously, and we have never in one year had a real conversation, he just jokes around constantly. We hardly ever are romantic w/each other..mainly because he stays up too late playing video games. Well so anyway, his friend, I guess I should say OUR friend, always talks to me and just treats me like I dunno, really nicely and I dunno I think I may have a smallish crush on this guy, and I DON'T WANT to have a crush on him, I don't want to hurt my husband, or him, so don't think I'm like this awful person, I just want to know how to get these feelings out of my head!
2007-02-02 08:35:25 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I seem childish, but no I'm not in high school. I'm 23 yrs old
2007-02-02 08:45:26 · update #1
I cannot really tell for sure if his friend is flirting with me. He's just really really nice to me all the time, and I guess yes sometimes it seems like he's flirting. My mom even said she's noticed it....
2007-02-02 08:47:25 · update #2
the feelings you are having are normal. just let them be feelings and don't act on them. tell your husband you need to have a serious talk with him and you would love some romance and normal conversations sometimes. tell him he needs to limit his time playing games and pay more attention to you.
2007-02-02 08:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by firefly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think so far your feelings for this guy sound really innocent. Also the fact that you realize you may have a crush on him, and that it is inappropriate tells me you know that long term it could be a problem. Throughout your married life you will meet men that you find attractive or interesting, it is human nature. However, it is when you act on this that it becomes a fling or an affair, and is a recipe for disaster (that is if you want your marriage to work).
I do think you need to look into why "your friend" is at your house every day. Maybe it is a cause and effect type of situation. Is his being there every day the cause of your lack of intimacy with your husband? You are a newlyweds, you two should be all over each other, not playing video games all night. Maybe you need to make more time for each other, and you wont be so drawn to this guy's friendship. Tell your husband how you feel, about the joking around all the time. Tell him you need conversation, companionship, and romance.
I think what ever happens with your "friend", even if you never act on your attraction to him, it sounds like your marriage may need some work. Ask your self WHY you enjoy this guys company Vs. your husbands, maybe you will get to the heart of the matter. Good Luck, a good marriage takes a lot of work.
2007-02-02 08:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by NeNe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that you've done nothing wrong, and realize that the feelings you have , while nice, can lead to serious trouble. First, stop sitting and talking to hubby's friend. Burn the x box, walk around the house naked (not while friend is there LOL), put a porn tape on the TV. WHATEVER it takes to get your husband's attention. You need to tell him, and you need to make sure he actually hears, that you can't just sit and watch him play video games every night. A relationship won't last unless you guys begin being together socially. He's too involved with his games, which can be as harmful as another woman. Fix this, or plan on being divorced.
2007-02-02 08:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you have is a problem in your marriage that is causing you to seek the closeness from someone else that you should be getting from your husband. It is time to set him down for a very serious talk. Make him understand that if things continue the way they are that he is going to be coming home to the xbox. Find out why he is more into the game than he is into you and your marriage.
Honest communication is the only way to get through a marriage. I don't think it is so much a crush on the friend as straight up loneliness in your marriage. If your husband unplugs and pays attention, things will improve tremendously. Good Luck.
2007-02-02 08:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are talking yourself into going for it. That much is obvious. My suggestion, if you seriously want to stop yourself, is to stop making excuses for the way you feel in order to justify your guilt as a result of your human desires to be held. If you want your husband to BE a husband, then you are going to have to tell him, point blank. Your hubby sounds like a typical guy and his friend is NOT really his friend. You are being deceived by the so-called friend as he manipulates the situation to HIS sexual benefit.
Communicate with your hubby or pay the price.
2007-02-02 09:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why dont u try joining ur husband for a game on X Box?YOU take him out for dinner and explain the situation...else,i think,u wont be at mistake coz ur husband doesnt care about u and think what ur needs are.I wudnt blame u if u found someone else who can keep u happy and entertained.go ahead dear,life is short and so live it to the fullest.If i was ur hubby,i wudnt have allowed such a situation happen to my wife.U are the best to have atleast thought and asked for suggestion...others simply dive in
2007-02-02 08:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Vishnu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all.. tell your "hubby" ur situation and how u want to have a real conversation w/ him and to treat u seriously. also .. this may sound bad.. but tell ur FRIEND u and ur husband need alone time. maybe u should focus on ur husband's good traits to keep ur focus on him and not his friend. and btw.. u should spend more time together not just u watching him play video games all the time. GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-02 08:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will eventually lose the feelings as long as you DON'T act on them. That will be the beginning of something you probably don't want if you act on them. Maybe when he's there excuse yourself and go in your bedroom or outside ALONE. Give yourself time to lose the feelings. But if you continue to have that time with him everytime he comes over the feelings may increase. Just be careful and remember that you don't want them. I also have to say, break the damn video game console! Good luck.
2007-02-02 08:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Happy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of it relies upon on while you're friends along with her or no longer. If its some random stranger you artwork with or you bypass to college with yet do no longer seek advice from, you in all risk purely have a stupid crush (i be attentive to 40+ 300 and sixty 5 days olds with stupid crushes, do no longer concern approximately being 21 with a stupid crush). in case you seek advice from her or are friends along with her, it would desire to be something extra. you will on no account be attentive to in case you do no longer seek advice from her and get to be attentive to her :]
2016-12-16 19:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't even mention whether or not this friend is flirting with you. So therefore, assuming that its just the simplest of friendships and you are being swayed this easily, means there is something seriously amiss with your marriage.
Talk to your husband...tell him you feel neglected. And he needs to spend time with you.
If he ignores your please, tell him you didn't marry him for his XBOX skills and your relationship needs some attention.
A relationship that isn't nurtured will die, plain and simple. If he can't realize that, then it will only be an amount of time before you realize you have needs that need to be filled.
2007-02-02 08:44:56 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋